Timing for distribution of "estate"

Aranyani

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

 Has it occurred to you that people your age made great sacrifices so that you can have doctors, nurses, hairdressers, power workers, sewerage workers.  We subsidised you as you benefit from our children.  I wouldn't normally say that but I think it is very rude of you so I had to reply.

I don't think anybody who has a child does so in order to provide a nurse or sewer worker for future generations, do they?

That might not be their motivation but it is a fact isn't it.  They probably don't have children to get family deals either, which the OP is so resentful of but she doesn't refuse the services of other people's children.

They have children because they want to have children.  No more no less. 

They don't have them to get cheap entry to attractions which the OP objects to, however she benefits from the sacrifices parents have made to bring up the useful young adults who are paying her pension and looking after the infrastructure.  I can't believe how petty and bitter she is.

No need to get personal like that though.  

Its not easy being a woman without children, especially of the OP's generation. 

Savvy_Sue

Aranyani said:

Its not easy being a woman without children, especially of the OP's generation. 

Maybe so, but I know many single older ladies who seem to make a much better job of it, building good relationships with nephews and nieces and other young people, and not calculating what they're 'owed'.

sweetsand

Incredible thread. When I was younger, every so often one would see a news report where Mrs X had left her entire estate worth a few quid to the "cats and dogs home" and other charity. I could never understand that as i was young.
what gets me these days is courts overturning peoples wills, disgusting that is.
A person should be able to leave their estate, split of estate to whom ever they wished to and if you feel left out,
then the person that passed away did not love you are much or felt yo was not as needy, or was a pretend friend IMO
It is the will makers money, their choice.
My mreal mother died in an accident when i was young as did my OH's both of our dads remairred, they have more money than we do and we have a few bob and have worked hard like may people that know us have. We are not expecting a penny
and have told our dads as they are older than our step mums, we do not want anything when they talked about their wills, they agreed and we are happy with that. Our mums would have wanted us to have something but I think they would have understood and been proud of my and my OH.

x

badmemory

I think what you are all missing is that the OP had to put up with her mother whinging because HER mother did exactly what she herself went & did in her own will.  Certainly proved that the OP's mother lacked a degree of sensitivity.  Obviously sauce for the grandmother is not sauce for the mother!

MoneySeeker1

badmemory said:

I think what you are all missing is that the OP had to put up with her mother whinging because HER mother did exactly what she herself went & did in her own will.  Certainly proved that the OP's mother lacked a degree of sensitivity.  Obviously sauce for the grandmother is not sauce for the mother!

Very true.

Basically a lot of people do seem to use Wills as a "tool of control" to pressurise people to lead their lives as that person wants them to - in this case that would have equalled having a couple of children I didn't actually want to have (and I'm "old-fashioned"/practical enough anyway that it would have been in the very conventional context of marrying the man first and having a house of our own to bring them up in if I had wanted them). 

It's about my - very strong - belief in Freedom for people to lead their lives as they choose - without penalty or restriction - by either people they know personally or Governments. "You do you and I'll do me" being a phrase I use a lot these days...

naedanger

MoneySeeker1 said:

It's about my - very strong - belief in Freedom for people to lead their lives as they choose - without penalty or restriction - by either people they know personally or Governments. 

Does that extend to being free to leave money in their will as they choose? 

Aranyani

naedanger said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

It's about my - very strong - belief in Freedom for people to lead their lives as they choose - without penalty or restriction - by either people they know personally or Governments. 

Does that extend to being free to leave money in their will as they choose? 

It is a good point OP, your stances do seem a bit contradictory.

Malthusian

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

 Has it occurred to you that people your age made great sacrifices so that you can have doctors, nurses, hairdressers, power workers, sewerage workers.  We subsidised you as you benefit from our children.  I wouldn't normally say that but I think it is very rude of you so I had to reply.

I don't think anybody who has a child does so in order to provide a nurse or sewer worker for future generations, do they?

That might not be their motivation but it is a fact isn't it.  They probably don't have children to get family deals either, which the OP is so resentful of but she doesn't refuse the services of other people's children.

They have children because they want to have children.  No more no less. 

They don't have them to get cheap entry to attractions which the OP objects to, however she benefits from the sacrifices parents have made to bring up the useful young adults who are paying her pension and looking after the infrastructure.  I can't believe how petty and bitter she is.

No need to get personal like that though.  

Its not easy being a woman without children, especially of the OP's generation. 

Not easy being a woman with children either. If having children was easier than not having them, babysitters would pay parents to look after their children. Not easy inheriting a billionaire's fortune that will pay for whatever you want for the rest of your life (mo money mo problems).

Unrealistic expectations cause misery, not the lack of money. There's a reason the proverb runs "the love of money is the root of all evil", not "money is the root of all evil" as it is incorrectly and inaccurately stated.

Aranyani

Malthusian said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

 Has it occurred to you that people your age made great sacrifices so that you can have doctors, nurses, hairdressers, power workers, sewerage workers.  We subsidised you as you benefit from our children.  I wouldn't normally say that but I think it is very rude of you so I had to reply.

I don't think anybody who has a child does so in order to provide a nurse or sewer worker for future generations, do they?

That might not be their motivation but it is a fact isn't it.  They probably don't have children to get family deals either, which the OP is so resentful of but she doesn't refuse the services of other people's children.

They have children because they want to have children.  No more no less. 

They don't have them to get cheap entry to attractions which the OP objects to, however she benefits from the sacrifices parents have made to bring up the useful young adults who are paying her pension and looking after the infrastructure.  I can't believe how petty and bitter she is.

No need to get personal like that though.  

Its not easy being a woman without children, especially of the OP's generation. 

Not easy being a woman with children either. 

No, but having children is what society expects of women.  

MoneySeeker1

Aranyani said:

Malthusian said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

Aranyani said:

thepurplepixie said:

 Has it occurred to you that people your age made great sacrifices so that you can have doctors, nurses, hairdressers, power workers, sewerage workers.  We subsidised you as you benefit from our children.  I wouldn't normally say that but I think it is very rude of you so I had to reply.

I don't think anybody who has a child does so in order to provide a nurse or sewer worker for future generations, do they?

That might not be their motivation but it is a fact isn't it.  They probably don't have children to get family deals either, which the OP is so resentful of but she doesn't refuse the services of other people's children.

They have children because they want to have children.  No more no less. 

They don't have them to get cheap entry to attractions which the OP objects to, however she benefits from the sacrifices parents have made to bring up the useful young adults who are paying her pension and looking after the infrastructure.  I can't believe how petty and bitter she is.

No need to get personal like that though.  

Its not easy being a woman without children, especially of the OP's generation. 

Not easy being a woman with children either. 

No, but having children is what society expects of women.  

That is certainly true - and Society is organised around the idea of this and still is - despite the overpopulation problem.

I guess it works too - as so many women do seem to want children. Whereas I don't that often come across men who want them. Only one of my ex-boyfriends wanted children to my knowledge (so definitely he was very much in the minority there). Out of the male friends I have currently there are two that wanted children - and are definitely hands-on doting type fathers to those they have (albeit they are both divorced). But those 3 men I know/knew are the only ones I'm aware of personally that wanted children.

The ironic thing is my brother didn't want children either, but his wife went ahead and had two anyway. Elsewhere in my family my female cousin commented to me that she knew her husband "wasn't keen" on having children, but she made it plain to him she was having some anyway and he "accepted it".

So I don't know whether the whole societal set-up/expectations work better on women than men usually or it's hormones or what. Maybe it didn't work on either myself or my brother because we'd seen clearly that only one of our parents enjoyed being a parent. Cue for me thinking from Day 1 "If that's what it's like to be a mother - count me out....I'm not going to be one". Definitely sometimes it's easier to learn what to avoid from other peoples experience LOL.