First Steps to Solvency

Four_Seasons

welcome back Alt how about one of your positive thoughts each day - I have missed them x

theoretica

alt80 said:

I actually think potentially just paying the cards off through a dividend is possibly the best thing to do and close all the accounts. One to discuss with my accountant really not something for me to just go and do but thanks for that suggestion.

It seems to me that one big point of doing well in business is the reward of income to spend - but there is a huge trap to avoid of paying off debt and then building it up again.  Usually seen on these boards where people have taken out a loan to consolidate debt...  Personally, I am a big believer in earning money and then spending it - not the other way round.

AllNightDiner

I did not expect how sad I would be by this latest twist. Having read most of this thread, it simply did not occur to me that you would do anything but go from strength to strength. Very glad to see that you are now posting Day 2. You’re an inspiration and write so affectingly of your struggles and your triumphs. Keep strong (and keep that debt journey going too of course).

Allikat86

Alt, have been thinking about your wife this evening. I found the SMART recovery friends and family meetings very helpful. She can attend online, she doesn’t have to speak if she doesn’t want to. The meetings are about support, not blaming you or her, and they don’t encourage certain goals etc. It may also encourage some self reflection for her too RE: her own spending behaviours. 

https://smartrecovery.org.uk/online-meetings/

alt80

Thank you. I left my cards at my office again today. Friday tomorrow and back with the pros. 

The calendar was to let someone know how much they mean to you and why. I did.

Off to bed now.

katsu

@alt80 I hope you keep you diary and don't close it as you can focus again on your money saving and family life saving together. 

I think there's a lot of support here for you. It must be really hard to do what you are doing but I'm sure you'll make it in recovery. People do. 

I'm really touched by the 2 posters who talked about living with addiction and how it might impact your wife. That was really powerful and I'm sure it will help other readers as well as you.

So... you are thinking of closing cards (seems a smart move). I assume you can't buy drugs with a credit card. I guess I've always assumed they are cash only. 

Are you going to have a family rebudgetting with your wife? It might be a bit awkward to do that now so maybe you'll need some help from the pros on discussing it with your wife. 

Good luck in finding some money-saving things to do with your family for the weekend. With the weather being nice can you make plans for something free or low cost with your son? 

alt80

@katsu I hope I make it some day, alternative too grim to consider really I know.

Idk what my plans are re cards tbh thinking ‘aloud’. I have considered closing accounts before many times over and just couldn’t do it; paranoid about not having access to the banks’ money. Day to day doesn’t matter of course but if some day I do need it and for whatever reason credit is less available I’ll regret having closed the accounts. That’s my thinking behind struggling to make a move to strike the multiple cards. Anyway not in the frame of mind to think about it really. Past few weeks I’ve spent on having a full body scan and on some things for my wife trying to make up for me being cokehead I know that’s why I do it but can’t stop. 

I am thankful for the support on here. I know things are difficult for my wife living with me and the relapses. She has a difficult time and it breaks me knowing what I’ve put my family through starts the !!!!!! merry go round again sometimes feel bad and relapse. Decide I want to have an evening off being in recovery and relapse. Stressed and relapse. Cause more hurt, evening off is never worth what usually but not always comes after but does eventually after a few more evenings out and the stress is even worse. Dumb I know

The weather is pleasant here and today I am not working. Pros, lunch and a walk. Last night tried to get back into some of the things I did in the rehab which I just let slip altogether it was quite pleasant. Tomorrow cooking a bbq Greek style and Sunday cooking lunch.

vampirotoothus

@alt80 your weekend plans sound lovely, I hope you all have a great time V x

ladyholly

Glad you are planning your weekend. Sounds much more positive.

If you had some savings I don't think you would be as concerned giving up your cards. I know paying debts is usually the go to idea but I think you have said your debts are mainly 0% so to relieve you anxiety some savings might help.
I am sure wiser heads than mine may have a thought on this.
With regard to other matters very few journeys run in a straight line so keep going, plan your weekends and enjoy your son while he is young.

alt80

I've come on here this evening to thank everyone who has provided advice to me; a lot of it very sound and there's been lots of things I have taken on board which has helped me to get into the fortunate position of being able to now take some time to focus on my health. Things have been bad for a while 'nothing' was a little and 'a little' was a lot and I have also been completely burned out for years. I will never forget the 'tough love' and sound advice that has contributed towards me being able to step away for a while to focus on recovery knowing the wheels will keep turning. 

Not a goodbye but a see you later when I am in a much better place.

Thank you.