Sh*t creek - is now in my rear view mirror...!

Irenadler

In other news, DWP are saying that I now have 'limited capacity to work', which is a real downer and definitely rules out the chance to go back to my old job because it is full on, deadlines, stress, full-time and totally needs me to be on the ball with accuracy.... suppose I am kidding myself that I am 100% fit.  Trying really hard to stop the downwards spin out into stress/comfort eating, and what follows..... I am going to give up on achieving a waist-line, and aim instead for less spare tyres. Just the one ta....

MovingForwards

That is actually really good news Ren! Means light touch and doesn't mean you cannot go back to your old job, so dust yourself down and have a brew. You can breathe easy now x

Irenadler

Oh, ok Babs, I have been too down to check what it means, just assuming the worst, as ever.... maybe it is a good thing with all that's going on, so I have a chance to help relative (hopefully temporarily rather than permanently). Just felt gutted with the decision....

MovingForwards

It is a good thing Ren! You don't need them to say you are not currently well enough to work, deep down you do know it BUT the only way is up from here on 😉
Now you can focus on looking after relative AND getting yourself sorted out. There's a bit more flexibility when it comes to working with this decision than UC 🤗

Irenadler

I suppose I do know it deep down, that I definitely need a breather, with helping relatives. And I know I have to get more help. Still paddling around in that river in Egypt (de Nile).....

In better news, pushed myself to do more surveys & remembering to add to sig...

Skint_yet_Again

Hope you can relax now Ren. I think it’s good that they have recognised you are not fit for all work, so many people get assessed as fit when they are not. It will give you time to get in a better place and find something suitable when you are ready. Try not to see it as a bad thing 

Irenadler

Thanks Skinty, I guess I just don't like to think that I am in the category of needing help.... feels like failure. It makes me feel better helping relatives. Somehow it's easier helping others than yourself.

MovingForwards

First step to any recovery is recognising there's a blip. That isn't failure.
Look at it as being in the category of needing a break from the hamster wheel 🤗

Keep up the surveys, they all help look after the pennies.

Irenadler

Thanks Babs
Yes - a bump in the road..... I have tried a game survey, a first for me, on both counts. Hilariously bad at it, but, mindless distraction was nice. 

In other news, had a massive shock looking at my bank balance..... but, in a good way....

I have checked, and double-checked, and now, triple-checked, and checked with UC, and well, still in shock. They have awarded me some extra help of the monetary kind! And back-dated it to July! So, instead of just UC I am getting 'limited capability payment'. Did not know it existed, didn't even cross my radar, never applied for it, but DWP decided to assess me for it as I mentioned the other week, and that was what the interview assessment was for! Duh! I am an eejit....

Too scared to mention the total, in case they realise it's wrong and ask for it back....

All I can say is it makes a huge difference to my savings - instead of saving £50 a month for the EF, and taking 8 or 9 months, the goal is reached! Suffering a mixture of relief, guilt, doubt, feeling I don't deserve it, there are others who need it more, you name it, but I cannot stress enough how it has made me feel so much less vulnerable. If something breaks, I can afford to have it repaired, or potentially replaced, which is a place I haven't been in all year. Still haven't replaced the hairdryer since it broke weeks ago. But I have decided not to buy another and keep the hair short so I don't need one. Now that is a huge mindset change for me....

Irenadler

I am trying to be sensible, and not go beserkers with it, the EF will be kept away from me in a separate account.

And, although it sounds crackers, I am sticking to growing savings as I feel increasing the EF is a good way to go. However, I am challenging myself to save £100 per month, not £50, so I will see if I can stretch to that now, with the little extra coming in.... I really don't know how long it will be coming in, and really scared to waste it.

Now I understand how you all feel when you've saved a bit up, and have the worry of how/what to spend, or, if to spend at all. It feels like a security blanket. And sadly, no, I am not going to cash it out and roll around on it! I'd be too tempted to spend it!!!

Pinch me, I am dreaming? Has it really happened? Am I hallucinating, and will I wake up in the shower thinking it wasn't real....?

Nope, I have checked again and it is in there.