First Steps to Solvency

Willowtree222

Sorry your wife is struggling. Good idea to have the budget reset on the same day so no extra week in Jan.
Glad you've not got the spending urges. 
Have a lovely day. 

alt80

I think Christmas announcement was the last straw for her tbh. She’s been so strong through everything. Things def not been easy for her these past few months. Christmas was a bit of normality for her amongst all the stuff going on. First lockdown was longest she’d not seen her parents/ family she spent a fair amount of that in tears tbh proper daddy’s little girl ha. Not gonna lie she’s propped me up when I’m not really sure she should have so absolute least I can do to support her. Know we’ve not got it as bad as London but think we were both hoping 2021 was going to be a whole lot different corona wise and a departure from the other stuff for us too now looking like more corona uncertainty. 

She’s terrified BoJo going to carry on wrecking the economy everyone inc lenders going to lose confidence and my business be affected in a bad way. Keeps saying to me what if sorting out our finances is too little too late, business severely affected and everything called in, lose our home. I can’t think like that or I know I’d start the self destructive stuff again just how I am which 100 would help nothing. I’m weirdly feeling more optimistic (perhaps unduly idk). Things are in a good place right now, leaving the year better financially than we started it and my head in the right place to make improvements business wise. Working towards finishing off the block also which has been nothing short of a nightmare for me and got options exit wise - she doesn’t see if the market tanks we have other avenues of income and rental sector should hold up if people can’t buy (res). Couple of tenants being a nightmare but that’s not exactly nothing new work with what we have on that front. Lenders actually coming back in with higher ltv for the ftbs so showing some confidence in the market at least, plenty of 4/5% increase predictions but been in the game long enough to take that with a pinch of salt. Commercial been alright too for past couple months - sheds market been ok. Retail on its knees, offices who knows in 2021 but imo wfh full time doesn’t really work that well in practice. Lot of people without proper space at home etc. Yeah I think could be a bumpier ride than we hoped for 2021 and both wife and I were thinking Boris would give up for new year, new start for whole country and put the economy first but we were wrong. Oddly though I’m more optimistic than she is.

Dry jan - one of my senior staff organises a bit of a charity thing for it every year usually do ok. When I told him I’m in this year he was a bit shocked tbh my response every year since he joined my company has been !!!!!! that. Actually asked me if I was doing it because I had realised I have a problem over lockdown cheeky !!!!!!. 😆

Selling stuff - found a couple of other bits tbh I’m probably not going to sell anymore higher valuer items. Can see why some would be but I think it’d probably trigger a massive spending binge in a few months I hate the thought of selling anything I / wife actually care about tbh. Have put the ftype number plate up for sale it’s not an amazing plate and tbh won’t be surprised if it doesn’t sell wife glad it’s gone up for sale though she hated it. Tbh first thought when I saw a pic of the car with it on yesterday was fml what a n*b won’t be going on another car.

Makeup etc. - she’s on no new makeup spends for 3 months she’s ok with it feels the girls in the shops are just trying to do a deal (well yeah of course lol). Accepts she’s got a stupid amount of this stuff, some of it would sell tbh never been opened etc but she won’t I’ve asked her. Won’t take anything back either too embarrassing which I get having been there ha. As for her doing IG videos etc can’t say I want to encourage that at all - she has some issues with looking like the 20 year old influencers full of fillers etc we’ve just got out of that, don’t want her going down that road again. Can’t say I like her having her face pumped with that !!!!!! tbh and she’s obsessed enough with slightest crease/ dark spot whatever FML she’s always going to look decent at side of me ha got 8 years on her and can !!!!!! tell these days.

Budget - had the spending cravings this morning, went and did couple of hours on the work instead lol. Trying for if I want to spend go and make it instead lol. Also doing a headspace series on craving ha I half laugh at myself doing it but it does calm me down a bit. 

Childcare bubble - in-laws refused to form one with us. They’re in two childcare bubbles already (not even sure you can do that tbh) with two of wife’s siblings; they both work full time and in-laws usually have the kids after school / in holidays.

@theoretica😆 the anthem of 2020 right there. Will make my wife laugh tbf thanks. He’s the no more !!!!!! to give bloke - one of my staff is a real moaner someone often reels that tune out and the dads army doom bloke too lol. Miss the office buzzing tbh always something going on - just quiet now wfh for majority and majority of time. 

RelievedSheff

There are a lot of people pinning their hopes on 2021 being better than 2020. While I admire their optimism (or is it naivety?) I can’t help but think we are heading into 2021 in a far worse situation than we started 2020. 

I really can't see next year being any better than this year. We will be having another national lock down after Christmas that is for certain. Jury's out as to how long for, but my money is on longer than the last one.

We are fairly confident that our hireboat holiday at Easter will be cancelled as well. Really can't see the situation improving enough to allow holidays before the beginning of March.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like your wife is catastrophising a bit at the moment.  Cannot really blame her as chopping and changing plans at the last minute is disappointing for lots of us but ultimately I think I can understand the reasoning behind it.  I never really thought that 5 days of letting large groups of people mix indoors was such a good idea.  At least you can get together Christmas day though. 

You are in a much better place now than you were in September so I do not think you need to worry unduly about your business. Dealing with  your finances has put you in a much better place than you were.  People need to live somewhere and the unsecured debt has come down by more than £10k over the last few months and you are keeping within budget. Sounds like your property deals are going ok so calling everything in seems unlikely. As you say retail may be affected but actually our local town has been doing really well although the nearby city is really suffering.  People working from home usually means they shop more locally and certainly that has been the case here. 

I am amazed that your wife is buying so much makeup when we can hardly go anywhere at the moment.  I barely use any these days. Good she has gone on a self imposed ban though. I do think 2021 will be hard for lots of people.  Ironically my youngest daughters company which manages staff training for clients globally has gone from strength to  strength over the year taking on many new clients especially from overseas and now rehiring lots of new staff because they have moved to an e learning model. All the new staff will be working from home so they are saving a bomb in not taking on new office premises and even doing a new later shift pattern so they can cover clients in the US  as well as the EU due to the time difference. My son in law is a social worker and he has never been so busy and my elder daughter seems to be working 24/7 in the civil service so there are many organisations which are still robust.  Companies which can adapt quickly to the new ways of working will do well but yes many will flounder and retail may well suffer but many of us will still buy stuff but either locally or online. I am certainly not as pessimistic as some but do acknowledge that times will be tough for those in insecure employment. 

Good idea to do dry January.  I find alcohol affects my sleep so you may find that this improves for you. 

alt80

@RelievedSheff We’re not booking any hols just throwing the hol budget at the cards. If we can do something I’m ok with booking it on a card tbh so long as it balances or the cards win tbh. 

Unfortunately I think you’re right about start of 2021 - start of 2020 we were joking about it remember start of March some of my staff were worried we’d lock down I was 100 confident BoJo would just keep coming on tv to tell us to wash our hands to two rounds of ‘Happy Birthday’. UK would never lockdown etc etc less than two weeks after that meeting all staff furloughed no !!!!!! idea what was going on. No time to even be concerned haha just dealing with it all. Panicked April and went on the payment hols for everything apart from the BTLs/ comm haha - my income never went down and we opened mid-May. Didn’t even do anything stupid with the extra money - paid it all off cards lol. June was back to normal and just had best December. January looking stupidly busy already. So can’t complain business wise. Life wise it’s been a strange one - I needed this to happen I think to start to put my family first tbh also really start to deal with the debt situation. Wish it hadn’t taken this though.

@enthusiasticsaver yeah think you’re right re wife. I’m feeling much more optimistic about business. Half wife’s issue is she doesn’t really understand the business tbh she’ll read some news article about property market/ economy/ whatever and it’s going to be the end of the world. She can’t see worst comes to I’ll have work if there’s a buoyant market or otherwise whether one balances the other is a different matter and whether cutbacks etc would need to be considered is a different matter but that’s business work with what you have and take opportunities where they arise well that’s my take on it. !!!!!! as it is I’ll get the repos / management to deal with if the market went that way (can’t see that rn tbf).

Wife is a nightmare for the makeup she’s not wearing that much day to day either just a bit of normality for her tbh go to JL and buy it. I know of businesses booming too - always an opportunity somewhere but we always hear the bad news which is all my wife sees. Tbh her world is very small she hears nothing but the doom and gloom.

Hoping the sleep improves been not too bad with the coffee and also been consciously switching to decaf not waking up as much but still struggling to get more than about 6-6.5 hours. Tbh didn’t even have a drink last night and no plans to tonight - unheard of me at Christmas time lol. Did have 3 shot Starbucks this afternoon though haha.

RelievedSheff

We were not going to have a drink today but the other half has come back from work and fancied a beer so we have cracked some open. Dont think it will be many though.

We are fairly lucky that both mine and the other half's career choices are pretty safe. People always need houses and cars always need fixing. We do have family in less fortunate positions though. Brother in law is a head chef. It is looking doubtful that the place he works will survive much longer. He will then join a long queue of other chefs looking for their next job! 

alt80

Think a lot of people not really feeling like it tbh. Fair few of my staff not really bothered at the moment either. One of wife’s sisters and husband are massive drinkers hardly touched a drop since lockdown.

Pub/ restaurant trade in crisis worldwide not just here, absolute nightmare for them - something no one could have guessed. Surprised you’re not more concerned tbh people always need houses absolutely but if profit not there for developer especially the bigger ones they’ll just hang on wait it out. My sister is an architect though comm sector mainly and somewhat concerned; things weren’t  amazing for her in previous recession.

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Think a lot of people not really feeling like it tbh. Fair few of my staff not really bothered at the moment either. One of wife’s sisters and husband are massive drinkers hardly touched a drop since lockdown.

Pub/ restaurant trade in crisis worldwide not just here, absolute nightmare for them - something no one could have guessed. Surprised you’re not more concerned tbh people always need houses absolutely but if profit not there for developer especially the bigger ones they’ll just hang on wait it out. My sister is an architect though comm sector mainly and somewhat concerned; things weren’t  amazing for her in previous recession.

Not concerned in the slightest. The big resi developers are all throwing work at us. Can't remember when we were last as busy.

Even during the last big recession in 2007/2008 we still had work from the developers just not as much. It gave us a chance to catch up on work on the larger ongoing schemes that normally just bumble along in the background. 

alt80

Good to hear it mate. Tbh last recession dire for valuers generally I was building a business lol - always an opportunity. Can’t say I do much for the big res developers and def operating in a different world to me on the development side ha TW not going to be having a !!!!!! panic attack about ability to finish block of 16 flats 😆 FML makes me realise I’ve a long way to go lol but good to get a bit of an insight.   

alt80

Variable spends: £1470/1550.

Need to venture out for son’s Christmas Eve box tomorrow as not bought yet - anyone else even remember this being a thing? I don’t. Wife says we need to do it, don’t want son being only kid without one FML. Budget reset 26th. Christmas Day going to be a no spends day. Not going to Boxing Day sales so should be good start to next month too. Just tomorrow and Christmas Eve to get through. Probably get a Starbucks or similar Christmas Eve tbh and need to buy this Christmas Eve box tomorrow hoping £50 will do that.

Tired again tonight - slowly getting a bit of a sleep pattern back. Also had counselling session for substance use. That session actually really useful for the mindset re debt too trying to fill a void with money or other stuff not really going to work in long run never enough money or coke in the world to do that. Need to learn to live with myself not always trying to be some kind of untouchable version that’s in my head. Glad I’ve reached a turning point and sorting myself out. Not easy and not a day goes by I don’t either think about spending a load of money or getting !!!!!! up or both. Know it’s no good for me, business or my family. Used to think I worked better on it powered me through a fair few all-nighters now just think there was no need for any of that, feel !!!!!! for ages after and less productive so cycle starts again along with the massive downers so go and spend money to cheer myself up a bit. Gets worse with age too. Know a couple of blokes in their 50s still doing it really don’t know how. Start doubting myself so do it again for a buzz, keep going back despite what it does. Counsellor and GP think it’s contributed to my anxiety issues, tbh the full blown panic attacks correspond with periods of abusing substances. I didn’t do it all the time, don’t get me wrong but looking back it 100 hasn’t helped me was getting into a bit of a bad way with it when starting on the debt journey but believed wife none the wiser FML. Probably explains some of my more mental posts tbh.

Wife said today it’s like living with the man she met. Both of us bonded over a liking for nice things but I used to cook for her quite a bit then look after her more not take her for granted, past few days I’ve cooked and looked after the house and son. Less knackered when working lol but been good to spend time with son and wife also just being at home too. Son wrecking me lol full of energy and wife thinks he’s excited to have dad not just holed up in the home office all day. Said to counsellor I’m blessed really, not too many in this city better off than I am, know that but always needed next level. Still want more, always will I think but time to have a bit of appreciation for how lucky I am. On this payback for a while need to learn to live with it or just going to get so far and think !!!!!! it. Hoping quiet few years will do me good tbh just focus on business and family.