Who should inherit my house?

AW618

onwards&upwards said:

AW618 said:

Hamilton24 said:

AW618 said:

AdrianC said:

AW618 said:

So his father has given him money to buy a place to live, because he cares about him, but would prefer that if he dies he gets that money back rather than it going to somebody he maybe doesn't even like very much.
What's odd about that?

Odd definition of "give". Sounds more like "lend".

Starting off calling it "give", then changing it to "lend" some time later is not the done thing. Give means give.

Yeah, you can make that case, although of course we have no idea what his paernts said when they passed the money over in the first place.  HIs willingness to go along with them is a fair indication that he knows what was said and doesn't think they are being unreasonable.    Still, if you give me your car to help me out and find out I gave it to some guy you despise to help him out and am still without one myself, what are you going feel?

This is a terrible analogy given his parents own lots of property so would most definitely not be without a home and I would sincerely hope they don’t despise me given how much time I spend with them.

It's funy how everyone seems to think  that if you are given a pair of socks at Christmas it is bad manners to give them to somebody else, but if someone gives you £80K to help you out it's fine to give it to someone else.

The OP’s partner hasn’t given the money away though, he’s using it to live his life how HE wants to.

So what?  Maybe they don't want him to live his life like that and wouldn't have given him the money to live his life like that.  It was their money, we don't know what they said.  

"I know you gave me money to go to college, dad, I have decided to spend it on setting up a  racist organisation.  It's my life!"

If somebody gave me something and later I annoyed them and they wanted it back I wouldn't moan on about gifts versus loans.  If I could give it back, I would.  That is the right thing to do.    It was in his power to return the money when he sold the flat.  If he didn't want it, he could have done.

SameOldRoundabout

AW618....are you.....OPs angry father in law? 

theartfullodger

Hamilton24 said:

Who should inherit my house?

Battersea Dogs home or some other charity of your choice.  Much the best all round, and no IHT to be paid!

mrschaucer

AW618 said:
At the time it was given it would automatically have reverted to the parents if he died.

This is probably the nub of the matter.  Parents give sonny some family money to help him on the housing ladder and all is well.  But then new partner appears, and sonny goes and merges said family money with her.  Perhaps parents are of the old fashioned variety and regard partnerships as not as "committed"?  I bet if OP were married to sonny this difficulty would not be arising, as she would be seen as family, and the "for richer for poorer" concept would come into play.

AW618

onwards&upwards said:

AW618 said:

onwards&upwards said:

AW618 said:

Hamilton24 said:

AW618 said:

AdrianC said:

AW618 said:

So his father has given him money to buy a place to live, because he cares about him, but would prefer that if he dies he gets that money back rather than it going to somebody he maybe doesn't even like very much.
What's odd about that?

Odd definition of "give". Sounds more like "lend".

Starting off calling it "give", then changing it to "lend" some time later is not the done thing. Give means give.

Yeah, you can make that case, although of course we have no idea what his paernts said when they passed the money over in the first place.  HIs willingness to go along with them is a fair indication that he knows what was said and doesn't think they are being unreasonable.    Still, if you give me your car to help me out and find out I gave it to some guy you despise to help him out and am still without one myself, what are you going feel?

This is a terrible analogy given his parents own lots of property so would most definitely not be without a home and I would sincerely hope they don’t despise me given how much time I spend with them.

It's funy how everyone seems to think  that if you are given a pair of socks at Christmas it is bad manners to give them to somebody else, but if someone gives you £80K to help you out it's fine to give it to someone else.

The OP’s partner hasn’t given the money away though, he’s using it to live his life how HE wants to.

So what?  Maybe they don't want him to live his life like that and wouldn't have given him the money to live his life like that.  It was their money, we don't know what they said.  

"I know you gave me money to go to college, dad, I have decided to spend it on setting up a  racist organisation.  It's my life!"

If somebody gave me something and later I annoyed them and they wanted it back I wouldn't moan on about gifts versus loans.  If I could give it back, I would.  That is the right thing to do.    It was in his power to return the money when he sold the flat.  If he didn't want it, he could have done.

God help your kids. 

Bit of a stupid comment.  My kids are fine.  I was given things by my parents though, and if they asked for them back for any reason I would do my best to return them instead of whining that "a gift is a gift".  If people do things for you, you owe them.
If I do give my kids something and say "I am giving you this on the condition you do X" then it is up to them to say "OK" or "No, I don't want to do X".  If they say the one and do the other, I will feel disappointed in them.  Wouldn't you?  Of course if I give them something and say "There are no conditions attached to this", then there are no conditions attached.  This stuff is not difficult to anyone over the age of 10.

daivid

AW618 said:

daivid said:

AW618 said:

You can give somebody something with whatever caveats you choose to attach.  They can accept it or not accept it on that basis.

This is true, however if as I suspect is the case the initial gift for the flat purchase was to facilitate a mortgage it almost certainly could not have been a conditional gift. 

Of course it could.  Why couldn't it?  You can give your kids things and tell them whatever you like.  Again, I am not speaking legally here, but morally.

If knowingly giving false information when fulfilling anti-money laundering requirements is moral...

Of course it could still have been a conditional gift legally if a mortgage was found which allowed a 3rd party (the Dad) to have an interest in the property, but that is a very large if.

Rony

To all those saying that a gift is a gift, legally this is correct, meaning that it really is down to OP's partner who he leaves the money to. 

However morally is a bit more grey, with no right or wrong answer imo. If a father were to gift their son a substantial amount for a deposit and the son left it all to a girlfriend of a few months if he were to pass away, would a "gift is a gift" still be apt here? Would it be so far-fetched an idea that the father should want to recoup the deposit?

But then on then on the flip side, if the son and girlfriend have been together for a while, say 10 years for arguments sake and are looking to have kids and get married in the near future, and the deposit was gifted a while back, a degree of independence would be expected on the son's part and I would say that the father's view, whilst it should be taken into account and heard, should not necessarily be the deciding factor. 

But then the question is at what point do these "emotional strings" start to detach and loosen? After 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? There is no right answer and I guess the solution for each couple needs to be assessed on a case by case basis.

So basically I do not have the answer for you OP sorry haha, your partner will have to weigh it out himself.

However just on the other posters' solution of working around the issue, of buying life insurance to cover it seems to be a win-win!

gettingtheresometime

Surely one solution would be to have it written in the will that you have the right to live in the property for life provided a) you want to & or b) until any children are 21.