I've done it again....

Newstart3

enthusiasticsaver said:

I would definitely talk to your partner as if you are over compensating for not contributing to the bills by overspending in other areas like food and treats then you are wasting an opportunity to get straight financially. Pay off those smaller credit cards and definitely the Next which is expensive then close them so you won't be tempted to spend on them again. What interest rates are you paying? 

You’re absolutely right, we’ve had a great conversation about it & we’ve set some short term & long term goals. He’s been really supportive. All the credit I have is high interest (20%ish I think) I know the fluid credit card adds about £40 in interest a month. I’m using a snowball method so the Next account is going next, followed by fluid then Tesco. I had some savings which I used to clear 2 other cards last month. I’ve rang and cancelled both cards today (previously I would have left these open... just in case) which is why I’ve got myself into this mess! I’ve got a few high value items I don’t use, so I’m going to list on eBay this week to bring my DFD a bit closer. Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. 

Newstart3

helensbiggestfan said:

Paperback_Writer said:

Newstart3 said:

ryanm8655 said:

 On that point, can you tell me what the middle aisle in Aldi is all about?? lol 

Stay away from the middle aisle at Aldi - there be dragons! I know someone who went in there for milk and potatoes but came out with an angle grinder as well!

😂🤣.   Sometimes known as Treasure Aisle. 😉

one of the best money management books I have read is called "Nice Girls Don't Get Rich".  To be fair there's no reason why men can't read and learn from it too and find it just as helpful.  It deals not just with the practical aspects of handling money but also looks at some of the psychology that informs the way we manage (or mismanage) our finances.  

It's is American so some of the tax, social security and investment advice is not applicable but the basic principles can apply anywhere.  I wish I had read it when I was in my 20s (it wasn't written then) rather than only discovering now that I'm already retired.  If I had had access to that kind of knowledge and information back then I would be seriously wealthy by now. 😁.  Still you're never too old to learn and I'm still finding it very helpful.  

Op you can get debt free, you've done it before and the real beauty is you are young enough to learn new habits. 

I’m going to see if I can download that book now, it sounds like it would be perfect for me. Thank you 

IrishSean

Just read your thread

I sometimes feel worse in my situation; i've run up debts, paid them off, run them up again, cashed in joint savings to clear, and again, family gave ££ to clear...

This time i've paid £6k down myself  (4 gone 2 left)..

My diary probably reads a bit meh, he's only £2k. The problem is I can't settle until all the savings & gifts are replenished: they total a nett amount of £33191. Of course saving (in theory) is easier as you're not swimming away from the apr sharks all the time. At the minute it feels like climbing Everest

I think the psychological effect is the same; i've yet to read a DFW diary that didn't have a mental health or emotional reason for debt behind it. 

That aside, a small luxury free life is no life. I'd sooner take longer to repay than never have a beer or a takeaway or meet friends for a meal. People have definitely benefited from counselling; have a focus, something to save for: when debts gone be as aggressive as pos. on savings, pref lockaway whats not  an emergency fund. 

Any tried and tested money self help books are great.

You're addressing the issue early & have paid back much bigger amounts before

Keep a DFW diary going here, it'll keep you focused 💪💪💪

GL!

Singlespeeder

TheAble said:

My point on the Netflix was - do you really need the two screen package? Moving down to one screen means you still have Netflix but with a saving of £36 per year. And if you really both want to watch at the same time, well maybe one person could watch the Sky instead for a while. It's just an example of an easy way to save cash with minimal hardship - you then apply this line of thinking to all your other expenses as well.

Personally I wouldn't. The basic package is only broadcast in Standard Definition, not HD and certainly not 4k. If your TV is anything like modern with 4k ability you'll likely really miss the clarity.

monetxchange

Newstart3 said:

monetxchange said:

I'd agree on the getting rid of all credit cards forever. There's a weird thing that people try and tell themselves after debt clearing, that having credit cards and paying them off in full is purely for their credit rating - when actually I think it's more of a safety net of knowing they could blow some money they didn't have if they really wanted to. This is the exact reason why I don't use credit cards. I know I can't be trusted not to run them up, even after years of not using them. It's like being a recovering addict really - you can't ever just have "one" if you've had a problem with spending before.

Well done on taking the first step. Getting your finances organised isn't fun, but it really does take the pressure off once it's all done. You know how to debt clear. I don't think it's that you're bad with money necessarily, just that you've chosen to put your head in the sand and spend away for so long that anything else seems strange. Not a criticism - I'm speaking very much from my own experience too! This forum is a great place to get the money education many of us didn't get in school or from families. Good luck!

I think you are absolutely right, it's a bit like being a gambling addict and still having gambling sites on your phone.  It's too convenient with internet shopping now or having a big blow out when I've been feeling low.  I actually have a few expensive things I don't use, so I'm going to put these on ebay and use the money to pay off some of the debt.  

I initially just used the credit card to pay for my fuel every month, then pay in full.  I've looked back on my statements and I think the problem or trigger was using the credit card to pay for meals and expenses whilst travelling for work.  I'd get my expenses paid back the following month, but rather than use it to repay the debt, I'd treat it like extra cash.  Hopefully having some savings to fall back on, should help with these unexpected bills. 

Thanks, your input has been really helpful  

I've absolutely been there with the travel "expenses" thing. I actually do have one credit card squirrelled deep away in several suitcases with my travel stuff that I take with (or used to anyway) when I travelled for work for stuff like hotel room service holds and excess baggage etc claimable back. I did notice that sometimes I'd get a bit silly throwing a round of drinks on etc, but what I found helped was to track every penny on a spreadsheet or app so that I could pay it off on payday - that way I'd budgeted for that money already going out to pay off the card as soon as it came in. That way it really helped mentally to think of it as deducted before it came into my hands if you see what I mean. It also helps rein you in a bit when you see how much how it is!

You'd be surprised what will sell on eBay - not just expensive items. I've actually done better on random cheaply bought clothes sometimes than I have things that I thought would keep value. Very much worth sticking everything on there. It's really hard at the start, but I promise (as naff as it sounds) that you will get to a stage when the thrill of saving money/seeing it go up instead of down is as good as spending it!

Check out Cooking on a Bootstrap blog for super cheap recipes to help cut your shopping/takeaway bill. Some of the recipes on there are part of my core meals even when I don't have to be so frugal - some real delicious food. On the smoking front, though I'm not encouraging it, have you tried vaping to replace at least some of the habit? You could try gradually. There are some cheap e-liquids around if you think that would help save on cig money.

Newstart3

monetxchange said:

Newstart3 said:

monetxchange said:

I'd agree on the getting rid of all credit cards forever. There's a weird thing that people try and tell themselves after debt clearing, that having credit cards and paying them off in full is purely for their credit rating - when actually I think it's more of a safety net of knowing they could blow some money they didn't have if they really wanted to. This is the exact reason why I don't use credit cards. I know I can't be trusted not to run them up, even after years of not using them. It's like being a recovering addict really - you can't ever just have "one" if you've had a problem with spending before.

Well done on taking the first step. Getting your finances organised isn't fun, but it really does take the pressure off once it's all done. You know how to debt clear. I don't think it's that you're bad with money necessarily, just that you've chosen to put your head in the sand and spend away for so long that anything else seems strange. Not a criticism - I'm speaking very much from my own experience too! This forum is a great place to get the money education many of us didn't get in school or from families. Good luck!

I think you are absolutely right, it's a bit like being a gambling addict and still having gambling sites on your phone.  It's too convenient with internet shopping now or having a big blow out when I've been feeling low.  I actually have a few expensive things I don't use, so I'm going to put these on ebay and use the money to pay off some of the debt.  

I initially just used the credit card to pay for my fuel every month, then pay in full.  I've looked back on my statements and I think the problem or trigger was using the credit card to pay for meals and expenses whilst travelling for work.  I'd get my expenses paid back the following month, but rather than use it to repay the debt, I'd treat it like extra cash.  Hopefully having some savings to fall back on, should help with these unexpected bills. 

Thanks, your input has been really helpful  

I've absolutely been there with the travel "expenses" thing. I actually do have one credit card squirrelled deep away in several suitcases with my travel stuff that I take with (or used to anyway) when I travelled for work for stuff like hotel room service holds and excess baggage etc claimable back. I did notice that sometimes I'd get a bit silly throwing a round of drinks on etc, but what I found helped was to track every penny on a spreadsheet or app so that I could pay it off on payday - that way I'd budgeted for that money already going out to pay off the card as soon as it came in. That way it really helped mentally to think of it as deducted before it came into my hands if you see what I mean. It also helps rein you in a bit when you see how much how it is!

You'd be surprised what will sell on eBay - not just expensive items. I've actually done better on random cheaply bought clothes sometimes than I have things that I thought would keep value. Very much worth sticking everything on there. It's really hard at the start, but I promise (as naff as it sounds) that you will get to a stage when the thrill of saving money/seeing it go up instead of down is as good as spending it!

Check out Cooking on a Bootstrap blog for super cheap recipes to help cut your shopping/takeaway bill. Some of the recipes on there are part of my core meals even when I don't have to be so frugal - some real delicious food. On the smoking front, though I'm not encouraging it, have you tried vaping to replace at least some of the habit? You could try gradually. There are some cheap e-liquids around if you think that would help save on cig money.

I used to sell loads on ebay but haven't done in a while, I need to get back in the habit.  Now that lockdown has eased I have lots of formal dresses which usually sell quite well as they are branded.  Also quite a few bits of house things and unwanted gifts, I could put on ebay marketplace.  If I could even clear half my Next account, it would put me in a good place to clear my debt a month earlier in October.
I'll have a look at the bootstrap blog, although my partner was a chef so really we've no excuse to not be cooking from scratch!  I defo think we could introduce some quick cheap meals during the week, would help with the budget.   We've actually been living out the freezer this week, although I need to pop to the shops tonight as we've run out of the basics.  Definitely writing a list and sticking to it.  
I actually stopped smoking last year for months using patches/ mouth spray, although without a prescription these add up to about £20 a week, but that's still a saving.  I need to mentally prepare myself and pick a date to stop.

Newstart3

IrishSean said:

Just read your thread

I sometimes feel worse in my situation; i've run up debts, paid them off, run them up again, cashed in joint savings to clear, and again, family gave ££ to clear...

This time i've paid £6k down myself  (4 gone 2 left)..

My diary probably reads a bit meh, he's only £2k. The problem is I can't settle until all the savings & gifts are replenished: they total a nett amount of £33191. Of course saving (in theory) is easier as you're not swimming away from the apr sharks all the time. At the minute it feels like climbing Everest

I think the psychological effect is the same; i've yet to read a DFW diary that didn't have a mental health or emotional reason for debt behind it. 

That aside, a small luxury free life is no life. I'd sooner take longer to repay than never have a beer or a takeaway or meet friends for a meal. People have definitely benefited from counselling; have a focus, something to save for: when debts gone be as aggressive as pos. on savings, pref lockaway whats not  an emergency fund. 

Any tried and tested money self help books are great.

You're addressing the issue early & have paid back much bigger amounts before

Keep a DFW diary going here, it'll keep you focused 💪💪💪

GL!

I know what you mean, I feel like I've been stuck in the same vicious circle since I turned 18.  You're right, it's the interest that kills you and spread over a few cards it definitely adds up.  I've just calculated up the interest from my June statements and it's £100 a month. It probably was twice that until I cleared some cards last month. I keep checking for 0% offers but at the moment I'm overcommitted, so nothings really coming up.  
After paying back the debt last year, I felt like I could finally enjoy myself for the first time in years.  But clearly it's come at a cost, and now I'm annoyed at myself for not being more sensible.  I literally have nothing to show for it!
I'm going to start a DFW diary to keep me motivated.  I have a habit, of almost paying it all back then giving up and returning to my old ways.  I started reading the 'nice girls don't get rich' book kindly recommended on this thread and it makes a lot of sense to me.  My partner and I have thought of some financial goals - short term = clearing my debt, Mid term = decent savings & a holiday, longer term = buying a house to rent out as an investment & refurbing our current home (neglected Victorian townhouse that's not seen a paint brush for 20 years!!) , although he thinks we should get a joint account as I'm concerned about my over spending (he's not got any debt other than his car).  I'm not comfortable doing this until my old defaults and CCJ's are gone... 11 months to go & counting! 

enthusiasticsaver

Do you want me to move this thread to the diaries section for you? 

Newstart3

enthusiasticsaver said:

Do you want me to move this thread to the diaries section for you? 

enthusiasticsaver said:

Do you want me to move this thread to the diaries section for you? 

Yes that would be really helpful thank you! 

enthusiasticsaver

I have moved this to diaries for you.