Sh*t creek - is now in my rear view mirror...!

Irenadler

Skint_yet_Again said:

Haha know the feeling re the sudden recovery when arriving at the vets 😆 (apart from last time when she was really poorly) & eating anything in sight. Glad your li’l pup is ok 🐶 

Ha! Thanks!! Yeah, little minx! Love her to bits though, I think she realised where we were going, and was doing the 'walk of doom to the vets to be poked at' thing. It's still worth it for peace of mind, given her age, dreading not having her with me in the future....

MovingForwards

Somehow you need to find a way of refocusing and moving your thoughts when the trigger happens, even if it's colouring books, taking doggy for a walk, cleaning, gardening, talking to someone or a combination of several things. It's all trial and error.
Maybe things will be a little better with your meds, only time will tell and don't be afraid of approaching the Dr again.

Surveys are like that, but you will get to do a few over time, again it will help buy you things.

It's not too little, too late. Add check state pension position to your to do list.
Have you any old pensions from old jobs? 

Savings are a strange thing and need to be balanced between what the current you needs, what you need short-term (annual Insurance, vets, clothes etc) and what you need long-term (carpet, appliances, repairs). For now focus on the current and short-term, get the hang of that and believe in yourself, then you can think about long-term.

Irenadler

MovingForwards said:

Somehow you need to find a way of refocusing and moving your thoughts when the trigger happens, even if it's colouring books, taking doggy for a walk, cleaning, gardening, talking to someone or a combination of several things. It's all trial and error.
Maybe things will be a little better with your meds, only time will tell and don't be afraid of approaching the Dr again.
Thanks Babs, meds are making me feel a little steadier, but that may be a placebo effect as it's supposed to take a few weeks to kick in...Sadly its like some weird sort of automatic response to the trigger, and I can't seem to snap out of it as its like the awareness of what's happening isn't even there. Like a kind of brain shut-down/body response, if that makes sense? Maybe the counsellor has some techniques....
Surveys are like that, but you will get to do a few over time, again it will help buy you things.
I will keep at it, and maybe try a different one too....
It's not too little, too late. Add check state pension position to your to do list.
Have you any old pensions from old jobs? 
Ok, I finally pushed myself to do this. Must sort more paperwork and get rid of some of it....I know I asked for one years back, and have finally dug it out, so I do have eligibility for State pension from age 66...I had requested a state pension summary in 2013, which showed I would get £115.10 per week....OR around £496.26 per month, more than I get now! It does state this amount increases with inflation, so should be better than I thought. Wish my brain remembered these things....

AND I delved in the mountain of paperwork because at the back of my mind I know I have another company one somewhere from years and years back, so found a letter dated 2017 which was showing CETV £73000 odd which I didn't do anything with, so it's still with them! I am not completely done for when retiring....Stupid brain...
Savings are a strange thing and need to be balanced between what the current you needs, what you need short-term (annual Insurance, vets, clothes etc) and what you need long-term (carpet, appliances, repairs). For now focus on the current and short-term, get the hang of that and believe in yourself, then you can think about long-term.

Thanks Babs, a little gentle poking with a long stick prodding and I got to grips with that heaving mountain of paperwork. Some of it has actually been sorted for shredding, some actually filed away where I can FIND IT, and ahem, some has been shovelled back in the cupboard of doom where it will fall out on me next time I open the door....It makes me feel less depressed about retirement now, not a huge amount, by a lot of people's standards, but the fact I am surviving on less than the actual state pension now, gives me hope I could cope when retired. Doesn't give much lee-way for house repairs/maintenance, or any frills, but still....

BALANCE. I think that is a key word for me in all aspects of my life, including financial. That reminds me I have to deduct the £41 from the EF spent at the vets... Definitely looking forward to getting my next 'payment' and properly saving something this time...

MovingForwards

I'm sure there are some techniques which can be passed on to you. Add it to your to do list to contact them. Perhaps you need to start recognising the early warning signs (if there are any) and use that as your guide to start the refocusing. Wouldn't work if it's 0 - 100 in a blink of an eye though.

With medication it's based on a majority, the majority of people will need a few weeks before noticing the benefit, that means some people will feel the benefit sooner.

Pensions sound very promising! I thought you may have one or two hidden. That money will cover the fun side eg the treats, the replacement of items and repairs.
As it's been a while since your last state pension forecast, ask for an updated one. Add that to your November to do list.
Keep all your pension paperwork in its own bag / box, so you can easily add to it.
Hopefully you feel a bit more reassured as retirement sounds like it's covered 🤗

You've come a long way, in a very short time 😊

Irenadler

Thanks Babs!
I keep thinking too pessimistically, instead of actually delving deeper, sorting out the facts from my morbid imagination .... Yeah, unfortunately the last trigger was that - 0-60mph in seconds... Totally blind-sided me as I had my guard down, with family, and really didn't expect what happened...

Hopefully, my new budget-saving ways will take my retirement from 'scraping by', to 'nice nest egg' if I stick at it...

Noted: pension update statement will be the next task on the to-do list.

MovingForwards

It's easy to be a pessimist, so much harder to be an optimist. Even if just one thing moves to the optimist list, it's a good start.

There will be a coping mechanism for your trigger, it's a case of finding it. Then trusting a few people with a word or sign to help you, if you're in company when it happens. 

At a guess, the future retired you will have at least double what you're on now, plus a few perks too eg travel pass, prescriptions etc and a little in the bank for some fun.

Irenadler

Thanks Babs!
I managed to break my hair dryer, attacked my hair with scissors and had to have it repaired by a (visored) hairdresser, whilst wearing a mask - weirdest experience ever....

In true MSE style, asked for a non-hair drying style, dry cut only, well it had to be short after what I did to it! But have to deduct from the little savings I have.... I haven't dyed it in over a year, getting used to the grey now, although some of it looks a bit 'Mallen streak'!

And I went shopping for groceries, and well, spent too much.... sigh.

Added up the receipts for September, and so far spent £149.85, not including £42.34 at Vets (for bouncy dog!)

So, have to take that off EF.... that's a stupid £192.09....

Skint_yet_Again

Are you meal planning and taking a list when you go shopping? It might help to list what you have already & what meals you can make & just buy any additional bits you need to make the meal. 

I’ve started my shopping list for next week. Pasta bake & stew are on the menu. If I’m going to buy something not on my list I make myself put something else back. 

I’d love to be brave enough to go completely grey but I think it would age me at 52. 

Irenadler

Updated my sig, after virtuously withdrawing cash £100 for groceries for September, I have overspent an extra £49.75. so nearly £150. NOT going to the shops for a couple of weeks and putting myself in the 'dunce' corner....

Then there was the £42.34 at the Vet's, then there was the attempted hair cut 'I have to wear a hat in a heatwave disaster'  corrected with a £15 hairdresser trip....

Gah! Makes me realise how vitally important savings are, 2 event's and lack of self restraint at the groceries, and I am nervously eying the diminishing funds and wondering if I should be allowed out anywhere..... I am a long way from the daily/weekly budgeting properly, and saving properly.

I will not let this get to me, I know the MH reactions = uncontrolled impulses, and at least there is something in the bank, not zero's, not negative balance, and no debt.... See Bab's, the optimist is fighting to get out!  

MovingForwards

I'm not brave enough either for the 'natural' look, sticking with my unnatural vibrant colour 😁

Ok, let's try and come up with a plan shall we 😉
Money = temptation
Therefore forget taking a chunk of money out to last, that's not currently working for you. From now on, only take out £50 or whatever you allow yourself each week. Leave the debit card at home at all other times!
Do you roughly know the cost of things you buy? If so, write the shopping list out and put the prices next to each item. Use an online calculator on your laptop to add up your shopping and make sure it comes in under your allowable spend for that week. 
When shopping, do not browse. A1D1 and L1D1 don't move their food around that often. Target the aisle you need, go straight for the item, if it's not on your list, you're not buying it.

Once you learn to control money and accept it's fine to have savings, things will fall into place 🤗