Who should inherit my house?

elsien

AW618 said:

greatcrested said:

Hamilton24 said:

AdrianC said:

Hamilton24 said:

AdrianC said:

Hamilton24 said:

(this money was inheritance from his grandfather but given to him early so he could buy the flat)

I'm not quite sure what this bit means - could you clarify?

It's only an "early inheritance" if his grandfather's still alive.

Or was it left in a trust until he reached a certain age?

Sorry - I’m probably wording it badly! The money was left to his father by his grandfather when his grandfather died but his dad would be leaving the money to my partner anyway upon his (the dad’s) death so gave him the money early (after the grandfather died but before the dad died) so he could use it to buy his flat.

Ah, so it's just a gift from the father.

Yes, it’s just a gift. 

No, it's a gift with emotional strings...

Well, they gave him the money to buy a flat on his own.  Subsequently he has sold the flat to buy this place.  I can understand why someone would be a bit annoyed if their father had saved all his life to provide them a  legacy, which they then used to help out their son, who put it all at risk with one decision they might not have agreed with.

Father hasn't saved all his life to provide a legacy. Father was left the money by his own dad in his will and chose to pass it down early, so that's a specious argument. 

Hamilton24

FtbDreaming said:

Are one of you ill and likely to die before your or his parents? Why does home ownership suddenly make somebody's demise more appealing? Just live together and hope for a long happy life that at least exceeds the in laws and you'll be fine. I wouldn’t want to argue with anyone over my potential death. 

I’d let him put it in his parents name to keep the peace then as soon as you start a family of your own get his will changed to the child or children, that way the money is still in the family and you only have to spend the next couple of years hoping the OH doesn’t expire prior to having kids! 

I very much hope that neither of us dies anytime soon! It’s his father who has been pushing him to make a will - it hadn’t even occurred to me until then. But if the worst were to happen then I’d like to know that I can still live in my home.

Hamilton24

AW618 said:

Hamilton24 said:

Hamilton24 said:

princeofpounds said:

I can see this both ways. You are a 'partner', but what that means is that you are boyfriend and girlfriend who have bought a property together as tenants-in-common.

Any further commitment is entirely at the discretion of both of you - you are not married or civil partners, you have no dependants. He can choose to leave his money to you, his parents, or the local cats home.

Whilst I could make disparaging comments about his commitment level in refusing to make you a beneficiary of his will, I have no idea about your relationship, and I can also imagine situations where I would want to do the same as him. One example might be if I had nieces and nephews struggling to make ends meet, whilst your only relative was a rich father who could back up your lifestyle and would inherit if you too passed on in turn before he did. 

OK, that's a rather contorted example, but I only make it to show that we should not rush to decisive judgement when we know so little about the two of you. 

Thank you - I appreciate that. As you say, we are boyfriend and girlfriend rather than being engaged or married. He is also clear that if/when we get married the situation would change and I would be left his share of the house. I don’t doubt his commitment to me at all - he is simply struggling with what to do with a well-meaning but controlling parent.

I should add that my parents (who are living in a lovely house mortgage-free but without the spare money that his family have) have absolutely no interest in his share or even my share of the house and are baffled why we don’t just leave the shares to each automatically.

Well they would, wouldn't they? They have spent all their money on their lovely house, while your partner's parents have given him some of their money to buy himself a flat.   Not exactly ground-shaking that these people with no financial stake in it favour the solution that favours their daughter.

You could therefore make a case that my parents would then want to make sure that my share of the house would go to them if something were to happen to me but my parents are aware that I would leave my share of the house to my partner. If something were to happen to one of us then our life insurance would pay out and therefore any beneficiary would stand to inherit a fair bit but my parents aren’t interested.

Hamilton24

AW618 said:

AdrianC said:

AW618 said:

So his father has given him money to buy a place to live, because he cares about him, but would prefer that if he dies he gets that money back rather than it going to somebody he maybe doesn't even like very much.
What's odd about that?

Odd definition of "give". Sounds more like "lend".

Starting off calling it "give", then changing it to "lend" some time later is not the done thing. Give means give.

Yeah, you can make that case, although of course we have no idea what his paernts said when they passed the money over in the first place.  HIs willingness to go along with them is a fair indication that he knows what was said and doesn't think they are being unreasonable.    Still, if you give me your car to help me out and find out I gave it to some guy you despise to help him out and am still without one myself, what are you going feel?

This is a terrible analogy given his parents own lots of property so would most definitely not be without a home and I would sincerely hope they don’t despise me given how much time I spend with them.

foxy-stoat

Change the title deed from Tenants in Common to Joint Tenants - takes a few forms and is painless.
Your other-half can make a Will and leave whatever he likes to who ever he likes.  At least your home will be safe for you and your future children.

Your in-laws don't need to know the title status of your property.

Hamilton24

FtbDreaming said:

AdrianC said:

FtbDreaming said:

I’d let him put it in his parents name to keep the peace then as soon as you start a family of your own get his will changed to the child or children, that way the money is still in the family and you only have to spend the next couple of years hoping the OH doesn’t expire prior to having kids! 

It's a commitment thing on the OH's part, to me.

But, then, OH and I have been together damn near 25 years, unmarried, no kids. Should my one remaining parent be ahead of her on my will...?

Not at all. But the OP sounded like they do have intentions of having kids in the future. But then again they may split before that happens in which case the in laws would have been correct to have wanted the cash protected. 

If it was a long term relationship of 25 years you'd think things would automatically be equal by then and it wouldn't even be up for discussion. In the early stages of setting up a life together people are a little bit more cautious. 

The money is protected if we split - if we split and sell the house, we each get back what we put into the mortgage 50/50 and then the rest of the profit gets divided 70/30 as per the deed of trust. This situation is only if he were to die while we are still living together and in a committed and loving relationship.

AW618

elsien said:

AW618 said:

greatcrested said:

Hamilton24 said:

AdrianC said:

Hamilton24 said:

AdrianC said:

Hamilton24 said:

(this money was inheritance from his grandfather but given to him early so he could buy the flat)

I'm not quite sure what this bit means - could you clarify?

It's only an "early inheritance" if his grandfather's still alive.

Or was it left in a trust until he reached a certain age?

Sorry - I’m probably wording it badly! The money was left to his father by his grandfather when his grandfather died but his dad would be leaving the money to my partner anyway upon his (the dad’s) death so gave him the money early (after the grandfather died but before the dad died) so he could use it to buy his flat.

Ah, so it's just a gift from the father.

Yes, it’s just a gift. 

No, it's a gift with emotional strings...

Well, they gave him the money to buy a flat on his own.  Subsequently he has sold the flat to buy this place.  I can understand why someone would be a bit annoyed if their father had saved all his life to provide them a  legacy, which they then used to help out their son, who put it all at risk with one decision they might not have agreed with.

Father hasn't saved all his life to provide a legacy. Father was left the money by his own dad in his will and chose to pass it down early, so that's a specious argument. 

"Their father" refers to the grandfather.  The father is the one whio is a bit annoyed, in this instance.  So no, it isn't.
"Pass it down early" is nonsense.  There's no obligation on him to pass it down anywhere.  It was his money.

maisie_cat

hazyjo said:

Why are you paying 50/50 then on everything if you're only getting 30% if you split up? You'd have done better just owing him the money (however much that 20% was to take it to 50/50).

As somebody else said, the sums are often wrong, assuming you have a repayment mortgage you are increasing your share with every mortgage payment so the 70:30 is not correct. When we bought our last house the equity was 90:10 and the mortgage was repaid at 75:25 so it made for a complex spreadsheet especially as the mortgage split altered over time

AW618

Hamilton24 said:

AW618 said:

AdrianC said:

AW618 said:

So his father has given him money to buy a place to live, because he cares about him, but would prefer that if he dies he gets that money back rather than it going to somebody he maybe doesn't even like very much.
What's odd about that?

Odd definition of "give". Sounds more like "lend".

Starting off calling it "give", then changing it to "lend" some time later is not the done thing. Give means give.

Yeah, you can make that case, although of course we have no idea what his paernts said when they passed the money over in the first place.  HIs willingness to go along with them is a fair indication that he knows what was said and doesn't think they are being unreasonable.    Still, if you give me your car to help me out and find out I gave it to some guy you despise to help him out and am still without one myself, what are you going feel?

This is a terrible analogy given his parents own lots of property so would most definitely not be without a home and I would sincerely hope they don’t despise me given how much time I spend with them.

"They have lots of money so they should give me some" has never been a sound argument. Maybe they have lots of property because they haven't spent all their money on holidays and expensive rabbits, while you have.  Not saying you have, just saying it is immaterial.
I didn't say anything about anyone being without anything.  
It's funy how everyone seems to think  that if you are given a pair of socks at Christmas it is bad manners to give them to somebody else, but if someone gives you £80K to help you out it's fine to give it to someone else.

Hamilton24

Basically all I want is to know that I’ll be able to live in my home if something were to happen to my partner without my home being owned by his parents. Is it possible to remortgage a property so that if something were to happen to my partner, I could then remortgage the property (which would then be mortgage-free due to our life insurance) and release money to give to his parents so they’d get their money back? Or could the will be written so that I can live in the house with a controlling interest in the house but if I were to marry someone else and sell the house, the parents would get their money back? I don’t want their money, I just want to be able to live in my home so trying the find the best way to do this.