First Steps to Solvency

SuperSavingD

Stop putting yourself down, your are doing amazing by staying off the Drugs, so that’s a massive win.  By abstaining you are also clearing the debt a lot quicker but you won’t reap the rewards until next month.  Please go easy on yourself - you are doing amazing x

woahsoah

Why are you keeping the BMW? Won't that seriously help the debt?

Are you not able to do a director's loan to yourself/wife and clear the debt? To save on any cc interest

RelievedSheff

Why don't you run some figures keeping the BMW and then run them again with the BMW gone.

Seeing it written down in black and white will help you make the right financial decision. 

warby68

I think its Day 11 today and your second weekend - that alone is great progress.

You're allowed to feel like crap at the moment but try to look forwards as well as backwards. The people who matter are still there. You've still built and sustained a top 2% income and a decent asset base regardless of your flaws so think what might be possible without the big problem.

Run the numbers for the BMW. Even run some different scenarios re cars and if you're really struggling to recognise progress run the scenario before you started to change with all the cars and the £4k pm overspend and see what sort of tanker you've already turned around.

Keep going @alt80

ladyholly

You are doing really well but you cant keep going over what is past. It is done, finished, ended and cant be changed. I am not saying forget it because you cant but to keep going over and over it is self destructive. Keep looking forward - hard at the moment I know but things will improve and yourbusiness is doing well, you are appreciating your family more and no matter how slow the debt busting progress is it is still progress and number one improvement is no drugs. Keep going!

KxMx

You used to be of the mindset that both cars absolutely had to stay. Now one is gone and you are quite far towards that with the other, acknowledging that it would be good for that to go.

One step at a time, you have made massive progress.
You can't go from one extreme to the other so quickly. 

You will get to a point where you make that decision and then make that phone call. It won't stick unless you are ready and really want to get rid. 

getmore4less

woahsoah said:

Why are you keeping the BMW? Won't that seriously help the debt?

Are you not able to do a director's loan to yourself/wife and clear the debt? To save on any cc interest

RelievedSheff said:

Why don't you run some figures keeping the BMW and then run them again with the BMW gone.

Seeing it written down in black and white will help you make the right financial decision. 

The interest is 0%. 

The car numbers have been run. 
Basicly is 3 year plan  against a  5 year plan. 
Money says 2nd car through business just needs the head to catch up. 

Not everything is an instant no backing out decision these days with the new think about it properly Alt. 

stymied

Personally I would wait until after lockdown and life returns to semi ‘normal’ then diarise when each car is used & what for. I was really behind the idea of letting your wife choose the electric mini but if that’s not actually practical then that would be a waste in itself. Once you have the data you can make the best decision for your family. The money is important but so is living. Right now you’re saving something on the RR fuel by using the BMW so that’s offsetting a little of the cost.

So glad to hear you’re still off the Chang. Massive well done for that, card balances are definitely the secondary priority right now. So long as the debts are still going in the right direction you ARE doing well.

I think everyone whose brain is built that way has regrets. I haven’t mastered coping with mine all the time yet. Sometimes one day at a time is the only way.

enthusiasticsaver

You need to get back into the positive mindset.  You always knew that the sales were not going to do the whole job for you.  You gave up the Ftype and cut back on variable spends because you could not make the numbers stack up to even pay minimums so you are at least not making your situation worse and the cards will come down but slower as long as you carry on not spending on them and they remain at 0%.  You made a bunch of sales to kick the credit card repayments right up initially and are down to less than £28k from being over £40k so that is a great start. 

Now comes the tough bit in that either you resign yourself to 2 or 3 years of this sustainable living to get rid of the cards or you go intense and cut back as far as possible, ditch the second car and work out how fast you can clear the cards then.  Working out the figures and seeing it in black and white how getting rid of the BMW may help you get to that point earlier may sway you one way or the other. Deal with the RR balloon nearer the time. Cutting back on the shopping sprees and giving up the drugs is something which is essential because as far as I remember there is no budget for drugs quite apart from the danger to your health and state of mind but the car is something else.  Many people do need 2 cars but not always so you have a choice of giving it up completely, getting a cheaper one or getting one through the business. Something you and your wife need to decide together. Something which did occur to me the other day is can you hire performance cars for the odd day out as a treat for you and the family? I don't know how much of your enjoyment comes from the actual driving of the car or the feeling that you own one. 

alt80

Ive ran all the figures on the BMW, every scenario - know the right thing to do is to say bye and get another car through the company. I just can’t make the call and wife thinks we should leave it for a few months- mainly I think she’s concerned I’ll go on the sort of spiral that I did over the ftype. Just another thing I can’t make the right call on. I won’t be able to pay a directors loan back in time if used to clear all the cards. May be able to if I just clear the two due in July though - will run the figures thanks. Other option is the 0% purchase. Won’t buy stupid stuff with it. Wife and I check the account and Amex spends card every evening together so she can see I’m not spending money on coke. Want her to be 100% sure I’m not doing it.

Caught myself slipping into the bad kind of thinking tbh this morning when I made my wife and son breakfast. There are days I don’t feel I deserve to enjoy food with my family, this morning I didn’t eat. Knew I made it into a punishment cooking for my family but not for myself. Spoken to the professionals but know it needs to ultimately come from me. Just another weekend I’m struggling to get through- don’t think I should be able to have time with my family. Don’t think I should have a family at all tbt. Read a story to my son last night by the end he was asleep I was in a bad way. Know someone like me deserves to be alone but I can’t let them go. Try to keep on sorting myself out- I’m not good to them like this and I can’t let them go so shouldn’t put them through having to deal with me. I wish she’d leave for her and son to have a better life. Concerns me that my son has some of my personality traits I’ve always tried to deny he’s anything like me but in some ways he is. Always have tried to hide the fact I’m not a good person behind a lifestyle, bought my wife big gifts to try to make up for the fact she is married to me. Her birthday is not too far off, Valentine’s Day closer. Another two reminders there that I’ve failed her.