First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

alt80 said:

@getmore4less conclusion I’m coming to mate tbh. Got this block to get done and hall. Finances look a lot better for not bothering with it. 

JV partner won’t be pleased lol but tbh maybe he’s not worth my time either idk. Done a few projects with him, puts no work in. Not lost but always me doing all the work and him with !!!!!! stupid ‘brainwaves’ haha.

That confirms it get out of this one.

The other advantage of bringing the projects in house is you can charge for the management time, take on other peoples projects where they fund the risk but you still get to cream of a share into the business.

When we can get out and about again I suspect we will be UK based before our overseas travel restarts, will keep that sushi place in mind. 

Willowtree222

Also think you should stick to the block and stop anything else till you can sort you out. If he's like you said you're best stepping away completely. 

ladyholly

Drop him. You don't need negative influences. Build on the good people you do have I. e. MG guy and your mentor.
If you want a  weird car story when I first met dh he had an MG Midget which he had put a supercharger on. Improved performance no end. One night he drove into what he thought was a puddle under a bridge. Well it was but a lot deeper than he thought and the engine cut. Couldn't re start so he left it overnight to go back in the morning. What he didn't know was that puddle expanded to the top of the bridge sub merging the car. Towed to garage and cleaned out. As it was salt water he thought it best to sell the car.
About 5years later after we had moved town he was outside fiddling with one of his cars (yes he was a car guy too only more on the mechanical side and cheap cars) and he came rushing in the house to say our old midget was outside. Our next door neighbours son had bought it and yes even after it's salt water bath it was still a good car but a bit more tatty than when he had it. 

maddiemay

@alt80 You have great support on here, in terms of business, psychology and relationships etc and a good number like me just prepared to offer you virtual support and be available to "listen" while your thoughts, both lucid and otherwise pour out.
Absolute consensus today that you should extract yourself from the JV asap, you just don't need the worry and the unfair workload imposed by someone who is both taking advantage of you and in basic terms no good for you.
Stick with it and take care.

stymied

@alt80 do you know what triggered you to restore your phone and call your dealer? What can you do to guard against that happening again?
Presuming this stuff isn’t as cheap as chips, what percentage of a unit could you have bought with what you’ve spent on it since you started this diary?

alt80

Not feeling amazing but getting through. Photo challenge in the bag left the brainstorming and just let him pick something - personal to him really. He picked his Lego project, did well with building it himself. All I had to do was make him the hot chocolate haha. Struggling with the low mood etc today tbh so the distraction is nice. I get if I can’t get to a point where I feel ok with myself it’s all going to keep spiralling- story of my life just isn’t so bad when you’re in your 20s without a kid and I suppose don’t realise why you do the self destructive stuff around work in the first place. Never really had anything going on in my life but work that’s positive in my life tbt. Wife calmed me down massively re using at a time in my life I needed that.

Todays ‘happier January’ (from FIL haha) was to contribute something positive to a good cause or your community. Probably no surprise I’m no good at this stuff lol. Wife has decided to give it a go too, she donated £20 to the food bank after getting frustrated trying to find info to get involved in kids sport locally said she’d like to do some coaching or something. Think she’d enjoy that tbh this place like a kids playground in summer she gets them round from school for a kickabout lol. I drafted an email to staff see if they’ve any charities they’d like to support over this year will chose one and do a few fundrasiers over the year (scheduled to send Monday as thought they don’t need me bothering them on a Sunday). Perhaps would be good for me. Tomorrow is to focus on ‘what’s good’ lol FML not something to tell me haha.

@getmore4less Place in Derby is Ebi Sushi, few reviews online, FT one is good not even sure the restaurant have a website. It’s on Abbey St. 100 don’t let the location put you off. On same note re !!!!!! locations/ amazing food, Sat Bains on Lenton Lane - absolutely fantastic. Usually go for my birthday obviously couldn’t last year, tempted to this year if we can even with my debts probably just be a massive guilt fest though - def not a cheap night out expect £500 spend easily but if you like good food worth it IMO. Genuine fantastic experience, well worth it IMO. Feel bad for admitting might go there this year with my debt situation tbh wish I was the sort who could be happy to live on rice and beans. Subject of spending almost bought a bottle of Halfeti Leather, haven’t but did put in basket, if I do buy will just get a sample. Tbh don’t need it know that.

Really like suggestion of bringing in house mate, treat it less like a hobby. 

@Nicnak got the block to finish also have the hall conversion. That wasn’t a stupid project. Will be completing on that any time. Really looking forward to that one tbh. Block coming along nicely now tbh had a bit of interest too so all being well it’ll go. Management being kept in house and I’m considering retaining 2-4 units max but get the right money, I’ll sell. Feel positive about that for first time in a long time.

@ladyholly You’re right he’s not a great influence lol. Thanks want to build on the better network.

FML re the midget haha. Lot of fun actually they are, I’ve driven one. Kind of like the old classic cars in a bit of legal fun type way.

@maddiemay thank you means a lot tbh. Yeah leaving the JV. Rational mind says I don’t know why I got involved with him but I do know lol. 

@stymied Tbh I was feeling low after wife looking at clothes/ back on IG and my JV mate called me up. Speak/ see him 100 before I know it I’m on the chang. People/ places/ things according to counsellor. 100 agree there. Spent just over £3k on it since I started working on the debts some months more than others very little not particularly consistent with how much. Yeah I know. Never been something I’ve ever done everyday that’s where I struggle with the whole addiction thing. Know people with bigger habits who wouldn’t be questioning if they’re at the stage of being addicted tbh and not at the rotting my septum off stage if that’s what you were wondering ha but I see how it can get to that point, that’s what scares me tbf. Don’t even want it for weeks sometimes feel it’s not worth it etc, then something sets me off and I give in. Not a bit of fun anymore/ wrong reasons.

Onebrokelady

alt80 said:

@warby68 yeah know what you mean. Been there before a few times. Actually had some great JVs too tbh so not all bad, not with this guy though. Sometimes I think he gets into projects just for a meet up during the week lol.

Re cooking - yes both wife and I enjoy cooking. Both enjoy eating tbh if she didn’t do the tracking etc probably both would be massive haha. Looking forward to it later. 🙂

@getmore4less if you like seafood and still anywhere close to the East Midlands there’s an amazing sushi place in Derby. Not that I’d normally advocate anyone taking a trip to Derby lol but that is 100% worth it.

I was born and grew up in Derby and my sister ( who doesn't speak to me ) still lives there, it was great back then, I moved down here in 1975 though and haven't visited since the 2003, it's sad to know it's generally downhill. My other sister (who also doesn't speak to me 😀) lives in Nottingham, she has lived there since the very early 80s and did live in some rough areas, I'm not sure what the area she lives in now is like,I've never been there. 
I don't think you should consider yourself a scummer at all, your situation is common to a lot of people but it's just that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, I spent 20 years with an addict but no one would have known, he was a family man but he had his demons . I've read diaries that you post on and you are always supportive of other people and give helpful advice,it's clear you love your son ( I'm still not sure about your wife ) and want to do the right thing, that's not the actions of a scummer 

alt80

@Onebrokelady Derby isn’t great now at all mate. Still a lot of industry and parts of the county are nice but the city itself has gone to the dogs. I’m not from Nottingham but consider it ‘home’ been here since 18, wife is NG born and bred though. Lot of rough areas in NG tbh lol need to pick where you live very carefully.

Thanks. I’ve long had issues with how I see myself tbh always thought it’d go away when I bought a house on this road, sort of known as one of the places to live around here lol. Crazy I know, thought it’d 100 make me gain a sense of self worth and didn’t, clearly. 

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like your JV mate is a trigger for the stuff so I would avoid him definitely.

Good call on doing something for a good cause by both you and wife. Makes you realise how lucky you are so that is a good call by your FIL. Self worth is not measured by material possessions. It is a feeling of content and happiness and sometimes doing things for others will help you more than accumulating possessions. 

RelievedSheff

@alt80 you made it. You just didn't realise yet.