First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@RelievedSheff not actually going to or planning to tell her I’d rather a clinically obese woman with a job lol. 

@getmore4less haha no !!!!!! hope for me if I started drinking early lol. Enjoy a drink but shouldn’t be doing it for reasons I often am don’t need encouragement haha.

Tbh I’m beyond all the lifestyle stuff couldn’t care less just planning to grow business, pay off debt/ RR, more units and get an AM. Spent a long time thinking about what I want in life. Don’t care about the stupid stuff apart from cars. Maybe bigger res home at some point but that def needs to come from new money. AM comes from new money I’m happy with that but if it comes from living smaller I’m good with that too. If the Range Rover/ debts have gone there’s money for an AM 100%. Open to keeping money back retained and buying units to offset against financing an AM beat the interest though. 

Sun_Addict

Don’t let one night ruin your dry January, maybe you could not drink 1 February to make up for it. Don’t beat yourself up. I hope you can come to an agreement with your wife regarding the spending. Often if someone spends like her they are replacing something that’s missing in their life. Does she need some reassurance from you that you love her? From the references to crying she sounds depressed to me, quite understandable at the moment but she needs support and guidance.  Could you put plans in place for something to look forward to later in the year when things will hopefully be better - a holiday perhaps?

RelievedSheff

I perhaps wouldn't broach the clinically obese woman subject 🤣🤣🤣

I was thinking more the future you future spending relationship. I think the time has come for her to step up and grow up a little.

I  agree it sounds as though she is struggling a bit but sometimes a short sharp look at reality is what is needed.

alt80

@Sun_Addict That’s a good idea thanks. Think it’s a brain that’s missing tbh lol. Seriously idk. 

Only holiday I’m having is visiting parents potentially - no point in spending now if it doesn’t happen will have to claim flights back.

She probably is depressed I can’t deal with it enough of my own problems tbh. 

@RelievedSheff I won’t haha but honestly I’d rather a clinically obese woman I can have a decent discussion about the market with. Right now wouldn’t be choosing the wife ha. Suppose I’ve realised it’s not normal her wanting to be romanced all the !!!!!! time and the not working stuff. Always hated that.

Not sure what there is to discuss re spending really she already knows how things are just doesn’t get it or deliberately being a !!!!!! idk.

RelievedSheff

I can't promise I will ever be the most sensible person you ever chat with or give the best advice ever but if you ever need a chat you know where to get hold of me. 

alt80

Bit more positive I’ve worked out only spent £340 on variable this month so far. Car to fill by end of week and wife doing a food order tomorrow.

Might as well be honest, I’m ambivalent about the BMW going tbh - don’t really want to be down to one car but will really help financially and I don’t love the car anyway. Had a car mate message me the other day need to get out for a run when lockdown over. Told him don’t have the jag anymore, sends back come in the BM. Ha won’t even have that probably 5 years until I get another fun car. Know it sounds stupid to most on here but one of the few things I actually enjoy tried to make figures stack to buy something else but no chance unless I let the debt carry on indefinitely then wife got an even bigger excuse. Summer not even going to be worth it without cars dreading it. Mate with the MG hoping I’m going to drive it around to shows if they’re on so he can take one of his other cars FML last year V8 F-Type, this a borrowed 50odd year old MGB 0-60 in three weeks. Know he’s just trying to be a good mate but tbh looking like only BoJo can save the !!!!!! humiliation haha.

@RelievedSheff thanks. 🙂

stymied

I don’t understand why you suddenly want someone exactly the same as yourself as your life partner. Also you’d have to get a nanny, cleaner and personal trainer to do the jobs your wife is currently doing. 

It’s like you got so !!!!!! off with behaviour over Christmas although you sympathised at the time, that you’re lashing out in response now with the “she deserves nothing, all future plans should be about me”. Apologies if I’ve completely misread that.

She obviously has brains and artistic talents enough to be able to do the PT stuff and nails. They’re just different interests to yours. Think back to your birthday when she was so thoughtful about what to do on your day. I echo everyone posting that a balance is needed.

alt80

@stymied Would be nice to have someone at home to talk about interesting stuff with tbh. Spent all last week trying to make an effort with her every evening it’s just work rather be actually working earning some coin for the effort. Still back on the IG meant nothing to her.

If I didn’t have wife no chance I’d be allowed to see son more than once a week or whatever so wouldn’t need a nanny, decent PT cheaper than keeping wife and I know how a vacuum cleaner works lol but tbf cleaner would be nice. I am !!!!!! off with her 100%. Never wanted to give my cars up but I did no sports car but she thinks its ok to buy !!!!!! for her and son. Didn’t even buy me a christmas present. Left with a good everyday car no doubt and grateful to have it but FML who wants to drive a FFRR at the weekend for a laugh lol. Tbf it lights up all four if need be but it’s still a boat really. Realised if I hadn’t bought her a load of stuff or she hadn’t bought !!!!!! for her face / other women’s stuff I’d still have my ftype probably have an AM by now. 

Savingtomove

I have been following your diary since the beginning and wanted to say it’s amazing how far you have come. 

However re your wife - as much as she needs to be on board with the spending all your goals regarding finance, focus on paying off or buying cars which is import to you, not her.  What is important to her? What is her motivation for getting out of debt? 

Also this ‘if she wants money she can earn it’ attitude sits badly with me.  You would not have been able to work the long hours you have if she wasn’t doing childcare.  If she starts to work the same hours are you going to pick up half the house work and childcare? I’m not saying her working isn’t the best decision for you as a family but she does contribute to your family and your ability to work.  I would love to not have to think about childcare, school holidays, housework etc and my career and earning potential would be much higher if my husband was at home full time.

I think you need to find her motivating factor for paying the dept off because at the moment it looks all hard slog no return. 

alt80

Tbh maybe I’m just feeling depressed because it’s the weekend. Looking forward to tomorrow at least.

@Savingtomove thanks.

Don’t really care what’s important to her right now I need to stop being in debt and I want to build portfolio and buy an AM. She’s not really losing out gets more money in long run and an AM on the drive.

Also the kid argument not valid she stopped any sort of paid work long before we had son. Didn’t give a !!!!!! about working never has. No drive. I didn’t even want a kid. Wouldn’t swap him for the world now but 100 not my choice at that age. She wanted kids and FIL seemed to think I was infertile so proved him wrong ha. Sounds bad I know but seemed a win win at the time keep her happy, prove I’ve not got some issue to FIL lol. Only just really got used to having him tbh.