First Steps to Solvency

Sun_Addict

Definitely agree with the other comments, you are something. You’re successful in your business and you’ve got yourself clean which is a major achievement in itself. It might take some time but one day you’ll look back and be proud of what you’ve achieved. We’re all proud of you 👏 

Legs21

Honestly Alt, you and hindsight need to part ways and unfriend each other. 

307 days is a massive achievement. Give yourself a well earned pat on the back. 

stymied

Please read back through your diary @alt80, I’m really worried about you. Not for the drugs or the money, but that you’re heading back down the rabbit hole where you think you’re worth nothing, will never enjoy anything outside work and start struggling to live in the world. It’s been this way since the dress incident and Ukraine.

As far as I remember the things that helped in the past have been forcing yourself to get back for dog walk & bedtime, cooking at least once a week especially Greek food, having a day out with your boy, spa night, short term plans - the team on here can help with ideas.

Damn, I wish I would take my own advice!

woahsoah

alt80 said:

 don’t want to buy anything for myself anymore life been about me for long enough tbh I know I don’t deserve nice things personally not about self esteem or anything just the truth. I have been actually thinking about getting rid of any personal possessions with value and getting rid of my car which as everyone on here is aware costs a lot of money. Not even about paying my debts off really that just ticks away - the extra money not being paid out would be better being kept in my business, reinvested and away from me. 

I would have said this is a healthy attitude until I read the "I don't deserve nice things". You absolutely do, just at the same time not killing yourself with debt.

Getting rid of the car is a big deal. I just bought a 20k 4wd car (not a duster) that you probably wouldn't be seen dead in.. what are you going to drive instead?

Have you thought about some more exciting hobbies? Gardening is stretching my definition of a hobby... As a kid I used to do go karting every few weeks. I'm sure there are some tracks around Notts, perhaps your kid would be into it and ultimately could have your own little team, kit, business sponsor.

I can understand how a life of work and then agonising over your debt spreadsheets is monotonous. Live a little? Without spanking 10k in John Lewis on "stuff". Trust me, I've pssed far more up the wall than you have (I'd be surprised if it wasn't 1m+) but when I met my wife I learned it wasn't bringing me any happiness. I have some awesome stories but ROI, pretty rubbish. What's done is done. Neither you or myself are going hungry or can't heat our homes. You do exist as more than just a provider, go and find something you enjoy.

307! Almost a year. Well done!

alt80

44 weeks today determined I will get to the year and beyond. Better for my family and business so I am pleased where I am with that. 

@woahsoah ha my wife took him karting the other day. By all accounts he loved it. She does a lot with him in the school holidays so he doesn’t miss out. 

Regarding the car if it goes I won’t replace it we have the electric car. I’m not enjoying driving anymore tbh my wife drives all the time pretty much now unless she’s tired or wants a drink and when I need it for work she can wait a few hours. She likes the car but the electric one is fine too. Factoring in what I’ll spend on it over the next few years it’s a lot of money that could be kept in my business / reinvested / whatever not really thought too much about where to put the money tbf. 

alt80

@stymied responded to your post this morning and deleted as probably sounded suicidal or something which I’m not but tbf can’t say I do want to live in the world, completely !!!!!! bored of it tbh. I don’t even get a buzz from making money anymore biggest irony when business is better than it’s even been lol. 

poppy811

Please divert your energies into things that have a genuine interest for you and maybe consider talking to your GP. I am really worried about your mental health, feel you need professional help. This will not being admitting failure given how far you have come just support along your recovery

Amber1980

I agree that it sounds like you are slipping (have slipped) into depression,when you say you are bored and no longer interested in the things that used to give you a buzz,it would be amazing if you didn’t have some issues after everything you have been through!
When I gave up drinking etc and started to get on top of life again I was surprised to find about a year down the line I felt worse than ever, I can only think that for me I had to suddenly sit with my problems and issues and anxieties rather than drink and partying them away.
For me the problems had of course always been there and now I’m nearly six years sober and have to really keep on top of my mental health,early nights,quiet time alone,not working like I used to although I could do with the money, and over the years I guess I have started to learn how to say no and to try and prioritise myself before anyone else,it doesn’t come naturally to me at all,but without our physical and mental health being as good as can be nothing else will ever be right.
Please consider having a chat with your gp,you don’t deserve to be feeling like this x

purplelady99

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling. You are still going through a massive reset in terms of your lifestyle changes so it’s not surprising you feel fed up. You have made huge changes to how you were living before and it’s a massive adjustment to come to terms with even though it’s the right thing to do and you’ll be much better off for it - both physically, mentally and financially. As Amber1980 has said you are having to learn to use your own internal resources to help you through the difficult times rather than the crutch of drugs or alcohol and you are doing this even if some days it might feel hard to do which is a really positive achievement. 

Could you book a holiday back to your parents in Greece sometime soon? You sounded so happy when you had your holiday there it might be just what you need to lift your mood. I know it might not be in the budget but if it helps you get out of the doldrums it will be worth it. If you’re feeling more than fed up it might be a good idea to see the GP in case you’re slipping into depression. 

poppy811

Are you going to get your wife to pick you up early to take you and your son out for tea?  I think you said the early Friday finish helped, please try.