First Steps to Solvency

warby68

@alt80

Glad you avoid the phone calls but you could really do without the extra stress, especially at night. Who knows how much he is adding to your mental struggles with this behaviour. 

Very good idea to talk to the pros

Otherwise, your weekend sounds lovely and its so good that the bad thoughts don't take over and make you retreat these days. Who'd have thought a few months ago you'd be enjoying your garden and having the inlaws round for homemade cheesecake? Your work and money plans all sound positive too. So pleased for you, especially wife saying its really what she wants too.

RelievedSheff

Day 95. It will be triple digits this week

Another one here who is glad that you have had a great family weekend.

You would have scoffed at the idea of enjoying family time this time last year. You have come a long way in the last 12 months. Long may it continue.

alt80

Day 95; happy Monday. Great weekend and looking like shaping up to be a great working week. Just had a walk get the steps up haha. No personal money spent apart from food for the week bought a few bits for bbq. My FIL is !!!!!! mental he’s coming over tomorrow to do pulled pork whilst I’m at work as the weather is meant to be nice. 

Going to get through my personal figures tonight. Life is easier in business have people for that haha. 

@warby68 thank you.

I agree with you I could do without it altogether. Tbh I’ve considered walking away from the management of his portfolio - it’s a decent contract, I’m not really that involved with it, he and I go back a long way and I gave my word to his dad that I’d look after it so realistically not going to happen. 

Had to smile with the who’d thought I’d be enjoying my garden etc I’ve got too old for much action in my life mate, had enough to last a !!!!!! lifetime. Old before my time and enjoying the quiet and safe life too much lol. 

@RelievedSheff thank you mate. Yeah 100 days that’s a massive milestone for me already a bit anxious about that don’t want to lose a count like that ha. Spent far too long justifying days of ‘just a little’ as being ‘clean’ days telling myself I was doing it to get through always lead to out of control massive !!!!!! binges. Glad to be away from it all tbh don’t need that !!!!!! in my life. 

I have come a long way hardly recognise myself in some ways mate probably a good thing tbf. I’m not entirely reformed haha, still want to get to the next level but it’s not so !!!!!! desperate. Said before I’m not going to become some master of frugality.

enthusiasticsaver

It is so refreshing to read your posts now.  You have come a long way from a year ago in more ways than one.  No need to be a master of frugality, just be in control of your finances and life and make reasoned decisions. Taking drugs means you are not in control.  You are enslaved to your next fix. 

Lots of people in their 30s/40s are happy to lead a quieter, more satisfying and ultimately less of a roller coaster life than when younger.  You have a family, a home and a business so a lot to be thankful for especially as you achieved that on your own. 

enthusiasticsaver

It is so refreshing to read your posts now.  You have come a long way from a year ago in more ways than one.  No need to be a master of frugality, just be in control of your finances and life and make reasoned decisions. Taking drugs means you are not in control.  You are enslaved to your next fix. 

Lots of people in their 30s/40s are happy to lead a quieter, more satisfying and ultimately less of a roller coaster life than when younger.  You have a family, a home and a business so a lot to be thankful for especially as you achieved that on your own. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver thank you, yeah it was time to grow up had a bit of a wake up lockdown 1 and have to admit some of the things people said to me on here gave me a wake up; a bunch of strangers effectively calling you a !!!!!! kind of does that haha. Fml I read back some of the things I’ve written and I think what a !!!!!! never mind others but made me see why a lot of people in my life don’t like me can tell you that. Don’t blame them can’t say I like me. I can’t really see why the !!!!!! my Mrs has stuck by me for so long idk but she has and I’m very blessed, it’s time to show her I want to make a proper go of it.

Agree re making reasoned decisions etc which I wasn’t tbt and hadn’t for a long time; I’d let addiction rule my life for too long. Ironic for me tbh always had the attitude I’m answerable to no one and yet there I was fml.

A year ago you saying I have a lot to be thankful for I’d have probably told you to !!!!!! right off but I do have a lot to be thankful for and carry on this road things just get better with time. I’m very fortunate in a lot of ways, lot to live for really and I’ve never seen that before these past few months. 

downshifted

I reckon if you were that unlikeable you wouldn’t have the support you’re getting on here and irl. You have made amazing progress, all you need to do now is keep on keeping temptation at bay and make the most of what you still have; a loving family, a lovely home and a decent livelihood 

Legs21

Day 95 ✅ You are doing absolutely amazing 👏👏👏

I think it’s a good sign that FIL wants to come around to yours. He can probably see the change in you too and more than likely views you in a different light to previous encounters. 

You’re wife seems to be getting on board with less spending too. It’s great that you both now see that making each other happy costs nothing but time. 

I understand your loyalty to your ‘mate’ but NOTHING is worth giving up those 95 days for. 

Stay strong. You’re going great guns with this 😉

warby68

Chuckling at FIL coming round now you've taken up his favourite hobby

You are learning to smell the roses. Its not about being old before your time. Its appreciating what you have in the here and now rather than dismissing it all in favour of some elusive future which never quite arrives. So its all good.

As for likeable or not, you are already building bridges with inlaws, MG mate, your former mentor and your employees seem invested in your wellbeing too. There are probably plenty of people in RL as well as on here who saw glimpses of the person behind the cokehead and will give you a chance. Give yourself a break, you're allowed to evolve. If the change in you is obvious just from your written word, in RL it must be even more visible.

alt80

Day 95 has ended with me doing something to my back. Joined wife for a 2km, decent little run got home. Dog was being a fool as always, I must have moved in a strange way as my back made some odd clicking sound, no pain or anything, only happened once but looking like another visit to some specialist last thing I need is a back injury. Have to get GP referral to see the specialist through my insurance cover, so hoping the free virtual gp will refer or will cost me £150ish for gp appointment. Before anyone says go through NHS gp for free, mine is terrible extent of advice seems to be jog on but take a paracetamol if it's painful.

Sent wife the link at the bottom of the page - free visits to uk heritage sites. Some interesting ones on in NG and a few your way @RelievedSheff. Worth a look wherever you are in the country, there seems to be lots to choose from if you want a cheap day out.

@downshifted thanks, I certainly hope I can stay on this path.

@Legs21 thank you nothing is worth giving up 95 days for. I put recovery first, good things follow. My parents-in-law I can't thank enough for the support they've given me over these past 95 days tbh. Wife and I trying to come up with Christmas / birthday plans without it getting too silly on costs giving our boy some different experiences - he loves being out as a family sure that won't last so my Mrs and I are going to make the most of it. Thanks for suggestions on here too. Already bought some lego with the JL deal and have a few things but nothing big. My Mrs still thinks we should get him the phone she's quite upset I've said it's not happening. Told her if she gets him one it's going back whether he's opened it or not we can't have him keep physically hurting either of us until he gets his own way it's ridiculous. Had wife in tears the other day she read some article about out of control kids beating their parents she's panicking about our son. I've told her we just need to be tougher about it or idk maybe he could turn out like that. Had to tell her 2 times this evening he's not a baby anymore, he's growing closer to a teenager than a baby now !!!!!! scary thought that is.

@warby68 he's !!!!!! obsessed with bbq mate has been for as long as I've know my Mrs and according to her would fire the thing up year round when they were kids.

That's a better way of looking at it rather than old before my time thanks. You're right although I've still got an eye on the future, not lost the drive to keep levelling up; what's the point in life if you just stand still really. Said on Sheff's both my sister and husband have started working 4 days a week as of start of this month. They're happy, it's what they want so that's all that matters not my opinion but can't help thinking she had so much potential, he probably did too idk don't want to wind up that !!!!!! content I give up lol keep one eye on future growth whilst appreciating here and now - what it says you need to do in that dopamine book actually know I laughed at it first time but idk it's nice to spend a bit of time out iyswiacf. See it as a bit of a guilty pleasure tbh but better than turning to the other stuff 100%. 

Doing my best to just be better, stay off and away from the destructive things that just end up hurting myself and others around me; levelling up in a different way ha.