First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Yes all children kick off at times but by the age of 7 nearly 8 he should not be lashing out because he cannot have his own way. If this continues one of you (probably you wife) will get hurt. You must for your own sakes as well as your sons stop this violent behaviour.

 

On a side note what is a going back to school gift? I have never heard of this unless it is a new pen or similar.

maggiem

Glad to read bank holiday went reasonably well. 

So close to 90 days 👏👏👏

theoretica

Speaking for bonsai, now isn't really a good time to start something off - it depends on the plant and if you want indoor or outdoor, but late winter before things start growing in spring is often better.  I think Greenwood studios would be a good day out next February/March- they have inspiration as well as seedlings and beginner plants - and you will all be bonsai beginners so that is the place to start.  The other thing to know about bonsai is the trees you see in pictures are primped, pruned and tended to be at their best at that moment for the camera - they often look shaggier for much of the rest of the year.

getmore4less

Well done on surviving the weekend.

Really should correct them you have not bought a £70k car you are renting it tax free as a company car.

Kakiste

I think kids do really well with small amounts of responsibility and ownership over their own money (I'm advocating pocked money again, sorry! ) 

My daughter has a list of household chores (aside from tidying her own mess/ room up as that is an expected part of living in a family home, we all pitch in) If she completes them each day (she almost always does) she gets a small amount of pocket money. 

This is her money to spend on whatever she likes; she sometimes blows it on stupid tat but she has also saved up £40 a few times to buy something she really wants. She doesn't get any presents from us at all outside of birthday, christmas or doing something exceptionally well at school (she got to pick a new toy when she got her year 1 spelling badge last year- worked most of the year towards it) 

It means that she appreciates what she has and really looks after her possessions as she's aware that some of her toys are the equivalent of a month of extra chores in value. It also is a brilliant response to the 'mum can I have?....' question when we're in shops as I always get her to take her pocket money purse out with us and I say "I don't know, check your purse, can you afford it?"

 I feel very strongly that I'm instilling the lessons of saving up and not overspending really young, and also it takes the onus off me to provide her with everything; she's working for and deciding what her 'wants' are at a very early age. 

sarahevie1

I've just spent a weekend away with friends. It was mostly ok -but one of the children of the group now a teenager - has been ill disciplined all their life. It has always been everybody else's fault according to the parents, they've always been leader of the pack' and entitled. Their dad was/is loaded multiple businesses but never there. He left them a few years ago for a younger model and they're lifestyle is drastically different now. In many ways better - money is not always the root to happiness.

They were absolutely vile to my children and whatever their faults (there are a few) they did me proud. I'd be absolutely devastated if my kids behaved that way - but then after many years in the classroom I know the qualities I want in my own children and mostly 'although far from perfect' they constantly do me proud as I regularly get praise for their behaviour and basically they're decent young people. 

Disclaimer *I can see a lot of myself and my own parents in FIL* so appreciate we're on a different page with views - but in my experience behaviour is easier to control when kids are younger. I had a real hard time with my middle daughter and her behaviour was awful towards me for years; she did have a very serious health problem 8% chance of survival at one point, her dad left, she dealt with 3 close bereavements in a few years, I had to get her professional help - but I'm not making excuses - she was awful but if you're consistent - you reap the rewards - I honestly think she'll be fine now.
Good luck - I promise it'll be worth it. 

alt80

Day 89 or day 90 eve haha. No money spent get my company card back tomorrow for expenses wife is keeping me accountable. Didn't seriously think I'd get this far if I'm honest I can't really believe it. Need to have my eye on next couple of milestones - 100 days then 120 days but it's just getting through the one I'm on that really matters. I was really struggling with it for a long time, justifying it in small quantities and it was wrecking my life, family and my health, more mental health than physical health really but that was suffering a bit too. Wasn't doing my business any favours either. Know it'll take time to undo and some aspects may have changed forever. Had people tell me I wasn't that bad for it all without exception justifying their own habits really. Had someone I've always had a lot of time for in business and has been a mentor to me take my family and I out for lunch today, we met up not so long ago and he knows I'm on the recovery path. Bit of work, nice lunch, bit more work, big walk, kick about in the garden and film with fire going - freezing in NG but like autumn arrived early just need a hot choc. My boy loves the idea of us all having a go at growing a bonsai tree from a seedling told him it would truly be his then @theoretica so thanks for that. 

I'll respond properly tomorrow but agree with a lot tbh I know he's pushing boundaries didn't we all as kids ha. 

Re car that's exactly what I said got the !!!!!! sarcastic remarks in return idk just need to live with they think I'm a !!!!!! I'm not too keen on them either I'm the one losing really if I lose the !!!!!! plot and wind up back on the chang not them.

Willowtree222

Congratulations Alt. 90 days is a huge achievement.

Glad your son like the seedling idea hopefully that will help keep him
interested. 

Yes, all children test boundaries but when they’re not there they’ll keep pushing. If he doesn’t physically lash out at certain people like your in laws then it shows he knows it’s not right. You really have got to deal with it. 

Have a lovely day x

RelievedSheff

Is it Day 90 today? Another goal achieved. Will be into triple digits before too much longer.

ladyholly

You are doing really well Congratulations on day 90.