First Steps to Solvency

alt80

My Mrs has just reminded me the last present wasn’t added - Lego Land Rover Defender she’s half built with him last night when I was asleep. So total actually £1.3k anyway it’s been a cheap Christmas for us and I was a bit tight with son - there’s a light for this Lego defender and I’ve told him if he wants it he can spend his own money on it makes me laugh tbf he !!!!!! loves having money of his own £10 pocket money a week. He’s no concept of credit so I’ve told him really £5 can be spent per week and £5 should be saved towards some of these ‘big’ things he wants to buy. No !!!!!! chance he’ll work to top it up though idk. 

warby68

Lazy morning for me so far, mainly checking in with people who I didn't get a chance to yesterday.

So lovely to read about your Christmas, the morning in particular - I loved those mornings, for some it was me up first waiting for boys to wake up. I still do the full stocking plus presents even though they're grown. What's lovely is they are putting thought into the gifts they buy now as well. 

Sorry you don't feel well. I wouldn't be surprised if it was related to stress - you've struggled the last week. Come down from that and your body lets you know it isn't happy.

Sounds like family were all behind you yesterday too. What a good Christmas. 

The spends are on a par with ours overall if that helps and we were hosting too. 

theoretica

So glad you had a good Christmas!

I have always done what you say about leaving work (and school, done it most of my life) and coming down with something - I remember I used to get fed up the number of half term holidays that I would get a cold for - think there is something in my body that unconsciously says it is OK I can stop now.

getmore4less

Sorry to here you are struggling.

Too many think it's just a sniff and don't bother testing.

They key is changes  they need to be. checked.

The LFT might not catch it early but do if you are getting infectious.

We should all test if we deveate from our regular routine/people before any next encounters.

I agree with the run up has been very stressful sleep etc  and you exhibit these symptoms regularly so probably not covid but still best to be sure.

Son is the one that needs to be testing they can carry and be infectious without symptoms.

Pretty horrible weather  here we got out of the house for a bit, now thinking we should have stayed in and out some rubbish TV on.

As we went somewhere else for Xmas are not on turkey sandwiches today which is a positive.

RelievedSheff

getmore4less said:

Sorry to here you are struggling.

Too many think it's just a sniff and don't bother testing.

They key is changes  they need to be. checked.

The LFT might not catch it early but do if you are getting infectious.

We should all test if we deveate from our regular routine/people before any next encounters.

I agree with the run up has been very stressful sleep etc  and you exhibit these symptoms regularly so probably not covid but still best to be sure.

Son is the one that needs to be testing they can carry and be infectious without symptoms.

Pretty horrible weather  here we got out of the house for a bit, now thinking we should have stayed in and out some rubbish TV on.

As we went somewhere else for Xmas are not on turkey sandwiches today which is a positive.

🤣🤣🤣

We are loving our Christmas leftovers. Got enough left for the obligatory turkey curry tomorrow. 😁

alt80

Today not been productive at all generally just been in and out of bed, ate a little bit of food and slept a lot. Will be going back to bed in a minute, feel a bit better so hoping tomorrow is a bit better and will be able to get out a little more. Realised how badly stressed I've been definitely relapsed on the mental health side I was back to some !!!!!! stupid compulsive patterns and terrible sleep. Didn't touch any kind of substance and did manage to white knuckle through that but people on here/ pros/ wife etc are right I need to get to the point of not getting into a pattern of negative thinking/ stupid work going through to do lists/ finances etc just to try to escape where my head is at. I'm not going to pretend otherwise I have really struggled in the lead up to big events. Ultimately have the not good enough/ failure type thoughts and I've said it before when thinking more clearly when I hate myself I'm not really a good person to be around, don't sleep and stress levels are !!!!!! terrible. Today I've mainly not touched devices just had quiet time half sleeping/ half awake hard to describe but my brain doesn't feel like it's going to explode. Similar sort of feeling I had when I was in the rehab tbh. 

No spends/ shopping or anything else today Mrs took dog and boy out for a big walk came home and we did talk about sales etc for about 5 mins she said it all just seems the same and waste of energy really. Asked her if she's disappointed with me rn and Christmas gift etc. she said not but wants me not to fall ill for next year lol hear her there ha. 

@getmore4less Xmas eve - my guess re meat being reduced in price the beef joints didn't have the 'festive' packaging but the turkeys did lol? 

I used to have massive problems with maintaining an 'image' I'll admit that mate, I think back to the years and !!!!!! years I've wasted on trying to be the image in my head fml pros etc have made me realise I wanted to look 'successful' try to make myself believe I am 'successful'. I know, pathetic but was the mindset I had for many years. Still do have it to an extent. It's !!!!!! horrible seeing yourself as worthless and empty trying to always get to the next level in the hope that's the time you will not feel absolutely worthless. Lot of the reason I was where I was I know what the issues are that it comes back to now and I know the next step is being able to shelve the whole lot and learn to find some sort of personal kindness. Nothing quite worked so far.

Had to smile re BIL ha would make my life a bit cheaper lol. 

I don't think I've been able to face the measured by how you behave as a person type stuff mainly because my behaviour as a person certainly has been pretty !!!!!! !!!!!!.

Wife already organising an afternoon out over Feb half term with son's mate and his parents. 

alt80

@katsu similar to Rosberg exit from F1, turned down an amazing offer for family time. Idk.

Have to admit I find some articles hard to read when they start describing the 'more' aspects it's something I've always struggled with I couldn't tell you what is 'enough' or where is 'enough' for me and tbh I wonder if it's all just a bit sad not been kind to me thinking in that way. 

@AntoMac thank you. I am very grateful to people on here who've helped me to think about the direction I was heading in life. 

alt80

@warby68 I've had a complete lazy day/ evening/ night mate so lazy morning only you've done well.

I really hope my son grows up to be like the boys you describe generally they sound an absolute credit to you. 

I did have a really nice Christmas emotional one ha but some really nice memories, not sure I'll be up before my son though next year haha. 

Really helps to hear you spent a similar amount actually - I've spent the whole of December with some !!!!!! horrible really negative thoughts over what I've spent on Christmas not good enough etc. Tbh I actually wish I'd wrote on here what I'd spent before might have been a little more reassured. I considered it a few times but felt so awful about it, some really bad skewed thoughts looking at it with hindsight. I deleted any mention of it before posting with where my head was. 

@theoretica that's exactly what I think happens to me also tbh.

@getmore4less I'm so !!!!!! paranoid it is covid and the tests aren't right and may have passed it on but tbf probably is the absolute state I got myself into on the lead up to it, think back and it's embarrassing really.

We have tested son, he is unfortunately used to it now. 

Not been a great day here from what I've seen of it either but the leftover meat selection hasn't been that bad not onto the turkey curry though @RelievedSheff lol

SingleSue

alt80 said:

My Mrs has just reminded me the last present wasn’t added - Lego Land Rover Defender she’s half built with him last night when I was asleep. So total actually £1.3k anyway it’s been a cheap Christmas for us and I was a bit tight with son - there’s a light for this Lego defender and I’ve told him if he wants it he can spend his own money on it makes me laugh tbf he !!!!!! loves having money of his own £10 pocket money a week. He’s no concept of credit so I’ve told him really £5 can be spent per week and £5 should be saved towards some of these ‘big’ things he wants to buy. No !!!!!! chance he’ll work to top it up though idk. 

That would be an ultra expensive Christmas for me, my spend was less than £250 and that also included all the food (it was held at my mum's but I purchased and cooked all the food), however, we all do Christmas differently and we all have different budgets/income/affordability levels etc, so there isn't a defined and correct outlay so please don't see this as criticism. The important thing is that you reduced your outlay and had a cheaper for you Christmas that will go a long way in your debt free journey.

Hope you are feeling better soon and the LFT's continue being negative.

warby68

@alt80 Thank you re sons. I don't normally talk about our numbers as I'm not here with debt but thought it might help you a little to have a benchmark that isn't frugal as such. I stick £100 aside every month for Christmas and its there or thereabouts. Food and drink get well stocked as well but TBH that's always followed by a low spend January. Husband and I agree on a limit for each other, £100 this year. We do family secret santa on one side - limit £50 and have about 7 others to buy for plus sons. 

All these 'firsts' are trying for you. You're obviously better once out the other side. I'm sure they will be easier 2nd time around.