First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@Sun_Addict / @warby68 thanks both no plans to go back to day 0 again can tell you that much come too far to go back to that. 

strawb_shortcake

Well done on 200 days, fantastic achievement. 

You may think some of your diary is drivel, but reading Angry_bear comments made me think that your story could really help others. Though it goes beyond MSE's platform. Perhaps in time you'll be able to tell your story to those in the position you were a year ago and help them on their road to recovery.

alt80

@annabanana82 just about to head to bed but thank you. I’ve had a lot of help from professionals and family that tbh many many people wouldn’t have had I’m fortunate in life really. Never am going to have enough or be enough for me I know that but without the help I’ve had which I didn’t deserve from pros and family I’m really not sure I’d be in the position I am rn. I still speak to and call the pros when I need to and I have a lot to live for and a lot to lose. Tbh no one from the recovery group I have had a little involvement in have quite had the level of support I had and still have ongoing from pros/ family etc. 

alt80

Shouldn’t have logged back into here fml has set me off looking at the forecast figures not just personal after an interesting perspective on another diary -  half past midnight and I’m up considering if I’m really making the most of things (financially) rn. Def shouldn’t have switched my brain on at this time of night though ha fml can hear my Mrs now telling me I complain about being whacked but can’t get this type of stuff out of my head at the !!!!!! small hours in the night winds her right off the clock dealing with me. 

Cherryfudge

Delurking to say 200 days is absolutely fantastic, I take my hat off to you.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

Shouldn’t have logged back into here fml has set me off looking at the forecast figures not just personal after an interesting perspective on another diary -  half past midnight and I’m up considering if I’m really making the most of things (financially) rn. Def shouldn’t have switched my brain on at this time of night though ha fml can hear my Mrs now telling me I complain about being whacked but can’t get this type of stuff out of my head at the !!!!!! small hours in the night winds her right off the clock dealing with me. 

This is something you should be doing in your work time not late at night.

It's a sign your work schedule does not have enough time allocated for essential business development tasks.

That drops through to personal planning and time allocated for that planning how you use what you can draw from the business.

This all ties into the background task looking at alternative investment and growth opportunities.

This late night thinking is probably been driven by that old issue of seeking the magic quick fix that does not exist.

200 👍

alt80

Day 201 woken up whacked before the day has even started. Fortunate I can see that it’s one day opportunity to be better tomorrow. Need to work despite having had 4hrs sleep again. Couldn’t switch off yesterday and I know it was stupid working through lunch and late, wasnt any need but wasn’t able to stop myself doing jobs others can do tbh I know it starts the other stuff off- used to work like that all the time apart from spending I had no relief tbh I didn’t use drugs for relief it was to plough through. Wasn’t even productive as I thought I was just !!!!!! wired and burned out. Really regret yesterday fml but I know what happened and hope I have the strength to stop more of the same.

@Cherryfudge thank you hope there’s multiples of 200 days to come!

@getmore4less thanks mate.

I let the work time schedule go well off plan yesterday started the stupid thinking. By all measures I can add work to my !!!!!! long list of addictive behaviours hardest one to deal with too for me. My head this morning is not in a great place what if I don’t make it to the next level thoughts it’s just !!!!!! madness tbh what you get when you know you’re not good enough without some sort of outward sign of ‘success’, becomes next target to hit and one after all a bit empty in a way done enough therapy to know that but I can’t just move on from tying self worth to earning.

getmore4less

I think a big part of the problem is you don't have a clue what your next level is.

That's what the planing and spending proper time allocated to thinking about where the business needs to go and putting  in place the things that need to be done to make it happen.

Even if you start with something very high level and simple like double revenue you have something to focus on.

alt80

Also will be glad when Christmas pressure goes. Wife seems very calm about it all, son looking forward to it but only seems to want silly stuff apart from the phone so no pressure from home to blow the budget but tbh I am putting myself under pressure they deserve more especially after what I’ve put them through. In-laws deserve a lot more money being thrown at their gift but won’t appreciate it. I know I can’t buy my family or anyone else ultimately just want it to be over.

alt80

@getmore4less I do until my head tells me it’s not good enough and I’m just letting everyone down.