First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

enthusiasticsaver said:

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver not sure how the population itself is responsible for a vaccine rollout? 

Apologies I thought you were talking about  the R rate which is different across the country due to population behaviour and because the lockdown is less strict this time. The impacts of vaccination will not be seen for many months and the slow  rate across the country is due to supply rather than infrastructure.   It is the NHS who is responsible for the vaccine rollout  not the City Councils. 

Sorry you are having a rough day. 

Our area isn't doing great with the R rate.

No great surprise giving how many people are breaking the rules. As I type this three of the houses surrounding us have visitors and non of them have children so it isn't a childcare bubble.

It is frustrating when we are following the rules and others are so blatantly breaking them.

What hope do we really have of bringing this virus under control?

enthusiasticsaver

RelievedSheff said:

enthusiasticsaver said:

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver not sure how the population itself is responsible for a vaccine rollout? 

Apologies I thought you were talking about  the R rate which is different across the country due to population behaviour and because the lockdown is less strict this time. The impacts of vaccination will not be seen for many months and the slow  rate across the country is due to supply rather than infrastructure.   It is the NHS who is responsible for the vaccine rollout  not the City Councils. 

Sorry you are having a rough day. 

Our area isn't doing great with the R rate.

No great surprise giving how many people are breaking the rules. As I type this three of the houses surrounding us have visitors and non of them have children so it isn't a childcare bubble.

It is frustrating when we are following the rules and others are so blatantly breaking them.

What hope do we really have of bringing this virus under control?

I agree with you.  Most people down here are still following the restrictions but there are a lot of older people in the South West who tend to be a bit more cautious.  We have a problem with out of area visitors still though and there are still groups of people not following the rules.  In our small town some stupid person decided to organise a New Years eve  dinner at a football club and about 25 people came down with Covid in early January.  Normally it is less than 3.  No surprise how that happened.  Even today our beauty spots are rammed with cars and not all local. It is frustrating as we are following the rules in the hope we can get out of this mess soon but that will only happen when most people stop mixing households. 

 I think this lockdown is less strict though with more people working, the definition of key worker has been extended meaning schools are busier, childcare bubbles etc and people are becoming complacent thinking that older people are already vaccinated and so they don't need to be careful anymore or they are just fed up of restrictions so ignoring them. Someone I know thought it was ok to be across two or three bubbles with their different children.  

Rant over 

ladyholly

If you use slug pellets for sunflower seeds make sure the dog can't get to them as they are poisoness. 
Sorry you are struggling but when the withdrawal symptoms lessen you should start to feel better physically this will also help you mentally. Keep up with the homework nothing good happens overnight. 

KxMx

It's weird I have a real green thumb and love planting /gardening but I cannot grow sunflowers... 
I've made many attempts with varying methods, no successes though

Purplelady65

Just catching up after a week away from mse. The £750 per month coke habit was a bit of a revelation and maybe explains a lot more about your wife’s spending. The CT make-up is nothing in comparison. You’d also omitted to mention until a few days ago that your wife actually cleans your offices so she does more than you have previously given her credit for.  As others have advised the drugs must surely must be your number one priority over everything else? You are risking everything - family, business, health, your future. If you’ve been reading about what it does to you then you’ll know the longer it carries on the more difficult it will be to get free from it. Addictions are difficult to beat so you will need as much professional and family support as you can get. Just a couple of suggestions: 
1) In many of your posts you talk about feeling low, depressed, anxious. I don’t know if you feel like this before using drugs or afterwards or if its a constant feeling. It was suggested way back, before you’d admitted anything about drug use, but what about speaking to your gp about anti depressants or anti anxiety medication. They might make you feel a bit more on an even keel and might reduce the cravings for drugs. 
2) Your wife’s family are trying to be supportive. Your wife is obviously close to them plus they sound like they are really involved grandparents. What about making an effort to engage with them more this year once we’re out of lockdown. So going to family events with your wife and son rather than withdrawing from family life. I know you’ve said previously the father, brother and sister in laws aren’t your type but they sound more of a positive influence than other people in your life. I’m sure your wife and son would be really pleased if you were more involved and took an interest in the wider family. 

It’s not going to be easy but taking each day as it comes and continuing with the counselling will hopefully start to pay off.

alt80

Working helped keep the demons at bay at least today. 

Few people on here said they think I must be exhausted lol some of my staff say things like that too. Have days I struggle to get out of bed burnt out from life lol. Had a quiet evening pizza dinner, wife knows one of my favourite meals is her homemade pizza lol. Appreciated that. She said I looked like death, sent me to bed for a nap haha. Only just woke up, was hoping to get out for a walk with my family but didn’t manage that they’ve gone. Another thing to be guilty over - my son hardly seeing me. Shouldn’t work weekends because it’s all that keeps me sane when I look back and some of the days I remember fondly are those spent with my family been thinking I don’t want to be the one who looks back on life regretting I pushed them away due to my own problems. Some days can hardly look at them though 100% guilt over my behaviour. Not sure how I can ever right things with them but hope one day I can beyond going mad for the spending.

@grumpelstiltskin thank you again. I have set a reminder in my phone to buy some.

!!!!!! weird being on the debt journey though for a moment I started panicking I shouldn’t be spending money FML probably going to get change from £10 lol.

@getmore4less thanks mate my growth plan is similar. Bit less ambitious on the BTL side but noted for me to review when the block scenario is improved and things looking a bit better on the cash flow side. Know I can plan that out should start thinking about it been away from numbers for a few days back on it Monday though.

Don’t tend to over pressure my staff. It’s weird I’m a !!!!!! at home but am told I’m good to work for generally. It’s important to me my staff are working to realistic targets but have sufficient time to enjoy their lives outside of work. Might respect myself enough to abide by that one day myself who knows. 

The successful in business thing is more holistic I don’t know I’ll ever be able to say I am successful in business. Doesn’t matter what steps I take in the right direction I say to myself all will be ok when I’m successful in business with no definition of that in my head whatsoever. I’m aware enough to know I’m not good enough to expand to the point of being a national organisation. It’s really odd tbh I’m not even sure I want that though feel I ‘should’ want that because why wouldn’t I want to grow my business idk very difficult to describe but drives the successful in business thing in my head. 

@enthusiasticsaver/ @RelievedSheff/ @ladyholly Idk re covid solutions can’t wait for it to end. Not going to pretend I’ve been a saint on the lockdown. Generally not done much outside the guidelines tbh but I’ve not taken it as seriously as I should have. Should have definitely kept me away from some stuff lol.

Notts NHS no better lol, known for being !!!!!! in this city tbh. 

Thanks for the heads up re dog. Think we were told that by breeder come to mention it. That was weird had to visit a pregnant dog twice and be quizzed for hours on end to get one haha. Tbf better that way IMO than some of the stories I’ve heard on here re dogs. Got to work on the behaviour side now though he’s a not so little !!!!!!. At least not aggressive though.

@KxMx wife likes the garden. I’d like to try this for my son though thanks for the heads up might not grow. 

alt80

@Purplelady65 I am working on quitting the habit. Not been on it since Wednesday but hardly need a medal for that I know managed that often enough ha. It’s never been an everyday thing and yeah my wife spends money probably because she just thinks !!!!!! it if she realised I’m back on it idk. I am trying to engage with the counselling for it and the rest. No one feels worse about realising it had become a bit more of a habit than I wanted it to be tbh.

My plan was to spend more time with family - one of my goals as well as paying my debt down. I don’t get on with my in-laws and they don’t get on with me. I know why and don’t really blame them tbh a lot of the time I can’t face them. 

KxMx

Sunflowers are one of the easiest things to grow generally I wouldn't worry you & your son won't manage it...  It's just me PMSL. 

strawb_shortcake

My plan was to spend more time with family - one of my goals as well as paying my debt down. I don’t get on with my in-laws and they don’t get on with me. I know why and don’t really blame them tbh a lot of the time I can’t face them. 

You say this, but I've always felt as though your FIL is your ally, you might be poles apart in many respects but you both share a love for your wife and son, you both want to do the best for them and want them to be part of your lives.
I think this is someone you can lean on for support going forward, when you are free of the drugs you might find that you'll both see each other in different lights

ladyholly

Your iL has shown you some support that you have reported and I think if you prove you can be drug free and become a bit more of a family man he may surprise you. No I dont think you will be best friends but he is someone that can offer some support if you let him and dont let him wind you up.