First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

I hate to tell everyone £18 for a dinner plate is at the cheaper end of china prices for a well known brand. My good set costs at 2nd hand prices about £40 - £50 each if you can get them as it is a discontinued pattern. I would add that as we used to sell that sort of stuff we bought it at cost price and have had it for about 45 years.  If you buy a quality bone china it is far stronger than earthenware or porcelain. We used to have a rep for one of te big china companies that would hit the edge of a dinner plate with a steel pen and would then stand on it to demonstrate although it looks fragile it isnt. Mind if you drop it on a quarry tiled floor it stands no better chance than anything else.

So I dont sound too ridiculous my everyday set cost about £15 for 4 plate settings and came from A***s.

enthusiasticsaver

If there is a travel ban in October you should get a refund from the airline but I can understand your hesitance. The flights will get more expensive as things become clearer so it is a dilemma and one reason we have decided not to travel abroad this year and gone for hotels in uk with flexible dates. 

We have Denby china  and the plates there are expensive but we use them all the time and this is the second set we have had since marrying 39 years ago and the first set is still being used by our daughter. I would rather pay a decent price and get a set which lasts. Denby is almost unbreakable though unless we drop on our quartz worktop accidentally. 

getmore4less

What you should have said is

I guess we won't be needing a new pate as you want to be leaving all the time....

Followed by

if you are staying which of YOUR budget pots do we take it off  or  I could get it for your birthday.

stymied

I love that everyone else is more !!!!!! off with alt’s wife than he is 😂 Could we maybe ease off the bashing a bit though please? It’s getting a big uncomfortable.

strawb_shortcake

stymied said:

I love that everyone else is more !!!!!! off with alt’s wife than he is 😂 Could we maybe ease off the bashing a bit though please? It’s getting a big uncomfortable.

I have to agree,  I think Alt's wife does come across as a very loving and dedicated Mum, and we all have our flaws 

getmore4less

Not bashing just offered some comebacks against the more childish/manipulation behaviour.

I was going to add make sure the bedside table organiser birthday present has a tissues box for all the sulks and tears.

alt80

Hope everyone has had a nice Saturday. 

Got through my walk but not been well again, absolutely whacked still. Managed to get through the week and crash at the weekend seems to be what’s happening, I slept through most of the rugby. I’ve got to get through the day tomorrow for Mother’s Day. Self / wife enforced quieter week next week on the work front. I’m still not sleeping particularly well and struggle to switch off hopefully the quieter week will get my brain to relax a bit more. Not a holiday as such will still be working everyday but no fee earners and just a few hours try to get my sleep a bit better and try to relax a bit.

Wife has found a new favourite app one of the clothes buying/ selling apps but for the high end stuff. She’s after a bag on there £1.75k, promised me she’s going to sell some stuff and it’s a ‘bargain’. Angry I’ve told her to sell some stuff first and upset she could miss out FML can’t win. Bit of an argument lost it a bit and told her I’ve got staff who see less than that bag costs a month. I think about it that way and am really !!!!!! angry with myself for not thinking before I bought stuff in the past seeing a couple of £k like most people see £10, sniffing coke to feel like I was a lot more big time than I am ultimately because I’ve never had any sense of self worth. No !!!!!! wonder I need the therapy ha. Really grateful to be in a position I’ve got the PMI tbh - some great support on the counselling side I know I’d be struggling to get if I wasn’t in the position I am. 

Think she realises I’m not going to buy her stuff now - I used to buy her stuff all the time, trying to make it up for putting up with me, know it didn’t. Knew then really if I was honest with myself. She didn’t really buy that much waited for me to buy it. It’s like she’s taking it in to her own hands what I won’t provide, she’ll get herself or something idk. Look back at all the time and money I’ve wasted whilst on the stuff, tended to be when I’d buy a lot of things for her when I was sniffing it a lot never want to go back to that. Half think she’d rather I did. 

Struggling to laugh off what she sent to my mate tbh keep thinking about it. She sends blokes messages has done for years, goes on the pull when she goes out with the girls etc. Suppose I always thought doesn’t really matter what she does on a night out, she doesn’t actually cheat know that much and used to be confident she’d always come back to me. She says it was just banter idk it’s hard to deal with when I know she’s disappointed with me. Just a brain dump ha. @annabanana82 she is a really good mum. Tbh good with other kids too, when we’re out of lockdown they’ll be round here for the football etc they love it lol. @getmore4less think we’ve got a bit of a similar sense of humour mate some of your comebacks make me smile. Sort of thing I’d say if I wasn’t trying to be on my best behaviour all the time ha.

Practically begged her to do the counselling with me - meant to happen as part of dealing with my issues but she’s always refused. Close as she’s got was telling my counsellor she’s never done drugs so not getting dragged into it. Even her parents told her to give it a chance. Idk seems I’m finally in a position to be there for my family, put them first and she’s just slipping away maybe that’s my punishment losing my family just when I’m really trying to do the right thing.

Re plate - @getmore4less sorry you’re wrong mate. It’s Denby halo and yeah pretty much indestructible only second or third piece broken in nearly 11 years since we got it as a wedding present from her parents. Been added to since then but still got what they bought. Was quite funny actually she sort of accidentally pushed it off the worktop and we both tried to catch it from crashing on the floor. Neither of us saved it. Will order another. 

Re Greece - def a bit of logistics involved and not a cheap hop compared to a lot of the more popular islands. Sister always moans about it - she hates how much it costs. Every time she falls out with parents 100 guarantee she’ll lose the !!!!!! plot and will tell them they could have moved to Corfu or some other Greek tourist hellhole made more ££££££s with direct flights from her local airport so it didn’t cost her money haha. 

Wife found momondo - I was using sky scanner. She got a bit better deal. We are slightly flexible- times no probs but dates only flexible by 3 days Friday - Saturday - Sunday. London airport not ideal but most likely. Luckily my mate with the MG has said he doesn’t mind doing an airport run and ok with London. I often take him and his Mrs to the airport so a favour rather than costing me £££s. Just got to put up with 3 hours in a Land Rover 90 unless I let him drive the Range FML but probably better than spending a load of money on airport parking lol.

Possibly am overthinking it a bit. Overthinking any spending tbh right now.

RelievedSheff

You do have a tenancy to over think things. But I guess that is better than the other extreme and just spending without a thought about where the money is coming from.  You just need to find that happy medium.

It does seem that your wife is finally starting to realise that she is going to have to work to a budget. She is making slow progress in the right direction. 

I hope you all have a nice family mother's day today. I'm sure the wife will appreciate it.

getmore4less

I have squeezed some flight via the various options but some of the actual booking sites need a bit of research.
My best savings have been last minute fly in the next few days

I find if you use a few engines you sometimes get routing options that are not obvious.
Less of a problem if you know where you are going and direct are the preference.
I have had 25% cheaper say £300 rather than £400 but 32hr with 2 changes  or  8hr direct,  pay the extra £100 every time.

With this is a trip where you have to balance the the convenience against the £. its not as if you HAVE to save the £ remind yourself this is about value and one areas where you can get that is your convenience.

With a ferry involved maybe if Santorini is the hopping point then a night or two at each end might line up with flight better.
We do this now on some of our trips to reduce the risk of any flight delays so we don't mis onward travel and make the travel days a lot less stressed and rushed. 

For scheduled airlines I also use a US site called bt-store  it links with fareboom sometimes finds good deals more often for the the USA.

if you slept through both games might be worth picking up the highlights of the England game before or after todays match it was a good one.

Best behaviour is good but she is pressing your buttons a lot so time to give back a bit.
if not a cheater then probably it will be all show anyway,  when the push came and someone came on to her for real she would run scared.
I guess we  all like those still got it moments but they come to nothing you carry on the day and end up going home.

With you on the sell/get rid of stuff before getting anything new. one or more out before anything new comes in.
Wished that worked in our house I have a bargain hunter,  raids charity shops and gets some seriously good stuff but tends to keep rather than sell on.
Lockdown has been great nothing new for months just wish she would do more of the selling on so we could get a bedroom back. 

Have you tried the  Denby seconds, plate £11.20
https://www.denbypottery.com/halo-seconds/plate/199050105
or a set of 4 from amazon £12:60 each delivered (spares for life)

Still a lot going on,  a  full on fee earning week every now and then is probably good you get a buzz from those even if they take their toll on the energy levels.  then consolidate looking/planning forward,  those planned busy weekends  has made a massive difference keeps you away from trouble. 

On the spending there is another way to look at it,  once you decide you are going to do something or buy something the diminishing returns come into play,  you pull in ~£2k net a week so your time is valuable,  the distraction and pleasure from the deal is only worth so much, that first bit off the top comes quick but the time spent to save the next cut gets longer  and longer so your effort is better directed to work or relaxation.

The wife on the other hand earns nothing so her time saving a few £ is worth it.
It also cuts down her thinking about spending time which is where there is  real value.

Just keep remining yourself(and the wife) you are in a very good place  and this has not been luck it is hard work and well deserved. 

warby68

Another Denby user here. 
Actually still get odd bits and pieces with Tesco clubcard vouchers - its not bad at  3 x value (just chucking a bit of MSE stuff in)

Your wife is really putting you through it again with the spending demon but glad you're standing firm. High end fashion with seasons is a true mugs game. Its just Top Shop on steroids. 

Holiday plans sound good. You're new to the bargain hunting. The happy medium will come. Getting best value includes how much time you allocate to searching as your time is also valuable. Wife can devote more as she doesn't have as many other 'valuable' activities but knowing when to stop and be happy with the deal is also good. 

I hope you have a lovely family day today. I've had my first coffee in bed from the nocturnal son. They're doing brunch together later. The sons shouldn't be here but sometimes its nice that they are.