A lightbulb?-Now MM's 5 in 4 challenge!

MidlandsMum

The soft stuff hit the fan last night, he had his LBM.

We are, starting tomorrow, operating on a cash only basis. We will draw £200 out every friday and we will have to live on that only. Any extra left over will initially pay off the overdraft and then go at the CC debts. We are also considering taking a few months payment break on our mortgage to free up some more to chuck at the debts.

Feeling more positive, but still scared.

brummiebabe

That's great news MM - hope that he's finally seen sense!! :j

Best of luck...keep posting as to how it's going!

By the way...is he still joining the golf club?;)

doodledo_2

Glad hubby has had his LBM as really whilst he continued to spend you were fighting a losing battle to some extent.

Good luck with clearing your debts.

TriciaE

Yes but did the LBM include cancelling his golf trip and giving up on the idea of an expensive golf membership ? I sympathise as my OH is a golf nut and wanted expensive golf membership, only difference was, it wasn't going to happen whilst we had debt to clear, I made it perfectly clear I wouldn't be around if he did.

He used to moan a lot and then accuse me of taking charge of everything. He was right to a point but I told him if he wanted to do the budgeting then he was welcome to the job, he soon made excuses not to. I ended up telling him that he only got grumpy when I talked to him about the finances and our monthly position but he was going to listen as we were supposed to be a partnership and if I didn't share the figures with him then I really would be controlling and I was damned if I was going to allow him to manipulate me when I was working towards clearing the debt for our sakes. In other words, if he wanted to carry on being the kid and me the grown up then the only end result would be a complete lack of respect from me and the only outcome from that would be the end of the relationship as I couldn't be with someone I don't respect....end of...fact...take it or leave it !!!!!

Btw, that end bit 'take it or leave it' was what I said to my OH, I'm not saying it to you, just incase it came out wrong.

MidlandsMum

Well, he's still joining the golf club, yes. It will cost him 25 pounds a week out of his allowance. There is no way he will give up the golf and I told him last night I know I am far too soft on him, but I do love him very much and I want him to be happy. So, he gets his golf club membership and I get to confiscate his cashcard and he will only get cash when he can prove he really needs it. so, that leaves 175 per week for the four us to buy food, clothes, petrol and days out with, which seems quite generous. The whole point was that I didnt mind him having his 50-60 quid a week pocket money, it's just the fact he was taking extra and that has had to stop.

Yes, I know, I'm a pushover, but after 12 years together this Christmas I couldnt be without him and I know he wouldnt be without me. :D

singlemum_4

Hi just read your posts, you put up with a lot. My ex is very simular I spent 13yrs scrimping and saving while he blew everything he could get his hands on running up debts. 2 years ago we seperated mostly because of financial reasons. I got to keep half of his debts for my sins:mad: !! Im now £1,000 off of being out of debt and happy to be financially independent.The kids recognise the value of money and don't miss the unhappiness and stress the situation caused. I hope your OH can make some changes and realise hes a very lucky man to have you stand by him

catchooky

Hi there I sat here & kept thinking 'that's me'!!!!!
I know what it's like to have to be the responsible one - it gets so frustrating and tiring doesn't it???!!!!
My OH has been wrking in commission only since before we met, and though it can be well paid, he unfortunately hasn't been in those jobs.
He's now in a salaried position earning around 1k p/m, but I have no idea where his money goes. I think I need him to get his butt in gear too - I'm here if you need a buddy!!!!!!!!!

Penny2myName

Just read through this, heart goes out to you. Would love to know what caused OH to have his LBM, but the main point is that his light has started to flicker to life, and hopefully now you will be able to start getting on top of some of those debts. I noticed that quite a few had low balances, so hopefully these can be cleared up ad money used towards some of the higher apr ones. Better late than never;)

Lemon_Tree

I'm glad your hubby has finally had his LBM, i really hope that you both manage to work through this, it's going to long and hard especially if he's going to want to continue his treats. But as i've read on here LBM have different strengths and at least his has started to blink, eventually when he finds he can't have something else he'll realise just how much his treats are costing his bulb will be on full glow and your life will be made much easier.
Keep posting here, it was good to be able to read of this progress.

MidlandsMum

Well, he noticed that we'd been charges over £130 in bank charges last month when he went to check the online banking. I think he realised then he's been taking a little too much. He has accepted the blame for overspending and we're going to get through this together. We're both annoyed that we will have to do without a holiday this year as holidays are my job and he is a huge fan of France and out lovely holidays there.

Thanks to everyone!