First Steps to Solvency

capuchin

Have you considered buying her something at auction, as opposed to a retail ring? Something like a Patek Phillippe 19th or early 20th century watch is going to be a far more personal touch, AND you could consider it an investment for if everything goes crazy. Doesn't have to be a watch, but anything with sustainable value. (It could even be a gemstone) Spending £5000+ at a jewelers is like never a good idea at the best of times. It's all horribly artificially inflated.

woahsoah

Don't you get fed up with her saying she could get a footballer, etc? I would of told her to go and do it by now. My wife is 10 years younger than me but far more mature. The BTLs are your future+pension (excluding the business). You really don't get fed up with this? You are a saint!

RelievedSheff

woahsoah said:

Don't you get fed up with her saying she could get a footballer, etc? I would of told her to go and do it by now. My wife is 10 years younger than me but far more mature. The BTLs are your future+pension (excluding the business). You really don't get fed up with this? You are a saint!

I agree. I would have told her long ago to go and find a footballer if that is what she wants. Call her bluff. 

getmore4less

RelievedSheff said:

woahsoah said:

Don't you get fed up with her saying she could get a footballer, etc? I would of told her to go and do it by now. My wife is 10 years younger than me but far more mature. The BTLs are your future+pension (excluding the business). You really don't get fed up with this? You are a saint!

I agree. I would have told her long ago to go and find a footballer if that is what she wants. Call her bluff. 

She would have to move back to her dads to do that and he would be having none of it.

Just more manipulative behaviour.

RelievedSheff

getmore4less said:

RelievedSheff said:

woahsoah said:

Don't you get fed up with her saying she could get a footballer, etc? I would of told her to go and do it by now. My wife is 10 years younger than me but far more mature. The BTLs are your future+pension (excluding the business). You really don't get fed up with this? You are a saint!

I agree. I would have told her long ago to go and find a footballer if that is what she wants. Call her bluff. 

She would have to move back to her dads to do that and he would be having none of it.

Just more manipulative behaviour.

Indeed. But that will only stop when she realises that manipulation doesn't work anymore.

Currently it does. She throws a strop and gets what she wants.

Call her bluff, let her go to her parents house and then she can explain why she is there. Hopefully they can drill some sense into her.

RelievedSheff

Hope everything is OK Alt?

alt80

Day 157

@RelievedSheff we've all been ill - def not the bonfire weekend we planned. Didn't even get any work done Friday, son off school and probably will be tomorrow idk think it'll be another day home for me also I've been absolutely knocked for six. Not spent any money at least fml.

@woahsoah yeah I get really fed up with it constantly being told whatever I do is not good enough effectively. I know there's plenty doing better than I am in life but it's !!!!!! horrible when being constantly reminded of it.

@amanda_p that was the type of thing I had envisaged. 

Purplelady65

Sorry to hear you’ve been ill - hope you’re all feeling better soon. Is it Covid as I know quite a few people who have caught it in the last week or so. 

Re your wife - she knows that commenting on your earnings and footballers presses your buttons. I agree with others it’s manipulative behaviour - it’s mean as she’s exploiting your vulnerabilities to make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe suggest that as she thinks it’s so easy to bring in money that you stay at home for a while to look after your son. This will free her up to go out and bring in the earnings to the level she would like them to be. From what you’ve said you agree with her when she says you need to bring in more money. I think you need to change how you respond to these regular barbed comments from your wife as it’s been an ongoing  theme since you started this diary and it’s been going on a long time now. It’s not good to be put down like this. Maybe ask the pros for some tips on a suitable response. 

woahsoah

Mate. You're are doing great, there is no denying that. There will always be people who earn more. If you one day sell that business you'll be rolling in it.

You don't deserve to be told what you're doing isn't good enough, especially from someone who doesn't contribute financially. I can't comment on your relationship as you have your own dynamic but for me it wouldn't fly. I wanted to highlight that not spending 25k on a ring or whatever doesn't make you a bad husband. She wants to force a sale of a property? or 25k more debt? Come on.. I don't know where you go from here. Would she consider some kind of relationship counselling? (or just counselling).

I'm just some random bloke commenting on your life so please don't take anything like this as qualified advice. It's only an outside perspective which I hope hasn't offended you.

enthusiasticsaver

I hope you feel better soon.