First Steps to Solvency

Onebrokelady

RelievedSheff said:

dawnybabes said:

warby68 said:

Am I reading that right? She's tapping up your druggy mate.

So she’s impressed with him not for his drug habit but his wealth ? You really need to take stock and make some big decisions, you are worth so much more than this. 

She is being incredibly hypocritical saying that Alts problem is the coke and then flirting with JV guy who is heavily into the stuff.

She really does need to take stock of how good she actually has it.

Failing that pack her a bag and send her off to JV guy. They sound ideal for each other!

I think that would be the perfect solution 😊

getmore4less

alt80 said:

@stymied you’re right re school back never thought about that. Tbh would rather she kept out of the dev projects all going very well right now as they are. If she shows an interest it’s a 5 min wonder and that’s it same with any other work.

@getmore4less good call mate. She did get a really decent deal tbh dinner/ breakfast included. Genuinely have paid well over £500 for similar thing and reviews all look great so should be decent all being well.

Going to cost a bit for drinks and no doubt she’ll have a couple of treatments but shouldn’t be extortionate. Probably not going to visit anywhere - would rather avoid the shops ha.

@RelievedSheff quite looking forward to it myself now lol. 

@warby68 yeah. 

Just aware of the it started out cheap but  look at the final bill routine.
It happened a lot to us so now I plan door to door costs including fuel.

It is important as part of the planning to decide which category the extras go.
Drinks with meal I would stick in Occasions it is the anniversary
Spa comes out of one of her categories(beauty?)
Fuel for the RR, trip budget.

whatever works for you but get it agreed before you go or that spas bill is on you.


Next time your mate phones say "I am busy, will pass you over to the wife she has SFA to do and needs the chat".

Iamouttheotherside

Send the screenshots that your druggie mate sent to you of their "conversations" on IG directly to her father!   Play the victim yourself for a while!  What an absolute cow, and as others have said you deserve better than that!

alt80

Mother's Day mission sorted. 

Ha no chance he'll take her off my hands. All on me but just a matter of time until she finds someone to give her a better life than I ever could realistically she wasn't going to put up with this. I can't carry on living as I was though just killing myself really. 

@getmore4less thanks hadn't really considered that. Should have I know, possibly some kind of denial on my part of the fact it is going to cost more than what's already been spent out so far. Really starting to realise just how much everything in life costs - used to spend out no thought whatsoever. Thinking about it does make me assess the worth of the spend. Think it was you who said something about spend freeze ages ago to me never really experienced it until very recently.

Drinks in occasions sounds right to me too. Will throw it on mine to keep wife's intact. Not planning to drink stupid amounts so all being well won't be too bad. 

Haha no chance will she have the treatments coming off her beauty budget probably come out of my occasions budget too or entertainment but then son misses out so would rather not. 

Fuel - was hoping to not go out another time that month so will come out of the usual budget but also thinking not really fair to son to say he's not going anywhere that month so yeah probably some out of the trips budget instead.  

Def developed some admiration for those living on super tight budgets - people running households on £2-2.5k/m some of my tenants in that situation, some worse but can think of one not that long ago I took out for lunch after buying their first home still living life managed to save deposit for a home and kept having the holidays etc. 

stymied

Perhaps take the whole bill out of holidays but try and estimate / cap the total before you go? No more than £100 on treatments? If you spread it between multiple pots it will be harder to appreciate the whole cost when planning in the future. May need an anniversary amount in the occasions budget next year although one of the meals out could be transferred over to offset?

ladyholly

I cant believe your wife. seems the money is more importsnt to her thn the person. Very shallow and I dont know how you are tolerating her behaviour. As has been said before a suitcase by the door and tell her she is free to leave any time. Call her bluff.

I dont know your area at all but are there that many people with the sort of income that would suit her lifestyle who would (a) not be married and (b) looking for a 30odd year old with very expensive taste and (c) appears to be very selfish and immature. I am surprised you are still putting up with her. I still think you should have a heart to heart with her parents and play the victim  a little saying you dont know what to do with her as all she wants to do is ********* and now she is trying to come on to your mate who up till now she didnt even want in the house. At the very least they might learn something about their "little princess".

Bargainhunter30

I've said before but we are a family of 4 and live on between £1.8k and £2.5k net income a month. I would not say we are poor, far from it and we have regular luxuries. Three takeaways so far this week, whilst we get our kitchen redone. We will be buying several new surf boards in next couple of months and as soon as everything reopens we will be shopping for new clothes and going on a couple of holidays. We can afford this because we are MSE, we get the beat value of everything we buy and we only buy if we really need or want something. I refuse to waste any money, I make it work for me.

Bargainhunter30

P.s. your wife needs a reality check like everyone else has said. Who does she think she is, not working, expecting everyone to pander to her. Stop doing it, it is making her worse. I know you are scared of her leaving but she is using that against you to get what she wants.

strawb_shortcake

ladyholly said:

I cant believe your wife. seems the money is more importsnt to her thn the person. Very shallow and I dont know how you are tolerating her behaviour. As has been said before a suitcase by the door and tell her she is free to leave any time. Call her bluff.

I dont know your area at all but are there that many people with the sort of income that would suit her lifestyle who would (a) not be married and (b) looking for a 30odd year old with very expensive taste and (c) appears to be very selfish and immature. I am surprised you are still putting up with her. I still think you should have a heart to heart with her parents and play the victim  a little saying you dont know what to do with her as all she wants to do is ********* and now she is trying to come on to your mate who up till now she didnt even want in the house. At the very least they might learn something about their "little princess".

I think there is d) too, someone that is going to welcome a young child  along with her.

I think I said before about my cousin's ex, she met someone on a "rich old man" dating site, she did find someone but  in return for the champagne lifestyle she walked away from her child and also found herself having to work for a living. The man was a good 20 years older than her too, so no sexy fit footballer for her.

I don't actually think she wants to leave Alt, it's just a stick to beat after not getting her own way as there seems to be a pattern, but I think I'd be looking calling her bluff sooner than later is going to be easier in the long run whichever way it goes. 

ladyholly

I don't actually think she wants to leave Alt, it's just a stick to beat after not getting her own way as there seems to be a pattern, but I think I'd be looking calling her bluff sooner than later is going to be easier in the long run whichever way it goes.

I totally agree. Alt is going to have to make a decision at some point because she is not doing his mental health any good. It is just a shame that she will take their son with her because I dont believe she is a good influence on him.
Sorry alt to talk as though you are not here.