Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni early?

SAMOSULLIVAN123

Why on earth would you charge your son?

Brambly

Have you thought about agreeing with him that one of you saves the money (possibly in a lifetime ISA) towards a mortgage Otherwise you may never get rid of him! 
(We did this with our son, he finally fledged at Christmas, age 26, miss him a lot but so glad he's not in lockdown with us. )

Smodlet

Of course, he should pay whatever he is costing you by being at home at the very least.  Does he expect to live for free anywhere else?  When are these children expected to grow up?  When they graduate?  Ten years into their mortgage?  When?  We, the tax payers, are paying for them since the vast majority never pay back their student "loans"; just watch Martin Lewis' videos if you doubt this.  If their parents don't teach them life is not a freeload, who will?

silvercar

In answer to the people that see anyone ever 18 as an adult and financially independent, they should read the government student loan financing websites.
The government assumes that students will rely on parental support while studying if they have sufficient (in government eyes) income to do so, or they are married or over 25.
So these young adults may be mature in outlook, but there is the assumption that they have financial support while studying. So don't expect them to pay their own way until they have finished studying.

tindella

Are you saying the he's to offered to pay? Can he get a job picking all the fruit and vegetables that are going to perish in the fields if someone doesn't help out?  Anyone fit enough and furloughed should be doing this!

blantyrefee

I have always taken Dig Money from my 5 kids. It reaches them how to manage their finances.

pmb1467

I agree, stop being greedy, you gave birth to your child, I am of the opinion it's our responsibility as a parent to make sure they are sustained. As we age, don't forget it is our children who choose our nursing homes and it is then their choice whether they choose to help look after us in our old age by visiting, etc or may be they might just recharge us, similar to how we treat them in their youth.  I feel Kindness is always the way to go.

seabreeze75

No unless your son is getting paid work, even if he was entitled to claim benefits I doubt he would get enough to pay you. Certainly ask him to do chores around the home but don't pressure him about paid jobs this summer. He must be worried enough about his future without you adding to his woes.

crmism

One of life's lessons is that nothing is for free, and at some time or other your son needs to find out what the cost of living is all about. Delaying that moment isn't helpful, either to you or him.
You don't say how old he is, but I imagine he's older than I and many others were who started work when 16 years old and contributed to the family's outgoings from the moment they got their first pay packet. All of what your son spent on his accommodation should be yours.

Of course, if he should find that situation unacceptable, he has the option of finding somewhere else to live in the meantime.

silvercar

crmism said:

One of life's lessons is that nothing is for free, and at some time or other your son needs to find out what the cost of living is all about. Delaying that moment isn't helpful, either to you or him.
You don't say how old he is, but I imagine he's older than I and many others were who started work when 16 years old and contributed to the family's outgoings from the moment they got their first pay packet. All of what your son spent on his accommodation should be yours.

Of course, if he should find that situation unacceptable, he has the option of finding somewhere else to live in the meantime.

This is 2020. The government expects that students are given financial help by their parents as a supplement to the loan/ grant that the government provides. Reminiscing about when people worked from 16 and gave to their parents isn't relevant.