First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

Who works over Easter?

Come on give yourself a break. You should have Good Friday and Easter Monday off. They are bank holidays.

Some extra time with the family will do you some good.

foxgloves

Alt80, I can sympathise with the insomnia & overthinking. They can be a toxic & exhausting combination. I have got better at telling myself firmly "I will deal with this when & IF it happens". It is such stressful timewasting going over & over scenarios which then often end up working out ok, & even if they don't, are not as bad as feared. I know I will always have a tendancy to go over & over in my head those things which I wish I'd done differently, things I wish I'd never said, situations I wish I'd left earlier, but the simple truth is that this is completely pointless. Once we have processed the learning message from whatever it is, we have to let it go. There is that old cliche about not being able to change the past, but if we concentrate on the present, this is what will change the future. There's a lot of truth in it. Ultimately, I don't think anyone is going to be lying on their deathbed thinking "You know, if only I'd spent more time overthinking stuff, endlessly beating myself up & making myself feel worse"...... learn from those past behaviours you don't like in yourself & move on. Coming off the drugs is an achievement in itself. I think post-Lockdown, when the city centre opens up again, you should hold your head up high & say 'No thanks, Mate, I've actually found I feel a lot better without it".
You can' t change the past. Endless overthinking & regret bring nothing positive to the party. Concentrate on the present as the optimum way to build the future you want & feel proud of the changes you are making.
And bloody well take Easter off!
F

ladyholly

As your FiL was social worker I would say 100% he knew about the drugs. He may have seen much worse but they weren't married to his daughter, it makes a difference. I dont think he is being weird I think he is appreciating you getting clean and trying to support you. You may never be best buddies but give it a chance. Take it as an olive branch because you have changed.

I think the lack of trust goes both ways. She doesnt trust you not to start back with your old ways and you dont trust her not to spend vast sums of money on stuff that she doesn't need. You both need to prove over time that you can be trusted. You by staying clean and spending time with your family so she knows there is nothing going on and her by learning to contol her wants for very expensive stuff. I think the 2 are linked.  Trust takes time but keep at it and you will both arrive at the point you want to be.

alt80

Happy Monday 

This week looking like it’s going to be an expensive one (budgeted for expenses though so OK imo?). 

Trying to have a lunch break almost was a 5 min job but trying to get into bit better habits. Work planned out for the week. Wife’s done the Sainsbury’s order and sent me a few choices for tv this evening. She’s been off IG for over a week nothing else to do than walk the dog, fitness and sort our home life out haha. Son only at school today and tomorrow I think then off for Easter. Possibly should schedule in a few days to spend with them really. 

Wife being a nightmare on the car again thinks we should look at the estate C class so she can put the dog in it go for walks in the week outside of our immediate area also got some idea about carrying son’s bike around FML. I 100% don’t want a !!!!!! estate car. I know that it’s still just a mid spec C class but the coupe looks a lot better imo. Was considering if we could stretch the budget a bit for a base spec Cayman that way we’d have a decent little sports car and the Range Rover would be a good set up there for the budget but no wife thinks we need some !!!!!! dog wagon to carry god knows what BS she plans on loading it up with FML this is why I’ve not let her loose with car choices before she don’t get it one bit. 

@getmore4less yeah something like that.

100% know where you’re coming from re forecast with hindsight, I have tried to run varying scenarios not based on perfect deals/ timing/ conditions or whatever but doesn’t change the fact it’s hypothetical and I am where I am in life. Supply def an issue right now, it’s mad same thing happening on the sales and rental sides of the business too. Part of me planning for few years time if there’s a downturn get some units bought then also readying side of the business which will do better in a downturn. Right now things going well and staff well placed to handle. Possibly sound like the world’s biggest doom monger but actually feeling more positive than in a very long time in a lot of ways. 

Sounds like someone’s going to do well with that deal you mention. Tbh it’s great if you can get them but tend to be the exception rather than the rule and need to be able to play the long game sometimes to get what you want from the planners too.

@RelievedSheff I haven’t got anything planned in the diary work wise tbf feel a bit anxious about 4 days away completely though and meant to be having 2 weeks off later in the year ha.

@foxgloves yeah that’s what it is 100%. Went to bed after the post last night. Still awake 1.5 hours later couldn’t switch my brain off despite being whacked. Idk how to move forwards with that one but agree 100% no one going to be on their deathbed wishing they’d had more nights of !!!!!! sleep. Over think the potential of being around the stuff tbh you’re 100% right about the action I should take just paranoid in the moment I’ll make some stupid exception for it.

Definitely need to try to leave the past in the past though. 

@ladyholly yeah think what you say is true. Need to give her a chance tbh she’s finding stuff other than IG to do still looking at clothes etc online but not pulled the trigger on anything and been doing the chill app a lot. 

ladyholly

An estate may not be pretty but they are very practical especially for the dog and carrying the junk that tends to come with kids. You wouldn't want a muddy bike or dog in the RR. Carpets in the back of an estate are easily covered with a cheap tarpaulin so almost anything can be carried with no/minimal mess. 

RelievedSheff

Nothing wrong with a decent estate car when you have a family, child and dog and all of the associated clobber to cart around.

alt80

My problem is I need to get one car that does the job of two. Wife needs to be able to use it for day to day and would be nice if it’s good for the weekend too. Tbh I wouldn’t care if she bought an estate so long as it was something reasonable if I had an AM and my Range Rover.

Ultimately, I’ve got a decent family car another one not really needed. To my mind if we get a c coupe that would work well and if I could stretch it to a cayman not as practical (2 seats) but opens up doing some car stuff at least. Even the base one new is quick enough, meant to handle really well decent drivers by all accounts, wife can use in week and if the weather’s right I can leave her with the Range. Appreciate my mates into cars might laugh a bit but better than having no sports car imo. 

getmore4less

The wife's got her head screwed on re the cars,  
1st RR enough said
2nd practical family cheap to run car that won't need a clean and vacuum every time there is a tiny bit of dirt or dust or dog hair inside
3rd weekend toy.

Drop the badge and you will get something  cheaper and there are electric even cheaper to run..

strawb_shortcake

E-class estate is the best car I've ever driven, I had a really bad back at the time, drove from Bristol to Telford after work with a ridiculous diversion round Birmingham and got out feeling great. 
On Good Friday you could make hot cross buns with your Son, that takes up quite a bit of time, could even deliver some to your in laws...

warby68

Your wife has actually got more of an idea about cars and your life stage than you do lol
Your ideas are just all about you!