First Steps to Solvency

SanguineGina

Hi alt

Long time since I've posted/read your diary but absolutely thrilled for you and your family that you have kept your recovery.  It might not always feel like it on those days when the glums strike re other life dissatisfactions, but your recovery is absolutely and always will be right up there on best things you have chosen to do.

mark55man

HI @alt80 - nothing profound to say, just delighted that you are still keeping on top of stuff, even if it feels like the skin of your teeth. I bet if push came to shove you would be able to draw on much more resilience/inner strength than you had last year. 

That's what I hate the most about modern Britain everything is stretched to the bone, and optimised for the "things go right" scenario and there is no slack for "things to go wrong", and people the wrong side of the line getting hurt.   But you have got so much more in reserve than before so hang tough when it rough and enjoy yourself when you can. 

warby68

I haven't much new to say either but it does give me a lot of pleasure that one young family is sticking together and growing well at the moment.

alt80

Thanks all I am struggling to deal with things at the moment and tbh my finances seem the last of my worries all ticking along nicely. I am not finding staying in recovery easy but am up to day 307 tomorrow. Shouldn’t be up at this time but didn’t manage to get to sleep tonight so been working which isn’t exactly healthy either. Tbh my biggest difficulty is realising I’m nothing tried my entire life to be someone now just trying to live for my family, give them the best life I can and this is selfish but it’s not easy for me.

At least I’ve stopped spending money on myself and gifts, every cloud ha.

Humdinger1

@alt80 you are not nothing.  You are doing brilliantly though it doesn't feel like it: nearly a year and look how well your wife and son are doing. Please call the pros as they will have seen this many times.  Your lack.of self-esteem doesn't reflect reality. Keep going love Humdinger xx 

poppy811

I am sure I am not alone in really admiring the way you have managed your recovery and your honesty. You have a home, a wife and son and your own business. Enjoy your success and please get help in building your self esteem.  

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Thanks all I am struggling to deal with things at the moment and tbh my finances seem the last of my worries all ticking along nicely. I am not finding staying in recovery easy but am up to day 307 tomorrow. Shouldn’t be up at this time but didn’t manage to get to sleep tonight so been working which isn’t exactly healthy either. Tbh my biggest difficulty is realising I’m nothing tried my entire life to be someone now just trying to live for my family, give them the best life I can and this is selfish but it’s not easy for me.

At least I’ve stopped spending money on myself and gifts, every cloud ha.

You are someone Alt. Everyone is someone.

There is nothing selfish about wanting to give your family the best life that you can. But giving them the best doesn't have to be monetary and doesn't have to be gifts.

Chin up. Keep working with the pro's and you will battle through this hard patch. Better days are ahead for you all. Just keep believing that.

alt80

Hard to see it tbh still dealing with the pros but can def lead a horse to water and that. At least I’m no longer hurting my family. Ought to leave the office and head home just struggling to leave have been for a while. I’m aware it’s part of my problems and in the past has led to spending excessively and not helped my addiction. Not going down those roads again.

In a bit of an odd head space with personal money. I don’t want to buy anything for myself anymore life been about me for long enough tbh I know I don’t deserve nice things personally not about self esteem or anything just the truth. I have been actually thinking about getting rid of any personal possessions with value and getting rid of my car which as everyone on here is aware costs a lot of money. Not even about paying my debts off really that just ticks away - the extra money not being paid out would be better being kept in my business, reinvested and away from me. 

strawb_shortcake

Hi Alt, not posted for awhile  but fab news on the 307 days. 

You are something, you've created two successful businesses and keep people employed. You care deeply about your family, staff and tenants, this is something to be really proud of. 

With the material possessions, I think most people come to a point in their lives when they realise the possessions are not the important thing to have, and begin to place more emphasis on experiences and time. 
You just have the old you sat on your shoulder making you doubt taking enjoyment from these non material things.

Having read most of your diary the stand out parts of your past year or so here has been those precious moments with your Son and loved ones, not the ones where you've told us about fancy watches and jackets.

Willowtree222

You’re certainly in a different head space. In the beginning you would never have contemplated getting rid of the RR. 

Congrats on 307. That year date is absolutely on the horizon. 

I hope you find some peace soon Alt. I wish you could see how others see the change in you.