First Steps to Solvency

Allikat86

RelievedSheff said:

Nothing wrong with you. You are just growing up  

Amen! The difference in the last 40 days has been phenomenal. Keep it up ☺️

alt80

Wife been a nightmare this afternoon re bag going back. Don't think I helped things tbh told her she stops spending money on !!!!!! when we've cleared this lot we'll be able to double our mortgage and buy an amazing house. Said before on here property is more my thing and I've been to see somewhere today (strictly on a professional basis) I'd love to buy ha so didn't go down too well really.

@RelievedSheff haha only took me 40 years lol.

@KxMx thank you that's what I'm trying to do - one day at a time. The cards are on my mind because whilst I've limited my own access to them my wife still has access and tbh she's been a nightmare this afternoon - agreed to send the bag back, got it and crying about sending it back now and I've become 'a miser' idk.

With you re having to be in the right place mentally for it to be successful tbh I've been trying to stop doing coke for years on and off constant promises and breaking of those promises and not being really serious. This time is the first one I've been seriously on the recovery outside the res setting where tbf your sole purpose is recovery so a lot easier than being home.

@Allikat86 thank you.

stymied

Oh dear @alt80 not sure how you undo the “you stop spending on what you like so I can spend more on what I like” message!

How long do you have to return the bag? Put it away somewhere inaccessible (the loft?) for a week to think about? Offer to wrap it up for her Christmas present? Offer to keep it but it can only be used once £750 of new sales of her stuff have been made?

alt80

@stymied the moment I said it I knew what it sounded like and not how it was meant at all tbh I had just seen the !!!!!! dream package. Know I get my cards and Range Rover paid off, double my mortgage be better off financially and have a bigger house that’s worth more, further out of town and further away from temptations. 

Shouldn’t have been so blunt with her know that much, just !!!!!! annoyed she yet again agrees to doing the right thing and then can’t stick by her word. Yeah I know pot calling the !!!!!! kettle there ha. Hope she sees sense still and I won’t have to start the bargaining with her over the stupid thing tbh rather not have the it’s for your Christmas present or sell your stuff and you can have it conv. Ultimately I’d like any sales coming off the balances. 

dawnybabes

I can’t believe she starts crying at every thing, she really is like a child not getting her own way ! In 26 years of marriage you could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve cried not at a funeral, birth etc. 

getmore4less

The safety net will come with time, 

The better the plan the easier is is to see you won't need it as big( I seed the thought and give it a couple of months   )

As each card gets sorted decide what to do.

The real thing you need to do is make sure you keep access to 0% and preferred option the no fee ones.

Cycling money through purchase cards is a good start.

If you want to mess up miss a payment....
Even the seriously high CC debt has not impacted the property side till you needed to mess with higher LTV borrowing.

You have all that under control now.
...


Bit of a fail I want a more expensive house.

That was supposed to be parked til you had paid for the cars.

Personal housing needs to be a family discussion from now keep the fantasy  projects in the business.

No harm in value evaluation of the wife's (and yours) spends but keep it to the important value comparing that involves all the family

alt80

@dawnybabes can send her round for the weekend if you like lol. Seriously yeah she cries a !!!!!! lot usually about stupid stuff and pretty resilient when really needed idk ha.

CRANKY40

Given what you spent on rehab etc I'd let her keep the bag. That'll be one mistake each since you both decided to "go straight" lol. Make it clear that it's absolutely the last thing and that you won't be giving in again?  

alt80

@getmore4less idk I would like to work towards having something of a safety net, I've got old lol.

Haha re seed the thought and give it a few months. Yeah does seem to pan out like that usually fml you're the voice of experience mate.

I've done some !!!!!! dumb things in my time but I've never missed payments - as soon as I can I set up a DD for the min with any new card. I know it's sometimes a can't rather than a forgot/ won't; one of my worst !!!!!! nightmares there and have been closer to that before than I'd like to admit. Don't ever want to be back there again that's probably one of my biggest motivators to get and stay out of debt for stupid lifestyle stuff and to try to offset and 'make up' for my old habit. I never want to have to tell my son that trying to still fund a lifestyle when 6 figures deep on cards, a dev project going !!!!!! pearshaped and being sat pending a remo onto the last chance rates to save yourself whilst doing blow most days is not where you want to be in life. I look back and think what a !!!!!! numbskull I was. Hope one day in the future I'll look back and see how !!!!!! far I'm come tbh the alternative is too !!!!!! bleak to even think about.

Re house: it is parked for now 100%. I'm not even unhappy with my home though I do think there's one last blow out - last home, as many boxes on the list ticked kind of thing.

alt80

@CRANKY40 she told me she wasn't buying for 2 months and still bought not just this bag but !!!!!! at JD etc. I do know where your coming from but can't just keep having 'one last times' over and over I know that more than anyone. I promised her I'd never do coke again when she found out she was pregnant and I meant it 100% at the time of saying it but we are where we are 7 years later. I !!!!!! pray I manage to stay in recovery after my last !!!!!! foray into madness and I'm not even religious.