First Steps to Solvency

Four_Seasons

When you finally believe in yourself you will smash the addiction, we are all cheering you on. Sleep tight. 

RelievedSheff

I hope you had a good night's sleep.

It's the start of a fresh new day and I hope it is a good one for you.

You can do this.

alt80

Terrible nights sleep tbh but thank you. Will see what today brings stress levels through the roof right now - wife is taking me for the assessment. Really hoping I don’t have to stay and can do the days there/ some from home. Do have a solid plan to stay home and wife has said she’s going to watch me lol and doesn’t really want me staying either. If I can stay home plan to go for a decent walk on Sunday with wife, son and dog. Doing this properly even weekends are pretty much accounted for whether staying or not. Did have the plan before but I stopped engaging and made a work excuse; made it sound like life or death stuff I don’t even know why I did it now fear of never doing it again I think fml. Either sort this out or carry on down the same roads wife said I carry on down the coke road the work I’ve put in to sort my debts will have been wasted. Idk has a point I think. Hope current resolve stays with me.

warby68

Your rehab is the number one priority. You have a well set up business and family - and it was you that set that up. Whatever small slippage there is in either if you are absent for a time will be nothing compared to what will happen if you carry on down the slippery slope. Stop trying to do it all - for now you've only got one job.

One thing that struck me is your innate desire for the 'best of everything' eg full body scan not a couple of blood tests and all your car and business goals yet you are resisting the 'blue ribbon' rehab package and started with the minimum. Just another way the addiction controls you, a complete about turn when it suits.

Whatever it takes @alt80 and I hope today is a good day. The key is self worth. As soon as you find a bit you'll be on your way. 

ladyholly

I hope your wifes sales go well. Good for her for doing it.

You need to try to stop comparing yourself to other people and concentrate on making the best life possible for you and your family. What others have or dont have doesnt matter and the ongoing comparison is destructive. Well done on getting back with the programme. Keep going and have a good day.

alt80

@warby68 the main reason I don’t want to stay is I hate being away from home. Completely tripping me off I might not be coming home today. Don’t like holidays really and try to make sure that’s no longer than 7 nights away from home and this is no holiday lol. Can’t sleep with the thought of having to stay there potentially for 3 or 4 weeks. It’s not even bad re accommodation and the food sounds nice but a good drive from home. Also aware I’m stretching what my medical insurance will cover for this - end up there again having to stay and I’ll be funding this myself which is shockingly expensive tbh.

alt80

Just realised I’ve missed my sons Easter break more or less had a bit of time with him but not enough. Put sniffing coke and drinking above my business and spending time with my family. !!!!!! shameful Need to sort this and get off my phone too right now. 

Either update later or on the other side fml not even allowed to keep a laptop think it gets locked up limited use lol won’t have my car etc and no where near home yeah really don’t think staying is for me.

Willowtree222

Thinking of you today. 
It might be shockingly expensive but it could just save everything about what is going on. You can't put a cost on that. I don't think anyone on here would question you spending that amount of money on something so important to you and your future. You spend a lot on the RR and yet if you aren't where you need to be you won't be able to drive it. 

Take care Alt. 

enthusiasticsaver

I hope the assessment goes ok today and whether you come home or stay you have a supportive wife so you are in a really good place. You have to sort this out above all else so I am glad you are making it a priority. Your wife is right in that all the work you have done since last September will be wasted if you keep going back to the coke and alcohol. Kick the habits for good this time. 

warby68

I get it @alt80. You don't want to lose control or your safe place.

This is one spend that should be well worth it though - this really is an investment in the rest of your life.

Don't talk yourself out of it - follow the advice wherever it leads. Try and find your courage. Quite possibly your biggest decision in life so far.