Help with relationship

LidLicker

Tough decision, but I agree with everybody else. Might be time to call it time on the relationship.
You could easily walk out of your job and find a 9-5 job to try and save the relationship, but by the sounds of his attitude this wont resolve the issue(s)

prowla

I saw this thread title and wasn't disappointed by the misandrists chipping in with their friendly advice.

My advice is try and put yourself in his shoes; he is not receiving any affection and is probably wondering what the point of it all is.

Also, how do you talk to him - is it inclusive or demanding?

The sure thing is, if you listen to the advice so far, it's only going to do downhill.

onwards&upwards

Sarah90 said:

onwards&upwards said:

You can't work 12 hour shifts and leave the dog alone though.  You'll have to have a plan for that, doggy daycare, family help, a dog-loving flatmate, or share custody with your soon to be ex. 

Oh definitely, i would love to have him 24/7, but its not possible. He would never be left alone though, id make sure of it  

A few hours is ok!  Just not 12!

pinkshoes

To be honest it doesn't sound like the ideal relationship... 

Personally I'd be walking away. Would you be happy swapping jobs? Clearly not. And he is not happy with you working in that job. So what is the point of your relationship, as being with someone is supposed to make you happy. 

Why can't he get a job that isn't 9-5 if he hates being on his own every evening?

Mojisola

prowla said:

I saw this thread title and wasn't disappointed by the misandrists chipping in with their friendly advice.

There's always someone who raises this.

It wouldn't matter if this was a woman behaving childishly or a partner in a same sex relationship - it's not the sex of the partner that's the issue, it's the behaviour.

Add into the mix in this case, the huge discrepancy in libido and it's very hard to see a future for the couple. 

MaterialGirl*

Do you still love and want a future with him? 

When he’s not talking to you do you try to initiate a calm conversation with him and does he just ignore you? You could consider some couples counselling to work on your communication skills. 

Re the difference in libido that is a difficult issue. Has your libido always been low or is it due to your relationship problems? Do you still fancy your boyfriend? I believe if you think you’re libido is not going to improve you need to be honest about this so he can decide if that is something he can live with.

Good luck whatever you two decide.

onwards&upwards

Mojisola said:

prowla said:

I saw this thread title and wasn't disappointed by the misandrists chipping in with their friendly advice.

There's always someone who raises this.

Its the same few from what I've seen, bit weird, stalking a forum so they can jump in to criticise women trying to help each other.   You never actually see them trying to offer any actual advice, including to the men who post here with relationship issues.

Probably just misogynists. 

HampshireH

I would suggest trying to repair before walking away.

Perhaps.

Explain to him that by ignoring you he isn't helping either the situation or your libido as its not attractive.

Sit down and discuss your issues. He is probably lonely. Must be weird being in a relationship and never seeing 1 party because they are always at work.

Perhaps adjust your hours so you make time (it shouldnt just be on him. And this may help your libido as you wont be so tired all the time.

Make sure the time you spend together is quality time and not just doing different things. You could cook, dog walk, cuddle up, watch tv, get intimate or whatever. But don't just do things in isolation of each other.

Don't give up your job as it wont help because you will be miserable. But compromise is key.

He is behaving childishly but you say your working so have you actually seen each other for a period of time to talk? Or do you mean he isnt replying to phone messages etc.

zagfles

So you work in hospitality, presumably you've not been working the last few months? Odd kind of hospitality job that would have carried on through the lockdown. So how was that? It's just you seem to write as if you've not just had 3 months off? 

zagfles

onwards&upwards said:

Mojisola said:

prowla said:

I saw this thread title and wasn't disappointed by the misandrists chipping in with their friendly advice.

There's always someone who raises this.

Its the same few from what I've seen, bit weird, stalking a forum so they can jump in to criticise women trying to help each other.   You never actually see them trying to offer any actual advice, including to the men who post here with relationship issues.

Ah yes, that's why the second paragraph starts "My advice is..."

Try harder next time.