First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@efes_shareholder thank you. I've used just about all the comparisons inc sky scanner. Gave up on the Greece trip quite quickly watched an episode of the garden programme, thanks @getmore4less wife loves the crime dramas too so will give some of those a go. She likes watching stuff for the second and third time sometimes. She's like a different person when I'm away from the office idk why.

Also read an interesting article on productivity/ 4 day week. Enjoy reading the business articles and a couple of books to investigate. Always looking to implement progressive policies for my staff where I can. My staff have (where it works) long been working a hybrid office / home model so for a lot of the them the wfh wasn't difficult to adapt too. I (and staff generally) missed the office lunches we have regularly good catch up and lots discussed. Probably sounds odd coming from me but know the work/home life balance is important for the staff. Already doing a lot for staff re the way work is prioritised/ to-do priorities etc. Generally had good feedback too. Anyway I've come to the conclusion I think not even joking I've kind of got an addiction to work. I know it's not always productive, I'm damaging relationships with my family etc but I can't stop. Can't even bear to leave my home office sometimes the panic starts if the wife expects me out for the evening or she does a date night etc. It's an obsession basically. Not because I don't get the fact it's unproductive time. I get that it's just weird anxiety/ panic if I'm doing something probably considered 'leisure'.

I know a lot on here have been trying to persuade me to get away from the desk and do other stuff I tend to go back to the unhealthy stuff sat at my desk all day and night pushing through urges to sleep/ eat/ whatever. Times I don't even go for a pee until the last minute because can't stop staring at some numbers or something lol. It's !!!!!! madness. There with the debts some day start obsessing over spending a quid or whatever. After saying I'd take my son to Maccys was thinking hope he orders the cheap one maybe shouldn't give him free rein FML things aren't that !!!!!! desperate. Could really fancy a few beers tomorrow/ Saturday spent a time obsessing over it kept putting the estimated spend in the tracker, taking it out, putting it back in idk why. Easily within alcohol budget for the month but I'm agonising over anything but essential spends constantly. It's really !!!!!! odd behaviour I know that ha just don't know how to stop it.

Brain dump ha wife brought it up too - any !!!!!! wonder she thinks about finding someone else when all I think about is work/ units/ new units/ debts etc. She reckons I 'don't know what life is' lol idk maybe got a point. My only switch offs/ releases are really self destructive realised that so not really an option to start doing those things again and I find the family stuff exhausting for no reason whatsoever but just do.

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver ha yeah my disposable is pretty poor lol.

ladyholly

I wonder if your problems leaving work behind is to do with your mother working so hard and her attitude that time spent not working is wasted.Perhaps subconsciously you are trying to prove you are a hard worker. It might be worth exploring with your counsellor. The fact you feel exhausted when you join your family is fairly normal I would say. When you stop and relax tiredness sets in. I wonder how many on here have a few minutes after their dinner or while watching TV. 

alt80

@ladyholly I !!!!!! hate being tired.

Ha on subject of working obsession something from alcohol cutting thread that I've managed to ruin someone said it seems my brain always switched on at 1000mph or something lol. Can be like that tbh wish I could work 100% all day everyday, I !!!!!! hate the enforced rest need to find some way to eliminate the need for that tbt. Lot of the reason I was and still am quite keen on trying for a prescription of Ritalin, it's meant to be good for focus and not going to give the crash etc I don't think. The natural stimulants don't do much for me (tried) and I def want to stay off the other stuff. I know I've got no chance with the GP so wasting my time thinking about it again really but it's on my mind and wife goes mad when I've mentioned it to her.

enthusiasticsaver

If you take Ritalin when you don't have ADHD it can give you all sorts of nasty side effects including interfering with sleep patterns and affecting brain chemistry. I don't think you need that. 

JCS1

I have a long history of depression, and one of my main issues is overthinking. I have to keep myself occupied with work or a hobby so i don't overthink. I wonder if you working may be something similar  - may be worth exploring with your counsellor 

theoretica

alt80 said:

 I !!!!!! hate the enforced rest need to find some way to eliminate the need for that tbt.

No.  You need to come to terms with being a human, biologically speaking.  No mammal can go flat out forever - they all need sleep, food and periods of taking it comparatively easy.

RelievedSheff

Being tired at the end of a working day is entirely normal. By the time we have finished work, had a shower, had dinner and washed the pots we are both knackered. We chill in front of the TV for a hour and then go to bed. During the week it is a late night if we are up past 9pm.

You need to let your body get into a natural rhythm of sleep, work and relax. Don't try to fight it or change one stimulant for another. You need to listen to what your body is trying to tell you not mask it's signals with yet more drugs. That won't do you any good.

ryanm8655

A small thing I’d add. The fact you work a lot is not any excuse for your wife’s behaviour. In your shoes I’d probably think of some way to blame myself too, so it’s very much do as I say not as I do (I’m also weird). But personally I’d probably spend all my time in the office if I had to put up with how your wife treats you. My anxiety would be through the roof and I’d be doing anything to avoid that. No wonder you let her fork out thousands on bags. Needs to stop though. Respect yourself more. It’s different because you are married and have a child but have been in that sort of relationship before and it was mental torture for me. Not saying you’re a saint but hopefully one day you respect yourself enough to stop blaming yourself for other people’s glaring issues.

amanda_p

I would hope your Doctor wouldn't consider giving you Ritalin. It is a brain altering drug. You have already wrestled with the effects of cocaine, you don't need something else added to the mix. Whilst it used to be widely prescribed for children with ADHD it is not used so much now. Stay well away.