First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

It's interesting that you are writing down about other people. 
If someone on the outside was to look at you they'd think, successful, beautiful wife, beautiful house and not a worry in the world. RR, Kid in private school. Yet, the outside picture isn't the true nature of what is underneath. (Yes you have made it, but you have debts, an addictive personality, self esteem)  Your 'friends' might look like they are better off, made it more, etc etc, but you don't know what is going on underneath either. 
You have the ability and capability to become everything that you have said earlier. You can achieve anything if you work hard enough at it and want it as much as you say you do. 

alt80

I’ve faced the balances:

Cards:

Jan-21	Balance
Barclaycard	£6,490.00
M&S	£1,265.00
Sainsburys	£6,650.00
MBNA	£11,410.00
	£25,815.00

C/A overdraft: £3,120 not accounting variables deficit at end of month which is likely to be c.£300 (only spends for rest of month food and fuel agreed with wife. Going to say a predicted o/d balance of £3,500. Anything less will be a bonus. Throwing the holiday etc funds at the current account at the moment anyway so won’t look so bad by end Feb. Appreciate a lot on here will say to put the ‘savings’ for holidays/ emergency fund/ car insurances etc etc into separate accounts. I just don’t see the point in paying interest for longer than I need to tbh.

Have spent a bit of time on the work tonight rather than logging off. Thinking about going back to it for an hour or so. Better to keep my mind on something at the moment really anxious generally.

Re income. I’ve no plans to have a rise in monthly income for the next 2 years, review then. Any surplus I’m keeping retained/ towards projects. That’s the plan anyway.

Hate to bring this up again but wife has said she thinks we ought to leave BMW as it is. I mentioned needing to do something about getting rid of it. Can’t really see how it’s going to help us having it she doesn’t think I’m in a good frame of mind to say bye bye idk numbers don’t really add up to keep it. I’ll have balances on cards again to clear RR balloon if we keep the BM. The balloon for that comes before RR too. She probably just means to keep it a few more months but not seeing how that’s helping my debts tbh.

alt80

@Legs21/ @Nicnak I’m not judging anyone tbh, everyone has their issues know that. 

I know what you mean re some thinking I have it made. Fair few of my staff I can count there ha. Thanks sometimes just very easy to look ‘up’ rather than ‘around’ iyswim even worse when on a downer imo.  

theoretica

alt80 said:

Hate to bring this up again but wife has said she thinks we ought to leave BMW as it is. I mentioned needing to do something about getting rid of it. Can’t really see how it’s going to help us having it she doesn’t think I’m in a good frame of mind to say bye bye idk numbers don’t really add up to keep it. I’ll have balances on cards again to clear RR balloon if we keep the BM. The balloon for that comes before RR too. She probably just means to keep it a few more months but not seeing how that’s helping my debts tbh.

This this is a decision worth taking time over and worth working out between you as it will impact on both your lives

Possible options I see:

Keep it

Replace with commitment to something that costs you less

Replace with something much cheaper bought outright if the long term finances work out better (and not committing to an ongoing plan or anything in the future) - though I doubt bangernomics is either of your styles

You could try persuade yourself that if it is 'your wife's car' it doesn't need to suit you any more than her clothes would.

If you do only have one vehicle between you how would weekends work? - she would want to go to parents, you might want to head out to a project. How much would be spent on taxis/rental?

katsu

@alt80.  You have made a great success of yourself and its only your head demons saying otherwise. You've got yourself into top 2% of UK earners.  

As a higher earner you meet some right odd folk. I've reached the stage where I prefer a lot of my team to my peers. Don't get me wrong,  some are great and inspiring but there's a lot of idiots in this world. 

I am sure your commitment and the therapy will help you change. Live your life not the one from many of your acquaintances. 

Many people don't really matter. Would you want to spend time with them? Are they making the world a better place? You are a kind landlord from what you say,  so you are helping your tenants and are thinking of charities at work. Don't take your self worth from noise out of people who give nothing to others. 

I find it very liberating that I'm renting not buying a lot of the fools I meet.  I'm not letting some random dictate how I feel about my life. I hope you can decide to think like that  especially about people who aren't good examples for you. 

warby68

I'm not one voting to go down to one car. I can't see it working well apart from in the few lockdown weeks. Just another source of practical and couple stress when you really don't need it. 
The obvious solution is to tie getting rid of the BMW to a more positive forward step ie a much cheaper 2nd car such as the Mini through the business and not a straight, negative, getting rid which might send you into an ftype like tailspin.
Now you know what bad decisions the cars were, are you ready to move on? Remember, you will still have your pride and joy the RR and this will be wife's car.
Practically, making more payments on the BMW beyond the handback point would not be great but another month or so to get your ducks in a row might be worth it.

Willowtree222

alt80 said:

@Legs21/ @Nicnak I’m not judging anyone tbh, everyone has their issues know that. 

I know what you mean re some thinking I have it made. Fair few of my staff I can count there ha. Thanks sometimes just very easy to look ‘up’ rather than ‘around’ iyswim even worse when on a downer imo.  

It's not about judging it's just not always seeing inside and although to you things might look better it doesn't mean they are.
You don't need to compare or look up to the others as in s lot of cases, they'll be hiding a multitude of things x

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

I’ve faced the balances:

Cards:

Jan-21	Balance
Barclaycard	£6,490.00
M&S	£1,265.00
Sainsburys	£6,650.00
MBNA	£11,410.00
	£25,815.00

C/A overdraft: £3,120 not accounting variables deficit at end of month which is likely to be c.£300 (only spends for rest of month food and fuel agreed with wife. Going to say a predicted o/d balance of £3,500. Anything less will be a bonus. Throwing the holiday etc funds at the current account at the moment anyway so won’t look so bad by end Feb. Appreciate a lot on here will say to put the ‘savings’ for holidays/ emergency fund/ car insurances etc etc into separate accounts. I just don’t see the point in paying interest for longer than I need to tbh.

Have spent a bit of time on the work tonight rather than logging off. Thinking about going back to it for an hour or so. Better to keep my mind on something at the moment really anxious generally.

Re income. I’ve no plans to have a rise in monthly income for the next 2 years, review then. Any surplus I’m keeping retained/ towards projects. That’s the plan anyway.

Hate to bring this up again but wife has said she thinks we ought to leave BMW as it is. I mentioned needing to do something about getting rid of it. Can’t really see how it’s going to help us having it she doesn’t think I’m in a good frame of mind to say bye bye idk numbers don’t really add up to keep it. I’ll have balances on cards again to clear RR balloon if we keep the BM. The balloon for that comes before RR too. She probably just means to keep it a few more months but not seeing how that’s helping my debts tbh.

Won't be long before that M&S balance is gone.

enthusiasticsaver

Work the cars situation out mathematically and discuss reasons for keeping/getting rid of it with your wife.

Scenario 1 Get rid of BMW and use whole amount towards paying off overdraft (is the whole £3120 interest free?) then clearing credit cards and saving for RR balloon. Can you save the balloon in time? 

Scenario 2 Keep BMW and continue as you are. Presumably that means refinancing the balloon for the BMW and the RR and much longer to clear debt? 

Scenario 3 Go for something through business or a used cheaper car which presumably you will still need to finance given you don't have savings. What impact will that have on clearing debt? 

Discuss how it will work with your wife if you just have the one car. Of course she doesn't want to lose the car now it is getting close but she is only thinking of it from a practical or emotional viewpoint and is not considering the financial side. An extra £600 per month would be useful towards clearing the debt which is the way of moving forward from this. From the sound of it she does not need it to do shopping or take your son to school and she doesn't work so it seems a waste to me to pay out that much for it to sit on your driveway most of the time. 

enthusiasticsaver

Just read that only the first £1k of your overdraft is interest free so presumably the rest is at 40% or thereabouts as most overdrafts are these days. That should be priority to go not the M and S now. Consequences of the Christmas overspend and the unbudgeted spend on your habit no doubt? I agree it makes no sense to keep the savings pots when you are paying that much in interest.