First Steps to Solvency

warby68

My radar is pinging badly with the 'mate' and parking for £200.

Let's hope he doesn't offer payment in kind. It just feels a sneaky way back in.

I also thought you'd cut him off - he wants you to fail, your friends want you to succeed. He is jealous and knows all your triggers.

Don't let your guard down @alt80

ladyholly

As everyone above. You must avoid contact with your "mate". He is trying very hard to destroy everything you have worked for. Block him and let your staff deal with him and get them to stop him from seeing you.

Legs21

He is not a mate. A true mate would pat you on the back for doing so well the way you do when your tenants go on to purchase a house of their own. You do this because there is no jealousy on your part, you are genuinely happy for them. I’m not sure why you class him as a mate, all he seems to do is put you down. He is also one of your biggest triggers. He’ll do whatever it takes to make you fail so he can make himself feel better about his addiction. Tell him you’ll go out with him once he’s 90 days clean. It’ll never happen. 

Stay strong.

alt80

Day 93 been a brilliant day.

Spent it with family, had my phone off all day, just a couple of check-ins nice to be disconnected sometimes. Big walk and a 4km run too. Wife is building her stamina again after injury / foot problems doing 3/4km everyday next week trying 5km 3 days, 2km on other days. I'm going to try to join her a few times. Decent session in the gym too.

Son helped me make burgers which we had on the bbq. Cold in NG but not letting that get in the way. Only spend been a takeaway coffee.

Tomorrow looking like roast chicken and making a strawberry cheesecake again big one this time haha going to take what's left round to in-laws. Fair few jobs to do tomorrow.

Thanks all re my mate I get where you're all coming tbh. I did block him, his usual number is still blocked but he just found ways to pester me through work emails and buying payg SIM cards and calling me. Stopped keeping my phone in my bedroom after he called me at 4.30am on the third occasion. He does it to his ex-wife all the time, !!!!!! nightmare tbt. The parking money is just additional revenue - not going to be drawing it to pay off cards or anything else. He's dating some postgrad student so in NG a lot tbh I'm giving it 5 months max, wife reckons no girl clever enough to be studying at that level will last more than 2 lol. I hope he just gets his life together generally but always been the same really so idk. 

enthusiasticsaver

Good grief sounds like a restraining order would be a better option. He sounds crazy.

Glad you had a good day with your family. 

maggiem

theoretica said:

Your 'mate' makes me think of a viper or other innately dangerous animal.  You must never lose sight of the fact that they are dangerous to handle them safety and incidents follow from overconfidence or getting casual about things. 

Actually makes me think of Kaa the snake in the Jungle Book, always dangling temptation in your way! 

warby68

Glad you had a great day.

I hope you rethink the parking space. The man is a menace. It could just lead to endless opportunities for him to intercept you trying to make you think you are in his debt somehow. I don't think he's far from a stalker.

Strongest possible recommendation to ditch him properly. Its a disaster waiting to happen.

Do you really answer unknown numbers at odd hours btw? If he gets through why do you engage? Whatever 'pull' he has on you is part of the bad phase of your life not this good one. I wish you could see that.

SanguineGina

Great going for day 94, alt, long may it continue!👏

Like nearly every other poster on here, I too think that your 'mate' is actually a relapse waiting to happen.  Please don't let that be so; it would be such a waste of all your hard work and effort.

Maybe double check with yourself that your reasoning and justification for accepting the easy £200 earning isn't being driven by the sneaky devious addict part of your brain which sees the potential for maybe a little bag of something being handed over as a bonus or month's payment.  You may not have any intention of ever letting your 'mate' cause you to lose your recovery, but your subconscious may have other ideas.

alt80

Day 94 through, another good one with the family. Lot of little jobs done, great roast, cheesecake and few hours with the in-laws they came to ours in the end spent a bit of time in the garden. Had a few reflective/ difficult episodes looking back annoyed with myself I've spent my life missing out on time with my family. My Mrs said today she'd rather have this than any amount of lifestyle not sure what I've done to be so blessed but I need to stop looking back, just concentrate on now and the future take care of my family properly not buying !!!!!! expensive trinkets out of guilt. 

Work week planned out, manageable and looking like a couple of lunchtimes I can spend with my wife. Exercise planned despite aching from head to !!!!!! toe after another hard session this morning lol. Wife won't take that for an excuse lol tbf she's given me an easy day tomorrow - 10k steps and nothing else. No money spent today. 10pm and I've just started setting up sept-dec looking like I should be able to get under the £20k target on the cards which would be amazing. Wife has told me to put it down now and just chill out for the hour got my chamomile tea and bedtime routine in place haha. Much needed tbf.

@enthusiasticsaver you aren't the only one who thinks that his ex-wife went down that road.

@warby68 no I don't answer the phone but haven't been able to have my landline at home connected at night and mobile usually on dnd unless I've been up messing about on it when I couldn't sleep. After him attempting to call I've chosen to keep the phone away from my bedroom - reasons other than him tbh I wake up I don't need to know the time to stress me out further and I'm sleeping a little better for not being able to !!!!!! about looking at my phone at stupid hours. 

@SanguineGina thanks. I hadn't seen it in that way but you've prompted me to speak to the pros about it.

downshifted

@SanguineGina thanks. I hadn't seen it in that way but you've prompted me to speak to the pros about it.

Excellent idea!