First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have the Christmas gifts nailed this year and well done to your wife for sticking to the plan. Maybe 2022 is the time for her to start to expand her friendship circle and either volunteer or find a hobby which brings her in contact with more grounded people. From what you have said something active could be the answer for her. Well done to you for starting to look to the future. I assume you have made a will? Do you have a pension or are you relying on your BTLs for that? 

alt80

@RelievedSheff I hope so both re wife tbf she is a lot happier now I think she realises I’m committed to recovery and 2022 need a good year sometime soon ha. 

@getmore4less thanks mate that all makes a lot of sense; voice of experience lol. Hope one day in the future I can maybe be that voice of experience to someone else who needs it give a bit back. Definitely realised how destructive I have been in the past and tbh just how much I screwed my own head with the self destructive stuff. I was heading in a really stupid direction and tbh knew I didn’t sort my head out I’d !!!!!! the lot. Really !!!!!! horrible place to be I can tell you that just waiting for the house of cards falling down in a way and living impulsively until what I basically saw as inevitable for me. Not like I’ve got a lot in the grand scheme of things but I’ve got more than most and I’ve worked too hard for it to just throw it away. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. I am quite starting to look forward to Christmas but for different reasons. 

Re wife I hope you’re right. 

Re solicitor bit more complex and fair bit of thinking to do but planning future. Not going to say it was easy or is going to be easy going forwards its not something I’m comfortable with getting older but tbh all the will in the world is not going to stop time going by. 

Re pension - don’t have one in the traditional sense really, not of any significance anyway. I have my main business, btl and a commercial premises. Still no plans to retire in the traditional sense but there will be a day I can’t keep up the kind of pace I do rn I am starting to accept that.

getmore4less

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. I am quite starting to look forward to Christmas but for different reasons. 

Re wife I hope you’re right. 

Re solicitor bit more complex and fair bit of thinking to do but planning future. Not going to say it was easy or is going to be easy going forwards its not something I’m comfortable with getting older but tbh all the will in the world is not going to stop time going by. 

Re pension - don’t have one in the traditional sense really, not of any significance anyway. I have my main business, btl and a commercial premises. Still no plans to retire in the traditional sense but there will be a day I can’t keep up the kind of pace I do rn I am starting to accept that.

A "pension" is more a tax efficient wrapper around the assets you need(want) to use to replace earned income

As you have income generating assets that more than meet your needs, and plenty of excess for your wants, much of which is not dependant on your full time attention, although for now I from what you have said some fee earning needs to be in the mix.

That makes the need for that more traditional pension more about tax efficiency and diversity.

The trade off is diverting growth in the core business

Worth exploring all options as some of it is safety net for when things don't quite go to plan. 

One thing that got drummed in to me was you need the exit plan might be long term with succession planning or plans to structure such it become a valuable asses that can be sold on. 

A lot of business just die with the owners and a lot of value is never realised.

 

Sun_Addict

Your wife’s ‘friends’ sound like nasty pieces of work. She’s doing really well they’re just jealous of her and know which buttons to press. 

No point worryingly about getting older, happens to us all if we’re lucky. There’s only one alternative unfortunately. 

You’re sounding in a much better place now. What a long way you’ve come this year.

alt80

Day 195

Another no personal spends day. December is shaping up to be a cheap month haha can hardly believe I’m saying that but not gone mad for Christmas, not gone to London, not gone out beyond wife’s weekend and a couple of meals tbh not even had much in the way of coffee out either.

One of my staff usually buys me a nice bottle of wine for Christmas and asked me today if I’d stopped drinking. Told him I haven’t stopped drinking as such but been 45 days since I’ve had a drink; I am not missing it and it never really did me any favours on occasions it got silly so not really sure when I will drink again if ever. Surprised myself saying it tbh but thought about it later today and that’s how I feel about drinking rn. Just posted this in alcohol thread also so sorry for repeat here for anyone who is on the alcohol free thread. Hardly recognise myself some days recently lol. Also not had the kind of focus I’ve got rn in a very long time if only I could properly get the sleep sorted, I’d be doing really well. I used to think cocaine helped me to focus and concentrate on business when I would ordinarily be struggling to mainly because I was doing cocaine at the weekend and felt utterly !!!!!! when the week rolled around and wondered why I started making some really !!!!!! !!!!!!, overly risky decisions I wouldn’t have ordinarily made and caused a lot of pain even though did work out in the end there were missed opportunities. Not dwelling, just a reminder to myself I am in a much better position going into the new year than I have been for many years.

@getmore4less thanks again mate. I am working with the pros to understand my next steps in to ensure my business is not something that just ‘dies with the owner’ and also to look at my own future - tbh I can’t do this on my own (not the health pros haha just realised people might be thinking why the !!!!!! am I talking to a counsellor about this stuff lol. I’ve enlisted the help of my accountant/ solicitor/ mentor I am still in touch with and also been speaking to my mate’s parents, they have done very well for themselves although didn’t start with nothing. I’ve a lot of time for them but had to be honest why I can’t see their son). I’m slowly starting to deal with moving forwards, have been spending a lot of time working both fee earning work and making some moves towards the next steps.

Pension/ other investments etc are a difficult balance to strike for the reasons you point out: I think it’s something those who have always been employed rather than in business don’t seem to understand tbh. That’s not a criticism, just different ways of living really and different life choices that each have their benefits and pitfalls.

100 it’s about striking the balance you’re talking about; I don’t believe there won’t be tough years ahead, there will be, that’s business and life generally. Unfortunately I couldn’t seriously explore exit/ succession planning apart from it being some kind of way off/ abstract thing in my head before now - the point I should have really started thinking about it and planning my addiction was getting a lot worse and I have had issues with my mental health that I needed to address before getting to this stage. It’s a regret I have not addressed my addiction and worked on improving my mindset and mental outlook before now, that said I cannot change the past just do what’s right now and into the future for my family and also for me. Realise many probably think I don’t deserve to have a family or a nice life but I can’t stay thinking like that anymore because it destroys me and that destroys the lives of those close to me too.

@Sun_Addict thank you, I am starting to get into a better place, move on from the past and get started on the future with the benefit of experience ha. Have to try to be positive about it actually have learned a lot. Lessons most don’t need to learn because they’ve got their head screwed on in the first place you could say lol.

Unfortunately you’re right about some of the girls my wife is friends with.

Had to smile re getting older, I used to think the alternative was preferable at times and now realise just how far !!!!!! gone my head was.  

alt80

I definitely need to sort out my sleep- every intention to go to bed after writing my post on here but didn’t clearly ha. Just seen the time now nearly 3 am and have just sat in my home office for the past three hours !!!!!! about looking through personal and business finances not even angry about it just thinking about what improvements can be made and also generally !!!!!! about making it look a bit nicer on the page. Can’t carry on functioning on so little sleep though Mrs been asleep since 10pm idk how she does it tbh wish I could, wouldn’t be struggling to function in the daytime and start considering ridiculous ways to keep awake on a regular basis. 

Willowtree222

Hopefully you’ll start to develop a better sleep pattern as you keep going. It’s been years of you doing things to avoid sleep so likely it will take awhile for your body to adjust.

peb

Hope you have sleep now.

(Steroids mean I'm awake but not stressing as I'll sleep well at the weekend)

RelievedSheff

The sleep patterns will come with time. Try not to fight them. When you feel tired go to bed and let your body and mond rest.