First Steps to Solvency

strawb_shortcake

I hope you realise this is a mistake before it pulls you too deep. I suspect your wife will overlook the drug use whilst it boosts her wardrobe and her Instagram likes.

Everyone that takes drugs think they can control it, but you've shown time and time again you are a man that lives on the extremes, you haven't mastered middle ground and that's not going to happen whilst sticking stuff up your nose. 

You and you alone imprisoned yourself in a miserable no spend life, we could all see the wonderful and enriching life that awaited you once your debts were paid. 

If you thought your last LBM was a dark place I suspect the next will be far worse if you aren't careful 

katsu

@alt80 I've thought of you a lot today and I hope you can talk to the pros. Really talk about your weekend, why you felt you needed it and how you can live your best life.  Not just exist in a joyless struggle or evade your life and your feelings by using substances to blot out feelings/fears.

You deserve a good home life, you and your son and your wife. I really think you need to get advice on how to best secure that.

We are worried for you but people are here for you. 

getmore4less

I had a longer post but have toned it down to one main point as some others have been covered already..

Your druggy head got you again.

Every day you should be waking up thinking, what can I do today to be a better dad. 

You are lucky you have a business where you could be there all the time for your lad when he is not at school or with his mates.

warby68

So sad to read this - how easily the druggy brain justifications and behaviours return.

Addiction has won this battle, I hope you decide very quickly you do not want it to win the war.

I feel for your boy most of all and hope your wife is not too swayed by her newly returned spending power to put him first. 

The next fall could be a lot worse. That's how it goes.

Grumpelstiltskin

Alt I have been quiet for a while and you know I say things as I feel them.

Read  back your latest post and count how many times you said 'I'.

Is it your addiction or do you really think it is all about you?

I have never had an addiction so I don't know if it is that but you do seem only to think about yourself and not about your family.

Don't you see you should be putting them before yourself?

The world doesn't revolve around you.

Iamouttheotherside

So now we start having the come down .... "pity me, pity me".  Grow up, grow a pair, dust yourself off and admit you've ducked up instead of trying to gain sympathy, because I suspect you won't get much from this board.

Admit you have an addictive personality, drugs, work, spreadsheets, figures, thats what you need to manage.   

Your business profits are soaring yet you are getting no benefit from it - ridiculous, what's the point?   Withdraw some money from your business, pay yourself some well earned dividends and pay your debts off, stop thinking you have to grow the business and by doing that it means you can't take a penny out of it!  Thats the debt addiction sorted out.  Reap the benefits of your hard earnings, at present you're not, you're busting your balls and getting nothing in return, you're burning out.

Start getting another addiction, showing your son about life, what is outside of the NG postcode?  Where has he been for holidays? What countries has he seen, to me it seems like Centre Parts and Greece.    You seem to think if you can put the money into private education he will get the life education he needs - wrong!  It is the schools responsibility to educate a curriculum that every child has, but as a parent it is your responsibility to teach them and show them life and to show them how to be a good adult!

Aren't you supposed to be going to Greece in the half term/summer? Start planning that!  You earn the money hire a boat and crew for the day, take your family snorkelling.  Plan some island visits, trips, days out occupy your mind that way.

As for the drugs only you can sort that out, but just remember its your son who will be supporting your wife at your funeral, I am sure it's not a memory you want him to have or maybe the junkie inside doesn't care about that?

There is a big world out there Alt about time you appreciated it and showed it to your son, instead of thinking "a great weekend" is in a pub snorting a line!  Had to laugh at that you sounded like a right down and out, but I bet you felt like a real big man that night.

Only you can do this

Amber1980

Please try and get on top of the depression, and I’ve never mentioned it on here and have never actually said it to anyone but when my husband had a bleed on the brain four years ago at the age of 41 it was almost certainly caused by the cocaine he had secretly been doing most weekends,he was fit and healthy before,and has recovered well but our lives have changed completely, he had to leave his well paid job as gets terrible headaches when on a computer too much and now has a job paying half what he used to earn, and has permanent tinnitus which affects his sleep etc.He couldn’t drive for six months after,and had to take endless tablets and go to specialists,please don’t risk your health,he used to just have the odd bit at the weekend too!

poppy811

Iamouttheotherside said:

So now we start having the come down .... "pity me, pity me".  Grow up, grow a pair, dust yourself off and admit you've ducked up instead of trying to gain sympathy, because I suspect you won't get much from this board.

Admit you have an addictive personality, drugs, work, spreadsheets, figures, thats what you need to manage.   

Your business profits are soaring yet you are getting no benefit from it - ridiculous, what's the point?   Withdraw some money from your business, pay yourself some well earned dividends and pay your debts off, stop thinking you have to grow the business and by doing that it means you can't take a penny out of it!  Thats the debt addiction sorted out.  Reap the benefits of your hard earnings, at present you're not, you're busting your balls and getting nothing in return, you're burning out.

Start getting another addiction, showing your son about life, what is outside of the NG postcode?  Where has he been for holidays? What countries has he seen, to me it seems like Centre Parts and Greece.    You seem to think if you can put the money into private education he will get the life education he needs - wrong!  It is the schools responsibility to educate a curriculum that every child has, but as a parent it is your responsibility to teach them and show them life and to show them how to be a good adult!

Aren't you supposed to be going to Greece in the half term/summer? Start planning that!  You earn the money hire a boat and crew for the day, take your family snorkelling.  Plan some island visits, trips, days out occupy your mind that way.

As for the drugs only you can sort that out, but just remember its your son who will be supporting your wife at your funeral, I am sure it's not a memory you want him to have or maybe the junkie inside doesn't care about that?

There is a big world out there Alt about time you appreciated it and showed it to your son, instead of thinking "a great weekend" is in a pub snorting a line!  Had to laugh at that you sounded like a right down and out, but I bet you felt like a real big man that night.

Only you can do this

Absolutely. Well said

enthusiasticsaver

I am not sure this diary is about someone trying to get on top of their finances any more so will be reporting this to the forum team on the recommendation it is closed. I hope the OP gets the help they need. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. I tried to delete earlier but could only edit. 

Tbh I’m not well at all. I do want to sort my finances and for a time was getting somewhere but I won’t whilst I’m like this, I know that much.