First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Your periods of no sleep and poor mental health seem to occur when you are getting towards a change in routine e.g. holiday/ Christmas etc. In the next year perhaps see if you can find coping strategies for dealing with these before they start to play tricks on your mind. As you start to realise they are happy times I am sure the negative thoughts will lessen. Remember you are still learning to live a drug free life, it takes time and perseverance but you will get there.

alt80

Day 207

Woke up with an appetite today haha not feeling great but am a bit better so not looking to spend the day in bed ha. I did start journaling yesterday - started it at rehab and carried on for a bit but nothing recently apart from I suppose this is a bit of a journal the other is a bit more focused and actually written with pen and paper which I find better than computer or even iPad and Apple Pencil - my Mrs thinks it’s crazy but it is what it is. Found an article about someone who writes down the best thing from the day each night before sleeping, managed to do it last night so going to give that a go. Used to think a lot of this stuff was just really cheesy and I appreciate it is ha but better doing some things that are a bit cheesy than being where I was in life lol. 

One of my planned tasks for today is to finish most of my year review with the personal finances. I have the data so should be too difficult but if it spills into tomorrow that’s ok as I am going to try to get out for some exercise with family and spend some time with son so might not post up anything later re finances. Task before I open the office back up is to review where I am in the 5 year and adjust for 2022. Wife knows what we’ve got to do lol she thinks working to the plan is easier now she understands the plan - I’ve spent quite a lot of time going through it with her and now she trusts me that I’m not going to do it for five minutes and leave her with the plan whilst I do as I wish which is fair enough. 

@SingleSue thank you. Another negative LFT, now the 4th one and family negative again. I don’t think it was covid tbh but going to test for another 3/4 days anyway. 

£250 budget for Christmas is impressive on the frugality scale mate, I genuinely don’t know how you’ve done it but well done and thank you actually thinking to myself there is no ‘target’ or ‘correct outlay’ is positive. The budget went slightly under planned so as you say keeps me on track for where I want things to be. I don’t see this as a ‘debt free’ journey as I very much doubt in the future I will live a debt free lifestyle so would feel a bit of a fraud when I have a lot of debt elsewhere and tbf will always have to use debt on the business side and until it’s free from the PGs, it is still ‘my’ debt as much as it is a company’s iyswiacf. This is about ‘stupid debt free’ lifestyle rather than an entirely ‘debt free’ one and I’m ok with admitting that tbh I don’t see ‘debt’ as ‘bad’, what I do see is ‘bad’ is overspending and generally just !!!!!! yourself.

@warby68 that really helped tbh Christmas has historically been a massive spending binge and an excuse for me and my wife. I think with my head and it’s not as ‘frugal’ as I had built up. I have quite a few staff and tenants that it would probably be quite a lot of money for. It’s helped me to see that so thank you. The £100 aside once I’m no longer juggling the credit cards I will start to do that, I like it and will make me think once it’s gone it’s gone when I’m not focused on paying debt and getting to my balloon payment. I know it’s a while off but it’s good to be able to think how I am going to structure my personal finances when I am no longer in debt - I have not been in that position in my adult life and there’s lots of suggestions which I think work really well on here just when you are in a position of not being in debt in the first place - I appreciate most people’s approach on here is to not use credit throughout their payoff time and to effectively cut ties with the credit and pay the cards after their own living expenses have been paid. Personally I don’t get that but each to their own. 

Like the family secret Santa, might have to suggest that thanks. 

I definitely hope they are different 2nd time around. Bit embarrassing to be my age and this stuff being ‘firsts’ lol but are where we are haha. 

alt80

@ladyholly 100% I am starting to identify the triggers just seems impossible to get to properly using the techniques but been there with other things and I’m slowly getting better. Said it before I’m just getting started.

SingleSue

alt80 said:

Day 207


@SingleSue thank you. Another negative LFT, now the 4th one and family negative again. I don’t think it was covid tbh but going to test for another 3/4 days anyway. 

£250 budget for Christmas is impressive on the frugality scale mate, I genuinely don’t know how you’ve done it but well done and thank you actually thinking to myself there is no ‘target’ or ‘correct outlay’ is positive. The budget went slightly under planned so as you say keeps me on track for where I want things to be. I don’t see this as a ‘debt free’ journey as I very much doubt in the future I will live a debt free lifestyle so would feel a bit of a fraud when I have a lot of debt elsewhere and tbf will always have to use debt on the business side and until it’s free from the PGs, it is still ‘my’ debt as much as it is a company’s iyswiacf. This is about ‘stupid debt free’ lifestyle rather than an entirely ‘debt free’ one and I’m ok with admitting that tbh I don’t see ‘debt’ as ‘bad’, what I do see is ‘bad’ is overspending and generally just !!!!!! yourself.

I didn't quite know what to call it to be honest as your business etc requires the use of credit and most people have some credit card 'debt' without it being an actual debt and I didn't want to belittle the achievements you have made which have been really quite spectacular. Your Christmas spend is really quite brilliant compared to previous years and a massive step forward and relative to incomes, I'm the one who has overspent.

As for my Christmas budget - I buy for 6 nieces and nephews plus two have partners, my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband, my mum and my ex mother in law plus my three boys. The nieces, nephews, their partners, my siblings and their partners and my ex mother in law have an absolute maximum budget of £5 per person, the boys have a maximum budget of £40 each and my mum is about £20. This year I was quite lucky in that I managed to find a fair few items well under budget amounts..

I don't have any credit cards (by choice - I inhabit the DFW boards to pick up tips to make my money go further as I am on a very low income), so any outlay has to be out of my weekly income and as that is pants, I start the process of buying for Christmas after middle son's birthday in October, so plenty of time to be searching out the bargains that have a bit of thought behind them.

We buy no alcohol for Christmas, I can't drink because I have to drive and the same with youngest and if anyone else wants to drink, they can either bring their own or see what comes in their Christmas sacks. We buy a couple of bottles of Shloer for toasts and this year for food, I got a yellow sticker joint of pork loin (£6 for a massive piece), a yellow sticker beef top rump (£5) and a frozen turkey boneless crown from Iceland for £16. Tesco had veggies for 19p a pack, I make my own stuffing (with home grown sage). My guilty pleasure came from spending far too much at the local butchers for bacon and chipolatas to make the pigs in blankets and to dress the cheap a*se turkey but they were oh so nice and worth every penny.

The present budget amounts haven't really changed all that much from my higher income days but the food budget certainly has, even two years ago, everything was from the local butcher and greengrocer but that has unfortunately become unaffordable and cutbacks/choices have had to be made. Dad also used to pay half for the food which made it more affordable but he passed away just before Christmas 2020 and even though mum said she would help and believes she has, she hasn't (her memory is becoming a worry to be honest) but I don't want to upset her by letting her know she has forgotten. Things have not been helped by no contribution towards the food from my brother and his little unit who also were part of the celebrations, they keep calling me the rich one as I don't 'need' to borrow money and thus as they are the poor ones, they don't need to.....they get three times as much as me in a week as I do in a month but then they do have a few expensive habits to support.

The £250 spend, although tiny for most (and is in fact a little embarrassing for me as it is so scrooge like), is equal to just over two weeks income (almost 3 weeks of furlough amount that I had to live on for the first 5 months of this year) but I can't afford to get into debt for Christmas, things are so tight the rest of the year just paying essential bills, I would never be able to pay it back.

getmore4less

You cut your cloth.

Not big into Xmas so not even sure where we came in on stuff just for xmas.
don't do the presents thing,  provided the booze and some extras as we were guests elsewhere probably £50 as we splashed out on better wine than normal, any beer was what would get drunk anyway on any other long day in.

We have some snacky stuff left which will count as normal food as we would eat that anyway just full price not Yellow label.

Hoping for some more bargains this week, if lucky will get a nice bit of beef for NY.

Next year if travel more normal will be going away and Xmas premium will probably cost...

SingleSue

getmore4less said:

You cut your cloth.

Not big into Xmas so not even sure where we came in on stuff just for xmas.
don't do the presents thing,  provided the booze and some extras as we were guests elsewhere probably £50 as we splashed out on better wine than normal, any beer was what would get drunk anyway on any other long day in.

We have some snacky stuff left which will count as normal food as we would eat that anyway just full price not Yellow label.

Hoping for some more bargains this week, if lucky will get a nice bit of beef for NY.

Next year if travel more normal will be going away and Xmas premium will probably cost...

So true.

I rarely drink, not for holier than thou reasons but because it became such a pain in the bum trying to dodge when I might be called upon to drive in an emergency that it was just easier not to have a drink. My last alcoholic drink was at the beginning of July but I do plan to have a drink (or multiple of glasses) for NYE.

Mum wants to book for a restaurant next Christmas, in fact every Christmas for the last 10 years it has been said we will go out to a restaurant for Christmas day but each year, we go eek at how much they charge compared to how much it costs to do it ourselves. To be honest, after this year and the sister in law from hell, I am very much tempted to say to hell with the overall cost and do it next year - personally it will be cheaper as I will only have to pay for myself rather than pay for everyone else's food as it turned out this year and it will certainly be a lot less painful health wise too.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you and your wife have done well this year and so glad your wife is being supportive but shame you are unwell.  No shame in being emotional.  You have been through a lot but you have stuck to the plan and I am sure in the not too distant future you will be credit card free and have a plan for the finances in the future.  As it is under control now that is the main thing and you can start thinking longer term than just paying off by the end of every deal period. 

For reference we do not have debt and don't need to be frugal for Christmas but we stick to £200 for the grandchildrens presents and £100 for each adult for presents so £900 in total then we give £500 each to both our DDs as cash gifts. We don't host now as our DD and SIL prefer to stay home as the children then have their toys and easier with the dog.  As a family we do not consume loads of alcohol or masses of food beyond the normal so less than £2k for Christmas which is what I budget. 

alt80

Weather been !!!!!! today but still managed to get out for a decent walk, glad I'm well enough too. Not quite there yet but a lot better than I was. No spends, ate at home which we'd have never done before and not even bothered with coffee, just waited until we got home. 

I haven't got around to finalising the year unfortunately. When I planned to do it we went to grandparents and have been finishing off the Defender build so there's my excuse ha I need to get round to it this week sure I will but made the conscious decision to park it for today rather than start this evening. Just write this and go to bed get another early one.

@SingleSue thank you for your post, you've done amazingly well and don't need to be embarrassed and nor are you being scrooge like, you spent what you felt you could without running yourself into debt and that is to be commended, is ultimately better for you and your too. To live on such a low income must be very challenging - I have some tenants in similar type positions always send a little hamper at Christmas and take the attitude they pay my mortgages and to an extend contribute towards funding my lifestyle always been nice to give something back but I've also been very guilty of not paying mind to how those much worse off than me live and acknowledging I do have a high income compared to most of the population, just not a !!!!!! you income so I still need to think too come to conclusion anyone with their thinking head on needs to tbh even people with a much higher income than I have, it's just !!!!!! stupid to not. 

Re going out for Christmas Day - I wouldn't bother these places will be packed and a lot of staff working would rather be with their families. Have Christmas lunch at home and book somewhere twice as good for a meal in the summer for your family then you've got a nice Christmas meal for lunch that day and something to look forward too later on the in the year, a real treat. 

@getmore4less do you know what, I reckon a year ago I've have !!!!!! kicked off had you said you cut your cloth. Idk I possibly did but this year I'm nodding along. The stuff that goes on in my head about my income not been good enough in one respect it kills me, starts the guilt etc as I do know there are people who'd do a lot for what I have rn.

You're !!!!!! disappointed about that beef still aren't you mate lol? I'm going to bet all the beef has a really long date and you're going to have to begrudgingly put your hand in your pocket. 

Little bit surprised you don't buy your kids Christmas presents though tbf. 

Iirc you used to go skiing at Christmas pre-Covid? We are considering going to see my parents in Greece possibly next year but maybe year after. 

@enthusiasticsaver 100%, thanks. The real decision is do I sign up for another round of 0% to reach the balloon for the Range Rover or do I effectively move away from the 0% jig and loan the rest at the point it is due from my company and pay it back to the company. There will be the majority ready to pay to Land Rover due in divis but I'm not sure rn what to do about the rest also going to potentially limit an option on a unit if a few came up at once etc so it's a difficult one. Although strategy for RR payoff is to keep the money in the business until the last minute then pay a big divi and if I see good deals on units I'll be picking them up if there's money that can be used so could be a refinance with Land Rover FS / part ex on an upcoming electric one or a bigger Mercedes been impressed with that car so far. Not told my Mrs but they are bringing an electric G-Wagen out lol / loading the whole lot on 0% / all sorts of plan a/b/c/d/e/f etc etc etc I love a !!!!!! mortgage for an income producing unit still, can't help myself in that regard lol so still on my mind. Anyhow rn still on plan a which is pay it off- market rn is !!!!!! bonkers if anything time to be selling a couple rather than buying and who knows what is round the corner not sure going to stay like this too much longer idk. Half the reason I love this game, it's never dull and if some part doing well, another part area for growth and another part have to wait until... anyway I'm only buying if the deal stacks likewise selling but it's a weird balance between personal/ business/ lifestyle/ needs and wants etc etc  think I still need to have a life in some respects tbf. First normal working day had it not been stand in bank hol off work and I can't keep my head out of property haha fml.

Also thank you for the insight re Christmas spending.

RelievedSheff

I  wouldn't worry too much about the finances ove the Christmas break. They are what they are. Spend that time with your family instead. That it was the break from work is for.

getmore4less

No kids and the sisters kids are doing better at their age than I was.
More a get things when you need/want them rather than fixed days in the year person.

The skiing days are long gone, just not fit enough now.
Also we have gone off cold holidays so look to warmer options.

I still want to go back to Austria where I did the ski thing for 15years in a row, it will be a  summer or maybe when they have an event late winter.

Starting to look at warm options for Jan-Feb in case covid settles down, was happy early Dec with how Greece and Italy had green pass in place might try Spain or Canaries for a land stay if open

Got another go for some beef this week, they started the discounts yesterday to shift it just 30% so far.
Might have to go with 50% off, chances of the usual ~66% not looking good, still 4 days.
We will pop in every day as part of our outside time.