First Steps to Solvency

alt80

I slept too well 10pm-8.30am fml I can’t get anything right.

Figures I was hoping to look through were the days out costing. Wife reckons it’s obsessive working this stuff out but would rather me doing that than the other stuff. 

She’s spent a bit of time planning our extended lockdown weekends until I’ve finished my 28days more intensive therapy. Just going to carry on doing what we have been walks and films/ sport on tv basically just the lockdown chill out but might get out a bit further for the walk if we feel up to it. I know we might be going to in-laws for a few hours one day of the weekend if the weather is decent enough- not this weekend then. Told my FIL I don’t mind helping him with his bbq. 

8th May will be first time we step into a restaurant well outside a restaurant. Already planned the spends for that. Bit of an odd one but as much about me not deciding to have a walk around town after as keeping to budget. The budget seems to be helping me in all sorts of ways tbh. Booked to go to a civilised but not through the roof expensive place and lunchtime too so also less inclined happens to be a cheaper option to ha. I don’t want to go anywhere near places I know it’s easy to get the stuff or come into contact with people who do it tbh. 

RelievedSheff

That sleep will do you good. Your body and mind needs it right now.

Hope you have another good day today

getmore4less

That's a pretty good catch up sleep should be feeling good today, don't let your guard down eat and drink properly.



Days out costing can wait, most won't start happening for quite a few weeks anyway and some will probably roll over into next year.

No point obsessing about squeezing them in, keep them for when you have nothing else to do and need a job to keep you busy, get the list out and pick one off,

Does not even have to be a full in depth sometimes if not a lot of time I just make a list of links(bookmark folder for each place) to go back to when I have more time.


I have one for one type of holiday with pre filled in searches for a few sites that I can activate in a new window and have all the tabs ready. 

For your trips where you might have an overnight you can bookmark the attractions and any hotels you like the look of and maybe a hotel search engine.


We are a fan of late lunch meal rather than evening often easier to get a deal and less crowded, might be an age thing.

Willowtree222

Not sure if you have spotted the pattern in behaviour after you have been on the stuff (sorry if you have posted about this)

You have it - really different mood
day 1-around day 14 afterwards you are struggling with sleep and mood more than ever
Around day 20 your posts start to change a lot more positive
30 days - it's like you have awakened and are in a lot better place. You cope with lack of sleep a lot better as well. 

I know the draw to keep doing it is probably always there but you seem so much better from around day 20 after not having any. 

Hopefully you can keep resisting and get yourself to where you need to be mentally x

elbree

10pm til 8am is a proper catch up sleep and totally normal for once in a while weekends. Great that you're planning meals and weekends - it's good to have a plan and stuff to look forward to. You can always tweak them later on. Bet your son is loving it!

alt80

Day 8. Planning an early one again. Going to bed after this. Been a hard one on the therapy today lot of bad thoughts about the way I’ve chosen to live my life. Def feel I need to make it up to my family and did spend sometime contemplating buying my wife a Balmain jacket this afternoon really not budgeted for I know.

@RelievedSheff yeah think you’re right need a lot of sleep right now.

@getmore4less had a decent set of meals wife made a paneer curry - no chicken, had an omelette for lunch lol. Probably am obsessing tbf mate spent a bit of time setting up a sheet for it this evening in front of tv started thinking about every potential cost getting stressed out tbh. Idk need to find the balance really list of linked bookmarked sounds good to me thanks.

I’m looking forward to my lunch meal 100% maybe growing up a bit ha because ikwyacf re less crowded etc.

@Nicnak thanks it causes me more issues these days than pleasure know that much. The draw to keep doing it is there starting to take the things I need to do to avoid the cravings becoming anything else seriously - it’s not worth it, half don’t know why I’m still interested in the stuff when it’s brought a lot of misery to my life, know it’s madness/ compulsion. Addictive behaviour. I’m like that for a lot of stuff but my use of cocaine was the most destructive. It had long stopped being a bit of fun I hate the stuff and some of the things it’s done to me tbh my fault for doing it know that much too.

alt80

Went to bed early no luck with the sleep tonight though. Been doing the exercises/ chill app not doing anything for me.

Just spent 15 mins watching my wife sleep lol always been the same she’s never struggled with it doesn’t get stressed like I do never has. Her birthday she’s said best present is me really working on getting clean idk all I can think about is not delivering.

@elbree thank you I missed your comment earlier. Possibly am up now after the marathon catch up sleep lol.

My son is loving the time I’ve got with family. He likes me being there. I do too when I don’t think about whether I’m wrecking his future or not. Don’t think I’m particularly good for anyone lol so worry about his future and how much he should spend time around me tbf.

RelievedSheff

Don't buy anyone anything. They do not need or want gifts. They need and want you.

Don't fall into the same old traps again.

Give them your time. 

ladyholly

I think your wife said it all The best  present is you getting clean. It is also th hardest - buying gifts is easy but stopping the drugs is much much harder but 100 times better for you all. You are not wrecking your sons future by being there with and for him you are doing the best thing you can. He will remember you being there not the stupidly expensive things he was bought.

elbree

Sounds like your wife and son are saying and showing that they love and appreciate you. It seems it's hard for you to believe that at the moment but your treatment will change that thinking. Showing your son you love and appreciate him by spending time with him could never be bad for him. It will help him avoid a negative self-image. Hope the sun is shining for your walk!