I've done it again....

Newstart3

Just looked at my spending in the Barclays app and I spent £580 on food shopping & takeaways in June.  Thankfully my partner is back to work now, but that's WAY too high.  Hoping the switch to Aldi and drinking less will have a considerable affect on this! 

TheAble

I would say don't be too hard on yourself - skill with money comes more naturally to some than others. Just try and improve in one area at a time then move onto the next. After a while it becomes a habit, and once you've established the good habits you're a long way out of the woods. Looking at your SOA, one of the most basic things you could do is move your Netflix down a level, to the minimum 5.99 a month. Then focus on the Sky TV, then the mobile phones, and so on. Gradually reduce the ciggies - maybe by £10 a month? After a while you can tackle the bigger stuff such as your car etc

kimwp

I very much agree with not being too hard on yourself...and also perhaps thinking about how you talk about the situation and yourself. For example, rather than saying "I am not responsible" (which gives you no room to improve or learn), try "I've made some mistakes and I'm going to learn new behaviours" maybe? Looking back to understand why you got back into the situation, as you are doing, is very useful to figure out changes to make to avoid another repeat, but don't beat yourself up about having made those mistakes, we are only human.

enthusiasticsaver

You should have  a decent surplus according to that soa especially if your partner pays the mortgage and bills so really there should be no reason why you have debt.  It is not like your income is not enough to cover outgoings but undoubtedly while your partner was on furlough you did not cut spending and so the debt rose.  That food shopping and takeaway spend is huge for one month.  The cigarettes are an expensive luxury.  Have you tried to stop smoking?  

Newstart3

TheAble said:

I would say don't be too hard on yourself - skill with money comes more naturally to some than others. Just try and improve in one area at a time then move onto the next. After a while it becomes a habit, and once you've established the good habits you're a long way out of the woods. Looking at your SOA, one of the most basic things you could do is move your Netflix down a level, to the minimum 5.99 a month. Then focus on the Sky TV, then the mobile phones, and so on. Gradually reduce the ciggies - maybe by £10 a month? After a while you can tackle the bigger stuff such as your car etc

I know the cigarettes need to go.  I'm just trying not to change too much at once, as I've tried this before and I always end up failing cos I get overwhelmed.  I've taken £40 out my bank account this morning as spending money for the week and I'm going to try not to dip into my current account by leaving the card at home.  I bought a travel coffee mug last week to avoid expensive coffees on the go (I travel approx. 3 times a week for work).  The sky TV & Netflix are a bit of a luxury I will admit, but as I don't really contribute to the household bills & I don't think my partner would be happy if I reduced the packages on these.  Actually writing that now, has made me think my overspending on nice household items like food, takeaways, drinks & treats is probably because I feel guilty because I don't feel like I'm contributing (although I do all the household chores, laundry and help him with the admin side of his business).  I think I'm going to speak to him about that now because I know he wouldn't want me to feel like that. Thanks, I think that's been a bit of a light bulb moment for me

Paperback_Writer

Newstart3 said:

ryanm8655 said:

 On that point, can you tell me what the middle aisle in Aldi is all about?? lol 

Stay away from the middle aisle at Aldi - there be dragons! I know someone who went in there for milk and potatoes but came out with an angle grinder as well!

helensbiggestfan

Paperback_Writer said:

Newstart3 said:

ryanm8655 said:

 On that point, can you tell me what the middle aisle in Aldi is all about?? lol 

Stay away from the middle aisle at Aldi - there be dragons! I know someone who went in there for milk and potatoes but came out with an angle grinder as well!

😂🤣.   Sometimes known as Treasure Aisle. 😉

one of the best money management books I have read is called "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich".  To be fair there's no reason why men can't read and learn from it too and find it just as helpful.  It deals not just with the practical aspects of handling money but also looks at some of the psychology that informs the way we manage (or mismanage) our finances.  

It's is American so some of the tax, social security and investment advice is not applicable but the basic principles can apply anywhere.  I wish I had read it when I was in my 20s (it wasn't written then) rather than only discovering now that I'm already retired.  If I had had access to that kind of knowledge and information back then I would be seriously wealthy by now. 😁.  Still you're never too old to learn and I'm still finding it very helpful.  

Op you can get debt free, you've done it before and the real beauty is you are young enough to learn new habits. 

TheAble

My point on the Netflix was - do you really need the two screen package? Moving down to one screen means you still have Netflix but with a saving of £36 per year. And if you really both want to watch at the same time, well maybe one person could watch the Sky instead for a while. It's just an example of an easy way to save cash with minimal hardship - you then apply this line of thinking to all your other expenses as well.

Candy0107

This thread has made me realise that I am over using my credit card (for day to day spending). I have just opened a monzo account to re-focus my mind !
Candy x

enthusiasticsaver

I would definitely talk to your partner as if you are over compensating for not contributing to the bills by overspending in other areas like food and treats then you are wasting an opportunity to get straight financially. Pay off those smaller credit cards and definitely the Next which is expensive then close them so you won't be tempted to spend on them again. What interest rates are you paying?