First Steps to Solvency

Purplelady65

alt80 said

My mum and dad hate the fact sister hasn't 'reached her potential' (lot brighter than I ever was/ better uni/ more prestigious profession etc, never earned anything close) - that's why my mum has been quite angry about the 4 day week. Sister's and her husband's life plan though - both part time in next few years and retire early and none of my parents' business ultimately but like all parents just want better for their kids which I get. Def want son to do better than I have in life.

But what is your parent’s measure of ‘reaching her potential’? Do they mean working more hours, having more responsibilities, earning more money, living in a bigger house, having a bigger car, going on a flashier holiday, buying more expensive clothes? It sounds to me that your sister has her head screwed on and wants to enjoy her life and have a decent work life balance so from that perspective she’s achieved her potential. A lot of people want to achieve to a certain level but then don’t want to go beyond that because you have to give more of yourself and ‘live the job.’

alt80

Feb-21	Balance
Barclaycard	£    6,320.00
M&S	£    1,185.00
Sainsburys	£    6,450.00
MBNA	£  11,080.00
	£  25,035.00
Overdraft	£    2,420.00
Total	£  27,455.00

Dealt with the debt spreadsheet and worked out where I am for February. Not great counting the bank overdraft - the cards will all be minimum payments this month and all surplus for holidays/ emergency fund etc etc will not be transferred from current account to be able to end the month with the above overdraft balance. Been dreading this for days as I know why I am where I am with this. Hoping for some sales but can't count on that. 

I haven't cancelled the BMW. Can't face it at the moment - know I'm not helping myself in a lot of ways but I just can't face seeing it go right now. 

Re retirement/ succession/ sustainable lifestyles - not something in my plans but also don't plan to be working the sort of hours my parents do in their 70s. Definitely have been thinking about future succession - all part of thinking about bigger picture bringing dev side into main business/ staff/ future generally etc as I won't be able to keep up my current levels of working when I'm older. Starting to accept that after many years of older guys in my industry telling me its not sustainable forever to do the sort of hours I do - no plans to live the poverty life though as some pensioner in a !!!!!! bungalow !!!!!! that haha. Also not healthy to be sat up until 3am doing work either, I think I need to acknowledge that too after another full day on the work today after very little sleep - times when I start craving other unhealthy habits too. 100% know I need to carry on being more sustainable generally and leaving the temptations - don't really like who I am when I'm on the stuff tbh.

Probably will only work around 1/2 days a week when I'm my parents' age but don't want to give my business up. Yeah they can't stop working for financial reasons and my dad wishes they were at a point were they could slow down. Sister has a low want for the finer things haha and not massively passionate about work neither is her husband so the whole retirement thing works for her doubt either of them will work more than 2/3 days a week at 50. Weird to me tbh, I'm in the same camp as my parents 100 don't understand it but no judgement from me - if that's what you want from life, good for you. 

getmore4less

RelievedSheff said:

enthusiasticsaver said:

alt80 said:

My mum and dad hate the fact sister hasn't 'reached her potential' (lot brighter than I ever was/ better uni/ more prestigious profession etc, never earned anything close) - that's why my mum has been quite angry about the 4 day week. Sister's and her husband's life plan though - both part time in next few years and retire early and none of my parents' business ultimately but like all parents just want better for their kids which I get. Def want son to do better than I have in life.

Surely they have done better than your mum and dad though given they can presumably afford their lifestyle on less working hours and have a better work-life balance and time to spend with each other and their family?  Most people would hate to still be working in their 70s like your parents. I am assuming they work because they cant afford not to. 

I fully agree with this. I see no point in working past retirement age. There is no glory in it. To my mind someone who can not afford to retire in their 70's has failed to put the right plans in place earlier on in life.

Alt's sister has it right, assuming that the retirement planning is in place for later life which I'm sure it will be.

Once our mortgage is paid off we will both be reducing our working hours until retirement.

The proper rich that own business and other assets don't retire. 

They take a step back and change the mix of work and time spent doing it. 

They still manage their investments, they still monitor their business.
They employ more people to do the day to day.

RelievedSheff

getmore4less said:

RelievedSheff said:

enthusiasticsaver said:

alt80 said:

My mum and dad hate the fact sister hasn't 'reached her potential' (lot brighter than I ever was/ better uni/ more prestigious profession etc, never earned anything close) - that's why my mum has been quite angry about the 4 day week. Sister's and her husband's life plan though - both part time in next few years and retire early and none of my parents' business ultimately but like all parents just want better for their kids which I get. Def want son to do better than I have in life.

Surely they have done better than your mum and dad though given they can presumably afford their lifestyle on less working hours and have a better work-life balance and time to spend with each other and their family?  Most people would hate to still be working in their 70s like your parents. I am assuming they work because they cant afford not to. 

I fully agree with this. I see no point in working past retirement age. There is no glory in it. To my mind someone who can not afford to retire in their 70's has failed to put the right plans in place earlier on in life.

Alt's sister has it right, assuming that the retirement planning is in place for later life which I'm sure it will be.

Once our mortgage is paid off we will both be reducing our working hours until retirement.

The proper rich that own business and other assets don't retire. 

They take a step back and change the mix of work and time spent doing it. 

They still manage their investments, they still monitor their business.
They employ more people to do the day to day.

They may not retire fully but they could if they wanted to. There is a world of difference between not being able to retire and not wanting to retire.

alt80

Completely messed my sleep pattern up despite the late night yesterday and a nap this evening, absolutely wide awake. Need to attempt sleep again. The other day worked really well doing work 7-9.30am wish I could get into that everyday tbh and an earlier bedtime 11ish try that and can’t sleep, feel awful in the morning.

On the positive today is my 9th day of no drinking or anything else. Keeping with the programme haha.

Apologies for not responding to people individually over last few days - been busy with the business and dev block. First offer accepted on one of the dev block units too. Massive weight off my mind tbh. Also been spending less time in evenings in the office, really trying to make a real effort with family.

@getmore4less 100 my plan there mate ‘proper rich’ part would be nice haha probably left that too long to get there at my age but can still stay away from the destructive stuff, keep putting those growth plans in place, developing and recruiting staff and work with my mentor, grow the network of better influence and who knows.

@RelievedSheff def know where you’re coming from having the option to choose in life is good - for anything not just retirement.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Completely messed my sleep pattern up despite the late night yesterday and a nap this evening, absolutely wide awake. Need to attempt sleep again. The other day worked really well doing work 7-9.30am wish I could get into that everyday tbh and an earlier bedtime 11ish try that and can’t sleep, feel awful in the morning.

On the positive today is my 9th day of no drinking or anything else. Keeping with the programme haha.

Apologies for not responding to people individually over last few days - been busy with the business and dev block. First offer accepted on one of the dev block units too. Massive weight off my mind tbh. Also been spending less time in evenings in the office, really trying to make a real effort with family.

@getmore4less 100 my plan there mate ‘proper rich’ part would be nice haha probably left that too long to get there at my age but can still stay away from the destructive stuff, keep putting those growth plans in place, developing and recruiting staff and work with my mentor, grow the network of better influence and who knows.

@RelievedSheff def know where you’re coming from having the option to choose in life is good - for anything not just retirement.

Time with your family is more important than spending time on here  

The sleep patterns will come. Try not to get stressed out about it.

ladyholly

RelievedSheff said:

Time with your family is more important than spending time on here  

The sleep patterns will come. Try not to get stressed out about it.

I totally agree with this.

alt80

Certainly hope the sleep patterns will come - definitely work better and better to be around with a decent night’s sleep. Not great last night either, just need to keep on working on the one day at a time thing, do the counselling and the ‘homework’ ha. Don’t want to go back to the habits of a lifetime tbh but difficult sometimes. Wife doing another date night this evening haha alcohol free date fml lol.

Not gonna lie feel a bit dejected looking at the debt total and seeing minimum only coming off the cards unless over £1.4k sold this month (will leave o/d at £1k s £1k is 0% and I’d rather clear the cards on time). Need to work out if I’m going to realistically clear them down if not think I’m probably going to have to get a 0% purchase, clear the cards avoid BT fees and deal with the balance on the 0% purchase after. Makes sense in my head.

Decided to cancel the old cards. Don’t need to just keep them and resolved to be sensible about picking projects on subject of which hall completion day today so going to be getting started on that soon - am involving one of my staff in the project too - move towards it being brought in house rather than me on my own. Wife loves this one for some reason ha been picking out fittings/ colour schemes etc. Not done a bad job - I’m being a bit less selfish about this one tbh.

RelievedSheff

So long as the card balances are going in the right direction that is all that matters. It doesn't matter if some months the balances reduce less than others, so long as the balances are going down.

Definitely cancel the old cards. You will not regret it. It will be a sense of relief and a goodbye to old habits.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Certainly hope the sleep patterns will come - definitely work better and better to be around with a decent night’s sleep. Not great last night either, just need to keep on working on the one day at a time thing, do the counselling and the ‘homework’ ha. Don’t want to go back to the habits of a lifetime tbh but difficult sometimes. Wife doing another date night this evening haha alcohol free date fml lol.

Not gonna lie feel a bit dejected looking at the debt total and seeing minimum only coming off the cards unless over £1.4k sold this month (will leave o/d at £1k s £1k is 0% and I’d rather clear the cards on time). Need to work out if I’m going to realistically clear them down if not think I’m probably going to have to get a 0% purchase, clear the cards avoid BT fees and deal with the balance on the 0% purchase after. Makes sense in my head.

Decided to cancel the old cards. Don’t need to just keep them and resolved to be sensible about picking projects on subject of which hall completion day today so going to be getting started on that soon - am involving one of my staff in the project too - move towards it being brought in house rather than me on my own. Wife loves this one for some reason ha been picking out fittings/ colour schemes etc. Not done a bad job - I’m being a bit less selfish about this one tbh.

Will do eventually dude! I know my situation is a bit different in terms of messed up sleep but I do find exercise really helps me sleep...even just an hour stroll...doesn't need to be intense. Though sounds like you exercise plenty anyway with the wife dragging you out...but I do find intense exercise in the evening perks me up too much to sleep. I've also subscribed to audible (free with my phone) but I also listen to podcasts in bed a lot. Though you do the right things there with the calm app...things will get better with time once your body adjusts.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about the cards. I'd actually see the fact you've fessed up to the overdraft as your progress this month and also consider the overall debt figure not just the cards. £27K is great progress from where you were!!! Only thing I'd be wary of on a 0% purchases card is falling in to the traps of buying stuff you don't really need...there's this perverse incentive to "maximise" the offer, or at least I get that ha. When do the 0% offers expire? Why not just get another 0% card then?

Good work on cancelling the cards, I still have 2 open plus my Amex, only had them to keep my credit utilisation low but think I'll cancel too...never going to use them and one just doubled my credit limit without me asking...keep getting offered loans left right and centre too... Great on getting the wide involved in the projects. Could be a good way of getting her to think about budgetting too as presumably you don't want to be buying farrow and ball paint and super high end fittings in a rental? And although you're good at the interior decorating side of things and enjoy it, it does free your time for other apsects of life/business.