First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Day 68 - 10 weeks off it in two more days. 

Wife been to see her mum and dad. Planned to go on Friday as a family. Might ask if I can cook for them gives wife time with both her parents and son keeps me at a distance. She just sees wanting a relatively nice car that she can do kids stuff with. She won’t let it get into a mess which people on here seem to think we should be doing idk why. Wife doesn’t love running a coupe, prefers the Range. I don’t see the point in having 2 Range Rovers and nothing else not that I can get her another unless it’s one of the small models. She’s even looked at a new Defender run it as a company van lol you’d !!!!!! love that @warby68. Really struggled with the weather being nice, I know the best choice financially for my business is one of the electric cars. It !!!!!! kills me knowing I’m def not doing the best thing for my business looking at the mid spec C coupe or a cayman or something. I’m really struggling with the decision I made to let my f-type go think I was possibly too rash about it, acting from panic and not really thinking through the consequences of not having it. Had no hope of finding the balloon then the one for the Range Rover without some really severe card debt or pulling my retained / sinking fund I’m using for the refinance so that would have been stupid.

Keep thinking about maybe getting an XJS - lot cheaper to look after than an AM. Wife likes them a lot but she’s not keen likes the idea of another family car. She knows it’s worse than the Range but still wants to look at the EQC etc. I don’t get it and I get I probably do sound like some spoilt brat re cars. It’s the only interest I’ve got that’s not self destructive. My mate with the MG has invited me to a few car events that are meant to be happening later on in the year, I get he’s not being a !!!!!! but I don’t really want to just keep ignoring him. He’s a good mate and no real reason other than me not having a sports car to block him. Feel like !!!!!! whenever he sends me messages and I only read on notifications, make sure he doesn’t get a read receipt ha.

This week my wife is planning to spend on the tennis membership I get it’s something she wants to do and not a stupid amount of money when factored as a year. She has spent a lot of time on the Greece holiday and wants to get it wrapped up. Tbh all I see is a few £k that could be paid off my cards and that bit closer to my AM. Bit closer to being able to look at houses for me again. Idk why I’m even bothered suppose it’s just wanting to feel like I’m doing OK in life, next step. Doesn’t even feel the same when I do look at this stuff anymore, just start weighing up the spend v relative rewards. Another res home doesn’t really make a great case for itself and cars not really

alt80

Think I need to give up drinking for a bit again 😆 far too much last night. Woke up early now, feel terrible serves me right lol. Shouldn’t go on drinking binges over cars at my age really ha. Possibly do need to speak to the pros about the anger levels when the weather is nice and realise I’ve not got my f-type to go out in anymore. Smashed my fist into a solid brick wall again just feeling like an idiot now.

Only come on here after spending 15 mins trying to factor another f-type into my budget possibly should take excel off my phone really. 

RelievedSheff

Don't you see that the cars are self destructive for you?

If you didn't have to pay for the RR badge you would be in a much better position financially and would be a lot less stressed about where money was coming from and going.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to go out for a drive. But you can do that in any car, it doesn't have to be stupidly expensive or impractical. 

Having a family friendly car doesn't have to be boring in this day and age.

You really do need to grow up and realise that since you have created a family unit it isn't all about you and what you want anymore. It is about what is best for the family together, and that isn't a two seater car!!

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Think I need to give up drinking for a bit again 😆 far too much last night. Woke up early now, feel terrible serves me right lol. Shouldn’t go on drinking binges over cars at my age really ha. Possibly do need to speak to the pros about the anger levels when the weather is nice and realise I’ve not got my f-type to go out in anymore. Smashed my fist into a solid brick wall again just feeling like an idiot now.

Only come on here after spending 15 mins trying to factor another f-type into my budget possibly should take excel off my phone really. 

Speak to your counselling team and try to find a way to subdue your anger. 

That is quite worrying that you can get angry enough to hit a brick wall purely because you threw a strop about a sunny day!!

That isn't a great image to portray to your son and your wide will be worried you will turn to the coke again which will start her looking at IG again.

This is a vicious circle that you have to break.

warby68

At least you know you're an idiot, that's a good step. Sound like the pros are needed this am.
You are not your cars - that is still a big hurdle to get over but you need to.
Wife is right, you need a family vehicle because you don't run the RR as a family vehicle. Refusing to have a kid's bike in your cars is not something to be proud of. No, people don't wilfully trash their cars but they do live their lives and their children's lives with them not this fantasy, showroom condition, ego boost, you know what extension that you do. Its so simple that its skewed when your son can't chuck his bike in for a ride on a day out at 7 but you're proud of the tailgate IG worthy picnic feature and the massage.
Let wife lead. It will do you good
Contact MG mate and tell the truth, you'll be without a sports car for a while. He's offered a loan before. Get off your high horse. He sounds decent.
MSE truth is that the RR is too big a drain but you want to keep it. To do that a sports car next is too expensive and leaves a family life problem. A family car preserves the condition of the RR and your sanity about that as you want to keep it for ever, lord knows why. That pushes the sports car back a bit. Trying to make a batmobile or something out of what's available is futile 
You actually said you need 'balance on your drive' but that it wasn't about ego. Pull the other one.

I've got all the time in the world for your efforts to turn your life around and think you deserve huge credit but this car rubbish and your sense of frustrated entitlement and woe is me gets me. All it says is cars still come before family and I am more important than anyone else.

getmore4less

I had a couple more than I should have last night OH got a few when she went shopping. 
bed 10:30 up 4:30

Been on Amazon and my wish lists looking for any new vouchers and price drop, checking the warehouse is a pain.
It's the spend freeze kicking in again any savings will be in the order of 10% on stuff that costs less than £100 Could be waiting weeks and some are things we could be using now.


Just remind yourself what that F-type cost you per mile
Depending what you go for and your track record it has to be new and 5lt  when you sign on that dotted line you are  sticking another £70-£100k+ of debt onto you balance sheet. 

ladyholly

I am glad that it was drink last night not the drugs. From your posts you had me wondering and if I wondered I bet your wife did too.  Cars seem to be a trigger for you and while I know how it feels when the sun is shining and you see all the dropheads about, you are allowed to wish but to get to the point of punching the wall is a step too far. That is the action of a hormonal teenager not an adult. You have to take on board (learn) you cant always have what you want when you want  as does your wife and at this point in your life the sensible choice is a family car that can stand up to family life or is you son never to be allowed to get muddy/ sandy etc.

I would also add that many of the cars we have had have been great fun to drive 9other halfs opinion not mine).  It doesnt have to be a sports car or is it the image that you are after?

RelievedSheff

ladyholly said:

I am glad that it was drink last night not the drugs. From your posts you had me wondering and if I wondered I bet your wife did too.  Cars seem to be a trigger for you and while I know how it feels when the sun is shining and you see all the dropheads about, you are allowed to wish but to get to the point of punching the wall is a step too far. That is the action of a hormonal teenager not an adult. You have to take on board (learn) you cant always have what you want when you want  as does your wife and at this point in your life the sensible choice is a family car that can stand up to family life or is you son never to be allowed to get muddy/ sandy etc.

I would also add that many of the cars we have had have been great fun to drive 9other halfs opinion not mine).  It doesnt have to be a sports car or is it the image that you are after?

It's the badge he is after.

I'm not sure who is worse, Alt or his wife!!

woahsoah

I think it's a bit misleading to say "It’s the only interest I’ve got that’s not self destructive". Isn't a significant part of your debt due to cars.. I'd treat the RR as a family car but then RR owners I know have muddy wellies.

ThatKiss

I decided to chip in on the cars last night, but managed to lose the post.

It's clear that this is a major trigger for @alt80 but as with the JL spends, and the substances, hopefully the need to soften his stance kicks in.

The RR is a large contributor to the debts and if it's a no-go in terms of letting it go to ease cash flow, then I feel like the second car has to be something of a compromise for the time being, even if it's as a means to an end in terms of getting the debts paid down and allowing for a return to a sportier and/or weekend car in the future. Letting the wife lead here, as others have said, may be the way to go, but I'd be looking at doing away with the badge-w***ery and getting a Skoda Superb or similar if going down the estate route.

I've been there myself in terms of downgrading my main car to help pay off debts and also sacrificing my weekend car as part of the effort - my situation was different in that I own the weekend car outright but the ongoing maintenance and running costs were/are prohibitive, so it's currently locked away waiting for funds to become available to recommission it.

Point being, taking the short-to-mid term hit allows for a better outlook in the longer term. It's not what you want and not ideal, but it is worth the sacrifice.