First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

i think the comment you made about looking up old school mate on social media being 100% a waste of time says a lot. Anything that interests you and takes you away from work, going through figures etc is not a waste of time. It is an interest (even if fleeting_) away from the usual.  You need to have more distractions in your life to stop the obseessive behaviours. It is part of relaxing.

mark55man

Been a roller coaster year, but you seem to have come up as often as you have gone down - which is coincidentally the first rule of being a submariner.  

Unlike Prince Andrew who had a really up and DOWN year, but that is one of the perils of being the Duke of York

strawb_shortcake

ladyholly said:

i think the comment you made about looking up old school mate on social media being 100% a waste of time says a lot. Anything that interests you and takes you away from work, going through figures etc is not a waste of time. It is an interest (even if fleeting_) away from the usual.  You need to have more distractions in your life to stop the obseessive behaviours. It is part of relaxing.

That's very true, I met a lady when running that told me her story. She had been addicted to drink and drugs for a long time and as part of her eventual recovery she took up exercise, but the exercise replaced the other addictions. 

She had to admit and accept that she had an addictive personality and her only way of combating it and moving on was filling her life with different interests and hobbies so that she didn't have time to be fixated on any one thing. 

On the positive side, she does now have an enjoyable and fulfilling life and has helped others in so many different ways 

alt80

Day 210 / 30 weeks

Had a Christmas overnight spa stay which was a surprise from my in-laws, wife knew but decided to keep it a secret from me so still not finished the finances haha. Tbh I don't care, it gets done before I go back to work 100%. Kept to my word about sticking to being alcohol free and have NYE planned. Just staying home with my sparkling tea; laugh all you like but tbh I'm looking forward to it just me, wife and son. Going to watch a few films and play a couple of board / video games. I'm still not 100% well but am a fair bit better. 

@warby68 ha been thinking about the hibernation thing and tbh I always struggle at this time of year so I think you could be right about that.

Actually looking forward to tomorrow's and Saturday's planned days on the sofas with a few films, I'm getting old lol. 

Thank you, another 12m consolidation was my plan and with my thinking head on still is. I'm really struggling to cope with stress, some not business related, a lot is related to recovery / family tbh being good enough for them. That's when I start to question the plan but tbh I'm exhausted and have been making myself ill. My wife has asked me to work school hours during January told her it doesn't always work like that but idk think she has a point to not do what I was doing over December - not just work I need to accept things, move on and try to make some kind of peace with myself or I am going to not just relapse on work/ mental health etc one day I'll just say !!!!!! it and I do mean it when I say I sincerely hope I have the strength and strength to seek help when things are hard to never use again. My approach to growth/ PG came up with the pros once and tbh I'm almost afraid of the security it will bring, as you say it would bring me much more in step with common view of financial strength, not driven by my ego. When I'm in a fairly ok place mindset wise I start to wonder if I can settle enjoy my family/ what I have and lifestyle I can give them still a little voice saying I'm a failure and need more but it's very quiet. Could live with how quiet it is today tbf though.

@lucielle thank you. 100% know where you're coming from re falling ill/ can't stop the noise re work etc. How have you managed to get by it the last few times?


Sorry I've not responded to other replies I'm absolutely whacked and can hardly keep my eyes open so going to bed.

enthusiasticsaver

30 weeks is incredible.  I thought of you today as have been reading the autobiography of Elton John and he talks of his battles with cocaine and so much of  what he says is what you have been saying about the spending sprees, the awful decisions, the feeling awful and guilt trips.  

Enjoy your quiet NYE.  We have family over for a meal and maybe a  few games but whether we last out until midnight who knows. Can't wait to see the end of 2021 tbh.  After my husbands heart condition earlier on this year and my mum had a stroke yesterday and my sister and her partner have Covid so keep wondering what is next.  We have had three family deaths this year too although they were all elderly.  

Cherryfudge

30 weeks is just wow. I'm hugely impressed, not only with the sheer stamina that's taken but also with your emerging mindset that shows your strength of character.

The spa must have been a nice surprise, and well timed. I wonder whether the long-term demands on yourself mean a long, slow rise out of exhaustion? There are layers of damage to heal and work through, and your default is to throw yourself into work because it's a safe space and it's how you define yourself, so you're still wearing yourself out even if not damaging yourself with drugs. However - progress! You have come a very long way.

mark55man said:

Been a roller coaster year, but you seem to have come up as often as you have gone down - which is coincidentally the first rule of being a submariner.  

Unlike Prince Andrew who had a really up and DOWN year, but that is one of the perils of being the Duke of York

Those are both clever and funny

@enthusiasticsaver, I'm so sorry to hear your family has so much to cope with at the moment. The new year has to bring better things.

ladyholly

enthusiasticsaver said:

Enjoy your quiet NYE.  We have family over for a meal and maybe a  few games but whether we last out until midnight who knows. Can't wait to see the end of 2021 tbh.  After my husbands heart condition earlier on this year and my mum had a stroke yesterday and my sister and her partner have Covid so keep wondering what is next.  We have had three family deaths this year too although they were all elderly.  

So sorry to hear of your family troubles. I hope your Mum is ok'ish after the stroke. My best wishes to you and your family after a horrid year and wishing you a better 2022.

ladyholly

alt80 said:

Day 210 / 30 weeks

What an incredible acheivement. This time last year I would never have thought you could get to that. You have improved your life and your family life so much this your you should be really proud of yourself.

RelievedSheff

Enjoy your quiet new years eve. It will be a quiet one for us as well and I very much doubt we will make it to midnight 🤣🤣🤣

lucielle

I actually think this year nearly broke us (OH included). The 4am starts at busy periods we’re horrific but we got through. I feel like a switch flipped and I just couldn’t, didn’t want anything to do with work. I have my work laptop with me and usually it would be out and I’d be getting twitchy about doing things but it just hasn’t happened. Hopefully you’ll find your happy medium 
L