First Steps to Solvency

enthusiasticsaver

OK Wow well done for not losing it with your wife and I have to say I would be cancelling cards too right about now. That is quite honestly appalling for her to spend that amount of money without even discussing it first.  Tell her that is half of Januarys spending budget gone so the only thing being bought is food and fuel. I also do not buy that you are the sole reason for the debt.  Her make up and beauty spends plus her obvious Apple addiction seem to also be responsible for ramping up spends and lets not talk about the £12k a year school bills for a 7 year old. I would also be enlightening your FIL with your wifes' spends on make up, beauty, apple products and an unexpected £800 spend just before Christmas. 

I get that you are not perfect but it is not ok for your wife to pretty much wipe out half of the next months budget on a very expensive gadget for such a young child. I hesitate to say this but it is not even as if she is bringing any income in.  Spending that much so carelessly is unforgiveable. 

ryanm8655

enthusiasticsaver said:

OK Wow well done for not losing it with your wife and I have to say I would be cancelling cards too right about now. That is quite honestly appalling for her to spend that amount of money without even discussing it first.  Tell her that is half of Januarys spending budget gone so the only thing being bought is food and fuel. I also do not buy that you are the sole reason for the debt.  Her make up and beauty spends plus her obvious Apple addiction seem to also be responsible for ramping up spends and lets not talk about the £12k a year school bills for a 7 year old. I would also be enlightening your FIL with your wifes' spends on make up, beauty, apple products and an unexpected £800 spend just before Christmas. 

I get that you are not perfect but it is not ok for your wife to pretty much wipe out half of the next months budget on a very expensive gadget for such a young child. I hesitate to say this but it is not even as if she is bringing any income in.  Spending that much so carelessly is unforgiveable. 

Wholeheartedly agree! I think your wife is just as bad to be honest. At least you are honest with yourself, she’s clearly an emotional spender too and I find her attitude quite childish and absolutely unbelievable for an adult woman.

Well done for not losing it and being the bigger person, I’d have flipped. I’d take all the cards away from her and cancel them to be honest. She can’t be trusted not to destroy all your hard work. I’d also be tempted to have a quiet word with the father in law, though I appreciate that is something you probably don’t want to do...I’d also be telling her to get down to the job centre...it’s not fair on you to be solely responsible for this when your wife is clearly equally to blame.

That’s a laughable reason to be buying a 7 year old a £750 iPad !!!!!!. Don’t care how rich I am, I’m never buying a 7 year old a top spec iPad, that’s a mugs game and going to create an entitled adult that doesn’t appreciate the value of anything.

I think she needs therapy too to be honest.

warby68

What a shame @alt80. I honestly thought she got it.
Its not even a wise purchase - he's 7. 
Is this her way of lashing out about the Christmas Covid restrictions? 
Its not good that she's done it behind your back either
I'll keep my fingers crossed she has a rethink
Really sorry about this - you must be quite upset. I would be furious at this point.
PS I think I'd be asking for FIL's help with her - very unfair to lay all blame on you when this has happened. I have mentally cut her a lot of slack because of the history and her hard work/support in other ways but this really is extreme spoilt brat.

strawb_shortcake

Wow I'd be peeved, but really impressed with how you've responded to her actions. 
I don't think children especially as young as your Son needs that level of tech.
The money aside, I think your wife needs to consider the message she is giving to your son, she is the one teaching him to keep up with Jones' whatever the cost, it's not just your  good work on your debt level she's undone.

enthusiasticsaver

It is quite laughable and immature to treat your son to an expensive toy because of "lockdown".  People are losing their jobs and unable to buy food or pay bills and here she is splashing out £750 like it is nothing on an IPad for a 7 year old because she is stamping her feet over the Covid situation and restrictions.  I think that is actually even more expensive than my Ipad air so it must have been a fairly high spec one.  What cloud is she living on? 

ladyholly

I can only agree with what everyone else has said. No 7year old needs an I Pad and to get such an expensive one is sheer lunacy. To blame her spending on your cars is childish. I really think a serious alk after Christmas and a budget set for presents and personal spends. Perhaps a pre loaded card fo her might be the way to go. If she is going to behave like a child then treat her like a child. Sorry if that sounds harsh. 

stymied

A downgrade on the iPad tomorrow could undo some of the budgetary damage. It would honestly be worth the embarrassment. Tbh on just blame it on my husband in these scenarios 😂. Why did he put an iPad on his Christmas list if he already has one? I would guess at home influence more than school (someone’s Apple obsession...). Personally we give smaller presents in the stocking and a larger present from us but I know that’s personal preference. To avoid setting a precedent for next year I would make the iPad your present. The story is Santa must have known you’d already got one for him and it’s rather a big thing to ask Santa for anyway. Our 5 year old did ask the awkward question about why Santa shouldn’t be asked for big things / too many things and we just about convinced him that Santa doesn’t like greedy children and the elves only have time to make just so many toys.

Legs21

Wrap it up and put it away as a “surprise” present. If your son is happy with the haul he receives on Xmas day, then take the “surprise” present back to the shop and get your money back. I did this with my son and a PS4. The “surprise” present stayed in my wardrobe until his birthday the following April. 

stymied

Ps we are an iPad family. The 5 year old will be getting one for his 6th birthday and it will have to be a new one because we’ve run out of old ones that can be refurbished. His big sister has one for the screen clarity as she’s visually impaired otherwise we’d probably have gone for something cheaper. I’m not against decent tech for children if they know to look after it.

enthusiasticsaver

We always used to do the big presents from us which were under the tree and Santa was only asked for small or medium presents. Same as @stymied they would only get decent tech if they look after it.  If he has not looked after his old Ipad how come he gets such an expensive replacement? We are an Ipad family too and the rejects go to the DGDs.