First Steps to Solvency

alt80

No, I’m not falling to sleep or anything. Possibly do need to review diet / water intake idk do need to eat more get to dinner time and no appetite anyway so don’t suppose it matters what I have. Just !!!!!! every evening, can’t do anything apart from watch tv or listen to audiobooks after my son has gone to bed. Still forcing myself to spend time with him and read to him when he goes to bed but I’m tired playing with him. Had to think helping him with spelling tonight idk why getting really !!!!!! worried about my health tbh back on one med journal article most days can’t do anymore. Glad I’m doing the family time though it’s good. Tomorrow is Friday and I’m currently thinking thank !!!!!! it’s nearly time for a day off I’m that tired right now. Hate myself for it but I’m so tired I couldn’t work a full day Saturday and Sunday too. All we’ve planned this weekend are some walks and couple of films I’m not even up to doing anything else. Not even cooking, wife is. This is on her orders FML. Really disappointed / frustrated with myself tbh.

Concentration and productivity levels are up during most of the working day, properly planned out productive days tbf but nowhere to be found in the evening. Bit of a cognitive decline from about 3pm tbh plan the business development and anything complex on the figures in the morning as get to 3/4pm I’m starting to decline so just get the easier stuff done towards the end of the working day. Its really frustrating, also want to do some proper reading on the investing but I can’t concentrate enough to learn anything new properly past about 6pm - it’s really weird and gives me the cravings for the chang tbh know it’d power me through but not going there. So tired after dinner I make really stupid errors why I restrict tracking my personal finances to times I know I’m not that tired. It’s odd 100% last night managed to read two articles on Rishi’s budget couldn’t do anymore because I was so tired idk !!!!!! is wrong with me. Could probably do with a prescription of Ritalin or something tbh for my poor concentration but no !!!!!! chance of the GP giving me that not even any point in asking.

@enthusiasticsaver / @annabanana82 my wife would love the shows if they are west end type productions. I’d like the talk about the boat find big engineering quite interesting but I don’t fancy being crammed in with a load of people round a pool. Not my thing tbh not the wife’s either. Wife’s plan was for son not to come with us tbh think someone said wouldn’t be great for kids. Her other option is centre parcs with son. Wife would love that just as much as the kid lol. Tbh if I could find the energy could probably enjoy it too. Anyway no one on here should be telling me to spend my money. 😆

RelievedSheff

What you are describing is normal. Feeling tired after a day at work is normal. I'm often starting to flag at about 3pm if I have had a busy day.

Your diet won't be helping matters. You really need to eat properly as a family. 

Onebrokelady

alt80 said:

Re scans- Paid for the body scans before, wife doesn’t want me going down the health road again but I’m not going to get obsessive about it - get the tests done and park it if nothing found. Know it’ll cost me - already asked to be sent on referral but fobbed off again and as said before my insurance doesn’t cover speculative tests. GPs just fob me off like they always do never take my health problems seriously. 

Not being a hypochondriac about it but fatigue can be a symptom of heart issues. Every evening 7-8pm ish I’m completely whacked to the point I could get in bed that is 100% not normal. Don’t get breathless or anything like that but do think there might be something not quite right. Off the stimulants so not that most days hardly even have any caffeine. This morning I did have 2 3 shot coffees back to back just to see if I got the palpitations. GP won’t even run bloods, did have a blood test not that long ago and it was all ok but wasn’t as whacked then.

Don’t want to be one of those people who have something undetected for years and at the point the professionals actually investigate got some incurable disease or dodgy organ that could have been dealt with at an earlier point but too late - see them in the news all the time. 100% they probably think I’ve been on the chang and wasting their time, don’t blame them really but told them they can drug test me any day they like if that reassures them. 

Re cruise/ hols - thanks. I don’t really fancy it personally. @annabanana82 you’ve not made me any more keen ha. Wife looking as she’s off IG probably idk just hope she doesn’t book anything tbh. 

Re milk - haha all coming out of hiding now lol. Wife has said that about butter v spreads too. 

Tiredness can be caused by so many different things and I would say yours is down to dietary issues, However I am going to say that if a battery of tests will put your mind at rest and you will then STOP worrying about it you should go for it, but only if that will be enough to stop you worrying, if you are going to pay for loads of tests and then worry they might have missed something you are wasting your money. I have to be honest with the way my health is and the fact that I am fobbed off by doctors on the rare occasions I do go I would pay for private tests for the peace of mind it might give me if I could afford it 

warby68

Done quite a few cruises - Med, Baltics, Caribbean. Love them actually and so did the boys. TBH though a cruise to nowhere sounds more like an upmarket ferry booze cruise with poor odds for the weather. OK I suppose as a taster but must admit cruising wouldn't be on my radar at all for a while yet.  

You don't sound brilliant at the moment @alt80. Getting very worked up about being tired and the budget again and bashing yourself. Are you keeping up with the counselling? Honestly, being tired when you're working hard and inadvertently dieting as well as coming off a long spell of chemical assistance is more than likely perfectly normal. Why not give in a bit and have a couple of proper early nights, and get some proper food inside you. Learning about investing might be something for a rainy weekend not an evening after full mentally taxing days. 

And yes you get more tired at 40 than at 30, just the way it is.

Park the scan idea for a month and see how you feel with some proper food, good self care and a bit longer off the drugs.

strawb_shortcake

To be fair I was trying to highlight the pitfalls of a cruise and that it may well cost you more than you think  
With restrictions in place with the swimming I wouldn't consider center parcs for awhile, if you are spending then you need to get the most value you can out of it. 
Your wife might not like it, but the holiday that's going to offer you the most value and most worthwhile is going to be visiting your parents.

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver / @annabanana82 my wife would love the shows if they are west end type productions. I’d like the talk about the boat find big engineering quite interesting but I don’t fancy being crammed in with a load of people round a pool. Not my thing tbh not the wife’s either. Wife’s plan was for son not to come with us tbh think someone said wouldn’t be great for kids. Her other option is centre parcs with son. Wife would love that just as much as the kid lol. Tbh if I could find the energy could probably enjoy it too. Anyway no one on here should be telling me to spend my money. 😆

Some cruises are ok for kids as they have lots of activities, kid clubs and their own areas of the ships . I don't think P and O are doing any cruises until September though so presume other cruise companies are the same.  We have a family trip booked to Centre Parcs with my daughters, son in law and granddaughters and I don't have any issue spending our money on that.  Holidays are important to us though as we can all get together as a family. Loads for everyone to do, lots of social distancing space and just chill out time even for us as retirees. All being well the restrictions will be totally lifted by June and swimming will be allowed albeit with less people which is no bad thing as I guess they will operate a booking system. Our country club pool opens in May so I am sure if you pick a later time in the year than May/June you should be ok.  At Longleat they have water sports as well although I guess you will go to Sherwood. 

A break from routine especially at the moment is important I think. Not that cheap though especially if in school holidays and you pick the luxury lodges. 

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

Concentration and productivity levels are up during most of the working day, properly planned out productive days tbf but nowhere to be found in the evening. Bit of a cognitive decline from about 3pm tbh plan the business development and anything complex on the figures in the morning as get to 3/4pm I’m starting to decline so just get the easier stuff done towards the end of the working day. Its really frustrating, also want to do some proper reading on the investing but I can’t concentrate enough to learn anything new properly past about 6pm - it’s really weird and gives me the cravings for the chang tbh know it’d power me through but not going there. So tired after dinner I make really stupid errors why I restrict tracking my personal finances to times I know I’m not that tired. It’s odd 100% last night managed to read two articles on Rishi’s budget couldn’t do anymore because I was so tired idk !!!!!! is wrong with me. Could probably do with a prescription of Ritalin or something tbh for my poor concentration but no !!!!!! chance of the GP giving me that not even any point in asking.

That sounds pretty normal to me.  I always read anything needing concentration or do complicated  mathematical calculations in the morning if possible. Learning about investing needs concentration so look at that when you are alert in the morning not the evening when your brain probably feels like mush. All the jargon used initially will mean you really need to listen or read several times to the same things to really get it.  As I say Monevator do some really good beginner articles for investing and I don't remember them being that complicated to understand. 

 Not much in that budget for you unless the rise in corporation tax affects you in 2023 and reassuringly for you I guess he has lit the flames under the property market by extending the stamp duty holiday at the same time as 5% deposit mortgages seem to be back on the agenda.  Although that might mean increased prices for buying new units so may not be so good. More valuations needed though if you are involved in residential valuations. You are doing so well steering clear of the substances but you do seem unusually obsessive about your health and I personally don't think there is anything wrong with you apart from maybe not having enough iron in your diet, not sleeping great and maybe a touch of anxiety over your symptoms.  I certainly would not be asking the GP for prescription drugs as a first step.  

theoretica

alt80 said:

Concentration and productivity levels are up during most of the working day, properly planned out productive days tbf but nowhere to be found in the evening.

But overall are you getting the same amount of good productive stuff accomplished?  More than before these changes?  Or less?  Doing more in less time is likely to be a fast pace you can't keep up for as many hours as when you were not working as intensively. 

alt80

Scan - Unfortunately found the scan with my pref provider is just under £2700 to do the heart CT as well as all the rest not sure I can do through company as I have the health ins through my company but will speak to accountant. Make sure I’ve not !!!!!! myself with the stuff. Its in London so not sure if even allowed to go until lockdown lifted - been there before just had basic one then - they’ve got a new scanner since. They are actually recommending to do the speculative full scan around age 40 anyway so have sent an enquiry.

Before anyone says it - no I’ve not budgeted for this - I said I wouldn’t do it again after the health counselling ended (had massive problems with health anxiety few years back). This isn’t health anxiety it’s normal concern about a health problem, not been on the journals much and it’s not obsessive. 100% know the professionals brush me off because I’ve got the adverse on my medical history. They look at me differently I’m certain of that and I’d put money on if my wife gave them the symptoms they do more testing, probably give her something for the concentration too. When I had symptoms of a cancer I had to spend out on speculative to get a proper negative diagnosis that I actually trusted wasn’t just a brush off. NHS without even doing much came to the conclusion that was correct tbf but did so little in terms of investigative tests because I didn’t have the main red flag that it was basically a hunch imo, I asked for the tests and they refused to send me off told me to cut the amount of coffee I was drinking work on stress management and some other !!!!!! useless stuff come back in a month if no better. Fact is that could have spread in that time if it had been cancer - no medical degree here but even I know that. Wife just thinks I’m being mental about this but £2.7k is no price to put on your life. If there’s something wrong that’s just going to get worse it’ll get to a point they can’t fix it. You don’t know that’s 10 years, 10 months or 10 days. Not sure I can settle without it wish I could as I don’t really want to spend the money but I don’t want to regret this.

Hols - we have a budget of £3k for the rest of the year for hols/ family days out. Might end up going on my scan instead tbh. We are meant to be going to Greece Covid permitting that’s going to be cheap - about £750 in total staying with parents literally need return flights/ ferry and that’s it will hardly buy anything there more expensive at home 100%.

Wife wants to do the wedding anniversary hotel that’s £245 so we’re up to £995 total (no scan). I’m happy to leave it there and take son on a couple of day trips and have a big underspend. Still have the £250 entertainment budget every month which not even getting touched at the moment just making overpayments. Realistically some of that will be spent on more local days out too so it’s not that bad. Wife wants another hol though so max £2k (no scan). I’ve got my £1k personal which can 100 go towards the scan if I go ahead so it should be ok to do Greece, wedding anniversary and the scan.

Budget - yeah nothing new from everything speculated/ leaked anyway from what I could tell. Corp tax, sent accountant email for meeting about that on the ball ha. Knew about it anyway and suspected some sort of sliding scale which will help my other ltds but not main one. Tend to leave this stuff to accountant his area of expertise. 

I am involved in the residential sector - again nothing I didn’t already know there really. Tbh would rather have the main business busy than be able to pick a few cheap units up. Can pick those up in a few years time when I’m in a better position and the market may have quietened. Make more from vals than portfolio by a long way would be !!!!!! if I only had my portfolio to rely on ha def not like my mate who doesn’t even have to lift a finger to take a much bigger income than I do lol.

Concentration - @theoretica I’m getting a lot more done everyday on the work front 100%. Absolutely smashing it business wise tbh just can’t do anything else of an evening. Don’t know what’s wrong with me need the diagnosis I think. As I say I really want to start some proper reading on the investments - looks really interesting and something I could maybe get some enjoyment out of when the money side is a bit straighter. 

Counselling - @warby68 yes I’m still doing the counselling. Day 44 today. Still not had a drink or touched anything stronger. I’m ok apart from my health that’s my main concern. It’s not mental, I’m !!!!!! every single evening and don’t need a medical degree to know it’s not normal to be this tired. Can’t explain just how bad it is not kidding when I say I’m having issues retaining information and with concentration. Past few nights I’ve been picking three random phone numbers to learn next morning can’t fully recall more than 1. Never been the brightest button in the box granted but I’m usually alright with recall and numbers. 

Sure if you were in my position you’d be concerned about health and budget too. I need to stick to it. Want to smash it tbh, make the overpayments and be in a better position than predicted. Can’t wait to !!!!!! the debts off that I’ve ran up in the past for stupid !!!!!! and start making some inroads into having a future. I could be in a good position financially if I keep doing the right things repeat and reinvest everything I can. Completely stoked for it since I worked out the position I can be in sticking to what I think is a sustainable budget - used to buy a lot of !!!!!! I didn’t need and spaff a lot on wasted items/ experiences that didn’t provide me with good value. Thought most people on here (especially you actually as this is all the stuff you’ve been saying from day 1) would get that not be trying to persuade me to spend on stuff that won’t help me in the long run. 

KxMx

Alt the reason you could work long hours 7 days a week was down to the substances. 

You are no longer using and are now finding out what is very normal in terms of tiredness, it is normal to feel tired in the afternoon then even more so in the evening. It is normal to do a full weeks work and not be able to do as much at the weekend. 
It is normal as you age to see increased fatigue. Ask any 30yo if they can drink as much with little effect the next day as they could when they were 20!
Normal, normal, normal and absolutely not worth spending thousands on a scan. 

Ask GP to check Vitamin D (most adults in this country are deficient over winter due to lack of sun, sometimes the treatment dose is OTC sometimes it's prescription strength), iron and B12 by all means, improve your diet, you definitely should be eating before exercise and eating starchy carbs after because that is what the body needs to use for recovery. 

There is absolutely no way any GP would prescribe Ritalin or similar just for tiredness and poor concentration, for anyone...

I'd also disagree and say you are obsessing and fixating on this issue...Read the past few pages of your diary.

Call the drug helpline and talk to someone more knowledgeable about changes after you stop using, how you're struggling to figure out what's normal and what isn't. Perhaps it's a stage of withdrawal that with time will pass.