First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Thank you. We spent a fair few hours yesterday working out how we are going move forward re budget. Wife and I are never going to be saints with money and quite possibly my idea of ‘balance’ will be out of whack with what many on here would consider to be. Equally there’s only so many six figure credit card debts I can mitigate. Tbh I can’t do the whole second hand clothes, £100k house and a 1.0ltr hatch with no spec have a lot of admiration for those who can in a way must be nice for money not to concern you. I am aware how I plan to choose to live moving forward isn’t exactly what many of any on here would consider frugal or whatever. 

I can’t trust myself in some places know that much addressing the addiction stuff all part of the therapy but for now keeping away and using all the techniques I’ve paid a lot of money for is needed. Started to pay for company expenses on my company card rather than claiming back ‘for points’ lol more like so I could buy stuff generally without what I saw as judgment from my accountant fml just cheating myself. Tbh look back and the only reason I’ve not properly screwed my business up probably because I haven’t a clue where the money would come from if I didn’t have it lol.

@Grumpelstiltskin on the list now thanks mate. 👍

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Thank you. We spent a fair few hours yesterday working out how we are going move forward re budget. Wife and I are never going to be saints with money and quite possibly my idea of ‘balance’ will be out of whack with what many on here would consider to be. Equally there’s only so many six figure credit card debts I can mitigate. Tbh I can’t do the whole second hand clothes, £100k house and a 1.0ltr hatch with no spec have a lot of admiration for those who can in a way must be nice for money not to concern you. I am aware how I plan to choose to live moving forward isn’t exactly what many of any on here would consider frugal or whatever. 

I can’t trust myself in some places know that much addressing the addiction stuff all part of the therapy but for now keeping away and using all the techniques I’ve paid a lot of money for is needed. Started to pay for company expenses on my company card rather than claiming back ‘for points’ lol more like so I could buy stuff generally without what I saw as judgment from my accountant fml just cheating myself. Tbh look back and the only reason I’ve not properly screwed my business up probably because I haven’t a clue where the money would come from if I didn’t have it lol.

@Grumpelstiltskin on the list now thanks mate. 👍

Everyone's budget and debt repayment plans are different. We all live our lives in different ways and what is important to one person isn't to another. That's one reason that we all make our debt free journeys in completely different ways.

So long as the debt is going in the right direction it doesn't matter how long it takes to reach that debt free day. 

Our plan isn't exactly frugal either but the end goal is the same to be debt free.

warby68

That's the whole point of balance - its personal.
Its about your balance in your life and not particularly about comparing to other people. That said, seeing how other people do it is always food for thought.
We're going to try and crunch the mortgage for a couple of years to catch up on the school fee years. That's us resetting the balance a bit - we'd been looking forward to splashing out on a hol or 2 or just general lifestyle but with Covid still in play we're changing direction and going for a bit more security building. Always under review though. Balance is a moving feast. That's all I'm saying. You're having to give debt repayment a certain level of priority for a couple of years so something else has to give for a while but its obvious pushing it to misery levels won't work for you. It would never work for us either tbh. You've already worked out that you did a lot of spending without matching value because it was compensating for the bad stuff,  so those things can go first. You're also starting to get pleasure out of lower cost stuff especially stuff done with family because family is the priority not the IG pics. I'm going on a bit because it must feel that you haven't progressed much when the addiction keeps tripping you up but you have. Its important that you take stock of the progress as well as the problems and not to compare to others so much as compare your current position with your own earlier one.
Keep going @alt80

getmore4less

Looking at the extremes again, it does not have to be second hand clothes £100k house and 1lt car.

You have plenty  of clothes, the house it ticking along nicely, the cars still need a bit of work but well manageable 

You have the best part of £1/2m to allocate over the next(a bit less) 5 years to align with the Mortgage fix.

Up to you how allocate it from now, a couple of the major money sinks will drop off during that time giving more options moving forward. 

Sort out your business after 5 years of coasting then the  income pot should start to grow.

Don't mess up the wife's car by telling her "letting you  pick one is your birthday present"

Great progress  but we have been there before.

Keep reminding yourself  how much you really want your family and the joy that brings and you will get through this.

alt80

Some interesting points there. Had to reflect a lot on my mindset etc - not a lot that good there haha plenty to improve upon ha.

@RelievedSheff not even sure my ultimate aim is to be completely 'debt free' in the sense a lot on here seem to tbh. Realistically I'll buy a car on a finance deal or put something on the 0% again and from what you've put on here think you're possibly similar in that respect? Though in your case think you have some different long term goals - tbh I'll probably be mortgaged to my eyeballs until the day I die all my responsibility until I get to a point of !!!!!! the PGs off or is as I see it and tbh I don't know when to stop in terms of choosing to pay down rather than buying more so idk on that front. Can't see me paying off and never having another res mortgage either but who knows not something I'm personally bothered about but know you want to get yours cleared and that be it. Anyhow - what I'm aiming for is to not be constantly spending more than I earn and winding up with massive personal debts that impact my business/ family and my wellbeing tbt. Always considered myself prior to the last 6 months or so as having an income problem rather than a spending problem when tbh I think it's really the latter and no matter how I address the former, I don't address the spending I'll always have a debt problem. 

@warby68 yeah I've been guilty of the comparison even on here haha someone cleared £1k that day and I'll want to be able to post up I've cleared £2k. Realised that's half my problem tbh. 

Hear you re the school fees - even worse for you having 2 fml said on a few occasions recently wife can forget anymore kids I can't afford that no !!!!!! wonder your hubby drives a van lol. Seriously, I see the school as a massive commitment and responsibility always have tried to pretend it's nothing in the past but not the case for me it's a lot of money.

I need to get the cards !!!!!! off which has been factored in tbh until recently my wife didn't have a clue. Didn't even know what sort of money hit the account until recently so I'll just say she wasn't too pleased def thought I did a bit better than I do but she's come to terms with it now. On the other note taking stock etc you sound like one of the pros haha. 

@getmore4less funny you should mention it from a 5yr plan angle. That's where I started with it yesterday - couldn't give a !!!!!! about a bit on the 0% whilst things come right. Fortunately barring any absolutely massive downturn income levels are at least sustainable with plenty of areas for further growth (not forecast/ expecting current levels res market to continue indefinitely either). I've resigned myself to no additional personal income for the period of the res fix apart from the car offset which is effectively a bit of a bonus - retain any growth in the company and choose what to do from there best way for me and realistically I'm not moving either. Trying to not even concern myself with the 5 yrs after that right now. 

Wife's car - I've already apologised to her for the lack of choice tbh mate. It is what it is and she's ok with moving the BMW on for something through the business just hoping she isn't massively keen on the Taycan which has creeped onto the list that's pushing it really but don't really think I can say no to it if she decides to go for it. All the little city car options soon !!!!!! off once she saw the (lack of) spec girl's got expensive taste haha.

Yeah very aware I've been here/ better position before lol don't trust myself tbt just need to keep working on the positive stuff and avoiding the the rest. 

Legs21

So nice to read all these positive posts from you. It may be a struggle some days but just mark each bad day on a calendar and see how further apart those bad days become as time goes on. 

Why don’t you give your wife a monthly car budget of what you want to pay and if she wants anything over that amount then she can earn it doing nails and pay the additional amount herself. 

I don’t think anyone expects you to cut everything back to the bone, you just need to learn to live within your means and as warby says find the balance between living and paying the debt. Memories, as you’ve already discovered, don’t have to cost the earth. 

You only get one life. This is not a trail run, it’s the real one, so start living it 😉

alt80

Prelim 5 year calcs: 
Total credit cards/ overdraft / res mortgage/ Range Rover/ school payments (to June 26) - £275290 (FML that seems a lot of cash when scaled to to 5 years)
Total Income - £483000
Total essentials - £138600
Available for what I've called in the past 'needs and wants' - £69110

Credit cards / overdrafts total - £35205
Range Rover - £88760
Mortgage - £73160 (assuming similar rate at the point of renewal)
School - £78165 (F.M.L. that shocked me when I added it up for the next 5 years, will have another 6 years after that too not even that an expensive school either)

Essentials = food (£400/m), alcohol (£50/m), coffee out (£50/m), fuel (rev to £500/m), 'entertainment' (£250/m), sinking fund for house (rev from £0 to £200/m), ctax, water, tv, phones, gas/elec, buildings and contents ins, range rover insurance, tax, servicing and maintenance (rev to £200/m to account for extending warranty/ inevitable tyres/ misc repairs). 

Needs and wants = £1150/m to be split between son/ school costs (uniform/ trips etc), presents, gym, clothing, hair and beauty, family days, holidays/ weekends, occasions. Really doesn't seem a lot but know there are people trying to live on this sort of money so should be able to do it.

Sticking to this would leave me at the end of the 5 year point with my only commitments being son's school and my res mortgage on the personal side, owning the Range Rover outright and with no credit card debt. Realistically that's saying I'm not going to buy another sports car which idk right now, something to think about in a while. 

@Legs21 thank you yes I have a mood calendar tracker thing for the therapy lol. 

Re wife nails income I have discounted it from my calcs and won't really work re car as its going through my company but whatever she earns will give us a bit of additional income I keep track of it anyway to send to my accountant. 

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have a plan of sorts then for the next 5 years and aiming for just the mortgage by the end of this period sounds good and you will then have significantly more for needs and wants then once the debt repayments are eliminated from your monthly budget.  

I don't really know what you mean by not aiming to be a "saint with money" as personally I do not see someone who is ultra frugal as being a saint unless they have to be.  Money is a tool (or resource) for want of a better word to buy you the lifestyle you aspire to.  There is a middle ground between ultra frugal and extravagant and I think most people do fall into this category unless income is unusually tight. 

Bargainhunter30

Good luck @alt80, your doing well. As everyone has said, it's all about priorities. You can't have everything (as you've discovered) but it's ok to spend on well considered purchases that are important to you and your family. For me that's reducing spends on new clothes, coffees and lunches out, to have enough disposable income for many holidays and sports activities.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver I’m talking about the ones who live in £100k houses, drive cars with tiny engines, eat for £2 a day and buy their clothes in charity shops or whatever - there are ones on here. Can live on £1.5k/m or something like some of my tenants. 

Tbh I agree re money as a resource/ tool/ whatever. Always wanted as much as I can get and don’t really love the knowledge I’m not doing so well re my budget not really matching my appetite for spending. Said on here before only thing that outweighs my appetite for earning is my appetite for spending which I need to address and am doing so or I’m always going to be struggling to make ends meet. Ends meeting is a !!!!!! novelty to me tbh so actually quite pleased with myself there lol but as I say there’s only so many 6 figure !!!!!! ups I can mitigate before I !!!!!! my whole life up with overspending. 

@Bargainhunter30 thanks and yeah know what you mean it’s about priorities effectively. You’ve no idea how many times I think about binning the school which would def give me the money for a sports car but just can’t do it - he loves it there.