First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@getmore4less it’s out of the pile of spares he sent with the car and the ‘modification’ is actually putting the original part back on the car. He’ll probably show my wife how to fit it later tbf lol. I’ve got her on the videos to kill some time away from IG tbh.

I wasn’t up long enough to watch TV last night just kept waking up hardly had 2hrs continuous. 

Programme sounds a bit bizarre one of those that’s either going to be good or awful ha.

@enthusiasticsaver whole country will be watching tonight into football or not. Thanks roast is cooking away nicely doing pork joint but different to the usual chicken ha. 

Tbh when she’s off IG she’s totally different generally. Just encourages stupidity as you say too much time on her hands won’t have that tomorrow she’s coming to work lol.

katsu

I'm so pleased for you Alt as your mind is changing and your life keeps on getting better. 

For your wife, I think she's said something really powerful when she talked about there being no opportunities for her now.  Maybe she wants something more than her current life too. Maybe counselling would really help you both in working on your life vision. 

Something that made me think of is the work of KonMari or Marie Kondo. She is  famous for her decluttering and what sets her work apart I think it's the depth of her focus on your vision for your life. You don't start with a bin bag, you start with a pen and a real "but why do you think" reflection on the life you want to live, the way you want to spend your time and fleshing out a vision that then guides the decisions you make about your home. 

KonMari is famous for her catchphrase about whether an item Sparks Joy or not. The items have to fit your life vision, not just be a nice Celine bag, and many people use her principles in their approach to shopping and life after tidying their house. 

I think it's really powerful as a life perspective and maybe it might help your wife with her shopping issues as wanting this bag and a new TV feel like reactions not considered purchases and I wonder if she had a positive vision if she could more easily make judgements about what she buys and why. 

Maybe add some KonMari to your reading list and see what she sparks for you? 

For me my KonMari journey to refining my life vision has been a part of my next transformation after I achieved financial stability and its really helpful in our house to thinking about what we spend money on. 

Allikat86

I think that Katsu has a really valid point, though I remember asking about whether your wife would be interested in being self employed in some way and you explained that she wasn’t. Perhaps it’s time to revisit that with her... however, I also really think that counselling would be a good idea. We all know how emotions and money can be deeply entwined! I wonder if this is bringing up a lot of emotions for her too as she’s on your recovery journey with you. She’s enabled you for a long time and it’s been probably pretty co-dependent in that way - you’re trying to find a healthier path and the dynamics have changed.

getmore4less

Drop love island and try naked attraction.

Or even better go back over an old series of  "take me out" that sounds like her level.....

alt80

Day 38 through. Also kept my word to have an AF day if England didn't win so the Moet lives to fight another day ha. 

Son has only just gone to sleep, he's been absolutely heartbroken - would not stop crying. He set my wife off and that was it lol. Said to my son I stand by what I said before; the team should be incredibly proud to have got so far. They have given the whole of England something to come together over whether football fans or not. Everyone I know was hoping, praying and believing it was time football came home. This time it wasn't meant to be but Southgate's team are strong and young enough to come back from this after building on their World Cup performance and I'm certain they demonstrate the necessary resilience to win a major tournament soon. Despite defeat tonight every one of those players and the team behind the scenes responsible for getting to that final demonstrated many qualities that make good role models. Think we can all learn a lot from our current national team but especially kids my son's age. (Sorry Scots reading this ha and anyone who didn't want my football brain dump ha get it out the way and hopefully sleep lol)

Apart from the result, I've had a good day wound up having to fill the MG with petrol so did spend but worth it. Sunday roast with friends and went out in the cars together after. Son got a ride in both their other cars and my mate's wife walked out with a fresh set of nails ready for the match haha she'll be coming back tomorrow now they've lost. 

Think I'm going to bin the current amex as our day-to-day spends card go back to BC for simplicity and sign up to their avios package - anyone also signed up to this please (it's through their personal current account not BC)? £12/m for x1 bonus of 25000avios and 1500avios/m iirc in essence is it worth it? Also does anyone know if I reduce the limit on the BC if that will flag something wrong? I've never reduced a limit on a card and a bit concerned it might be some kind of red flag - bank thinking I'm concerned about my ability to pay or whatever idk. I do all my day to day banking with them (personal and business) and my res mortgage is with them; likely to stay with them long term for the day to day banking and res mortgage (get a discounted rate which is very competitive and has been for years so aside from something major changing I'll in all likelihood stay with them).

Looking like the planned repayment amount over this month so long as my wife sticks by her word to send the bag back when it gets here. Another school year done in a couple of days; my boy will be progressing into the junior school after summer. Apart from Centre Parcs next week before the real summer rush starts when all schools have broken up we aren't going away this summer. Few days out planned and I'll be working 4 day weeks until September. Never done this before, I wasn't interested in making the most of my son's breaks from school. Something I massively regret but I sit feeling sorry for myself and that leading to the destructive stuff it just means being more of a let down to my family. 

alt80

Wide awake and certainly shouldn’t be fml. Been reading a lot about parenting recently had to do a lot of therapy exercises to try to stop me going on the negative spiral too after reading them. I know we all want better for our kids I’ve always wanted that thought the only thing I could do was get my wallet out and avoid him !!!!!! save him from me then I learn that’s just as damaging idk England team effort got me thinking my son needs some good role models - has it at school and in-laws but wife lets him get away with too much and I’m just a !!!!!! deadbeat so far as being a dad is concerned. Def need to step up choose to live better. 

RelievedSheff

Well done on getting through Day 38. You are doing great.

Sounds like you had a great day yesterday.

We were gutted for England last night. Not to the point of tears mind. But they did the country proud. They can pick themselves up for next year.

alt80

Day 39 or take your wife to work day. !!!!!! dream team lol.

Won’t be spend free - food shop.

Being overly tired is definitely quite !!!!!! dangerous for me. Know turning to the stupid stuff does nothing but cause me more problems, have the barriers in place and not a chance my Mrs would let me buy it anyway. I do need to stop running on empty though, another night of poor sleep, had about 4hrs and it affects me quite badly especially when night after night; just need to get through the day and have an early night.

alt80

@RelievedSheff thank you we did have a nice day apart from the result - my son is still gutted, so am I tbh and wife been !!!!!! crying again she doesn’t stop fml but we always knew Italy would be tough and they can take some time to consolidate ready for 2022. They still did the nation proud imo.

mark55man

tell your boy that being heartbroken is  right of passage.  my DS1 still remembers going upstairs desolate after Portugal beat us in like 2004/2006.  I'm old enough to have been alive in 1966 but most of the country weren't so I agree with your analysis.  Possibly England need to work on the penalties a bit!!  And not sure I agree with the order the boys went out in.  My main worry is the impact of the miss will have on them for the future, which should be bright.  

Good luck with today @alt80 it's going to be an odd one.  First meeting in 15 meetings - could be awkward (although its Brits only so probably won't talk about it)