First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Day 36 through. Thanks all it's not been an easy day but I've got through and no spends. Whacked now had some work to finish up ready for weekend and sorted out something good for all for Monday re cover/ jobs/ extra days for those working. I'm working on Monday and few hours tomorrow. With that in mind I've planned a sober one unless they win then I'll crack open a bottle of Champagne - wife wants me to buy a bottle of DP fml rather than the usual Moet. I've told her no, not happening. She's not happy still banging on about the Celine, a new TV, that I'm not getting her to the final and Brad the labourer. Not gonna lie I lost it a bit tonight wound up telling her as she's besotted with Brad I'm happy to see how far she gets next month on a !!!!!! labourers wage - gave her the answer as I couldn't bare her trying to argue - she'd be doing a lot of sets of nails as a labourers wage wouldn't barely cover our mortgage let alone anything else and she'd have to start looking for a new school for son as they won't teach him for a couple of hours lifting and shifting. She's been crying since, called her parents and her dad went !!!!!! crazy told her he won't be having her watching Love Island and spending all her time on Instagram at Centre Parcs next week.

Some better news my new grad got his degree result - 1st almost across the board the clever little !!!!!! ha. Really proud of him tbf.

alt80

@katsu thank you I want to stay in recovery - it's not easy but nothing worth doing ever is and it's harder to keep starting over time and time again. I spoke to the people I needed to about what my sister said - kept thinking about it in the day and dwelling on stuff like that = no good for me and in turn my family and recovery. Doing the right thing for once - keeps me off the spending too.

@CRANKY40 ha fml you made me laugh with that lol thanks.

dawnybabes

Good I’m glad you bit back! You’re supposed to be a partnership and sometimes you need to speak up and clear the air. 

alt80

@mark55man we got knocked out in the quarter finals in '02 so not sure how it's a lucky shirt unless you did wear it around Glasgow and didn't get killed haha. Tbf my England shirt is older than my son by a fair margin lol.

@efes_shareholder thank you I think you're right re work etc. I try to make my son realise life isn't a free ride give him choices - little thing now or something more expensive later if he parks the little thing. He is a bit spoilt I'd say really def compared to when I was a kid. My mum and dad made !!!!!! sure my sister and I worked for what we had as children ha. Son is helping me in the kitchen on Sunday. Told him he can have a little reward next week if he does well, picked making a little planter for herbs so going to cost me a bit of wood by the looks of it. Told him his end of the bargain will be to look after the herbs we plant.

I can't limit her access to money, she would be very upset and consider it a punishment.

@getmore4less lol idk by that logic she clearly ended up calling it wrong - she's not that bothered about property.

amanda_p

We well done for giving your wife a reality check, been a long time coming.
I think today from what I have read most of the wives of footballers all have careers. I know one is a lawyer, another an osteopath.
It was noted by the press that compared to the Baden Baden days where the likes of Victoria Beckham and Colleen Rooney strutted about with bags of shopping etc. the new breed of wife is very different.
Your wife might not be the catch she thinks she is for a footballer!

RelievedSheff

Well done for telling your wife and good on father in law for backing you up. 

Sometimes you just have to do these things.

New day today.

mark55man

Yes that's true not very lucky t-shirt really.  Perhaps its my "lucky we didn't do worse" T-Shirt.  England is like Tim Henman - everyone always disappointed but I think he consistently outperformed his world ranking esp at home.  Except this year we are like Andy Murray (but not Scottish!!)   

MovingForwards

Thank goodness for the healthy dose of reality and to see FIL is on side over it.

What your wife is trying to do is "keep up with the Jones' ". It's what trips a lot of people up when they spend more than they earn, want to portray a different lifestyle and numerous other things. She's clearly unhappy, but won't take steps to rectify it.

Tell her if she keeps it up, son will be pulled from the school to fund her lifestyle as something has to give. The alternative is she can earn money to fund it.

You're growing up, she hasn't even started and won't until everything sinks in. 

alt80

Day 37. Will not drink today and will not go out of the house without my son and dog. I’m not in a great place but have the barriers in place to not do anything I will regret. 

Half wish I was still turning a blind eye to my personal finances. Wife has bought the Celine, still moaning we won’t be going to the final and TVs have better picture these days and I’ve !!!!!! lost it told her one more time she buys !!!!!! off plan that she doesn’t need I’m taking her name off my cards so she can’t spend - ultimately she won’t be the one to pay them back nor is she on the hook for them (she’s well over allowance for spends - embarrassingly so now). Tbh our budget for variable spends is higher than quite a lot of people have to live including their household costs. Not trying to pretend I’m the best in the business but there’s a lot worse off in this world I’m done with her trying to make me feel like !!!!!! because I can’t buy her everything single !!!!!! thing she sees on IG.

Managed to get the work I wanted to do out of the way this morning so going to get onto the cars - son is helping me vac the interiors wish me luck haha. 

lady1964

Your wife sounds like she’s really not in it for the long haul in either helping with getting your finances sorted or with your therapy. You are doing so well but from what you’re writing, she’s risking dragging you back down in ways to ‘deal’ with the stress she’s giving you in ways that are just not good.

I’m impressed that you gave her a dose of reality but basically, she’s ignored you, therefore isn’t supporting you. I would take her name off the cards now, she’s taking the p**s and you’re enabling her, it has to stop for your benefit and that the hard work you’ve done isn’t undone.