First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

She won't have worn much of the stuff she has for the best part of a year.

Its a good 6 months before anyone is going anywhere if they want to stay safe

RelievedSheff

I think you should get her father onboard again.

He will be on your side with this one and disgusted with her behaviour. 

She is acting like a child. Treat her like one and take her cards away and delete any saved card details from her devices. 

enthusiasticsaver

It is your wife's fault you are in debt just as much as it is yours. She has no income, she doesn't know the value of money and does not seem to be able to control her spending impulses. If you don't clamp down on it then you will struggle. I just think the two of you have got into a habit of spending when you have leisure time. You have a child, a dog, a house, a home gym and from the sound of it countless items of technology so you should both be able to amuse yourselves and your son even in lockdown without going online and spending. You both need some hobbies. Life cannot be just about work. 

Onebrokelady

Jesus £1450 potential spend in the sale is more than I earn a month.If she wants to spend that kind of money on things she doesn't need then she should get out and earn it 

warby68

What will you do if she does spend @alt80? That budget can only be whittled down so many times before there isn't even enough for food and fuel.

RelievedSheff

warby68 said:

What will you do if she does spend @alt80? That budget can only be whittled down so many times before there isn't even enough for food and fuel.

And I think that needs to be explained to her.  I.e, if you spend this much now that means x amount less per month which means no fuel for the car, no money for take outs etc. 

Perhaps if it is laid out in bare facts she will realise? 

vampirotoothus

Hi, it is great to see how your mindset has been changing and it is a shame that your wife is not yet on the same part of the journey. Could you work out over the last x number of years how much has been spent on stuff for your wife, for your son and for you, incl the cars. You have done so much analysis on the cars and you both use the numbers to flog you with, but it's about time you both knew how the whole amount of debt has been spent. This will at least give you the ability to realise it is NOT all your fault.

ryanm8655

Christ, I despair, I really do. Feel so sorry for you having to put up with this. She’s mental

Financial abuse. Have a chat with the FIL. Take the cards away. You’re the one that’s going to have to pay for it all when the house of cards collapses.

If she throws her toys out of her pram and leaves you due to “financial abuse” then she is going to get a real shock trying to survive on whatever she gets in a divorce settlement. Then she’ll know what budgetting is...she’s deluded.

To lighten the mood a little...maybe play her this re: influencers in Dubai: https://youtu.be/3UITD7ikQr8

If you google there is actually some truth to it as well...

getmore4less

ryanm8655 said:

Christ, I despair, I really do. Feel so sorry for you having to put up with this. She’s mental

Financial abuse. Have a chat with the FIL. Take the cards away. You’re the one that’s going to have to pay for it all when the house of cards collapses.

If she throws her toys out of her pram and leaves you due to “financial abuse” then she is going to get a real shock trying to survive on whatever she gets in a divorce settlement. Then she’ll know what budgetting is...she’s deluded.

To lighten the mood a little...maybe play her this re: influencers in Dubai: https://youtu.be/3UITD7ikQr8

If you google there is actually some truth to it as well...

Spat my tea over my screen at 3:35-3:40

theoretica

Sounds like your wife is extremely influenced - by influencers.  I hope she can develop a stubborn streak dedicated to not doing exactly what they want her to!