Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni early?

silvercar

thedr said:

You don't say whether or not you're struggling financially.
Scenario 1
If you can comfortably afford it then why are you being so mean at a time when everyone should be pulling together? Stop being so petty.
Scenario 2
If you are struggling financially then a small contribution for food might be appropriate until whenever the student loan period ends (end of June?)

I agree with this, a million times over.

gary83

I think some of the answers to this thread explains why we have so many posts from students feeling entitled to things generally. Why so many posts crop up along the lines of “I chose to leave my private student house to move back in with my folks, why can’t the government make our landlords just forget my legal obligation to pay rent”

Nobody is thinking of asking for a contribution from a 6 year old, the student is not a child, they’re an adult. When should they start contributing? When they’ve finished university? When they’re 25? 30? 40? 

Time2Go_25

Put him out on the streets, how dare he come home at such a difficult time.

Robin_Banksy

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni due to the coronavirus outbreak? It seems likely he'll be spending the whole of the summer term with us now, and the cost of our food shopping has increased, as will our other household bills. He is saving money as he isn't being charged for his uni accommodation, so should I ask him to contribute to our bills?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

😲 If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

🙄 Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

No way, you shouldn't have had kids if you don't want to pay for them! Shocking!!

RedRuby_2

KDC1995 said:

Absolutely not - unless COMPLETELY necessary - and by completely necessary I mean can’t put food on the table or are unable to pay bills. As someone else has previously pointed out maintenance and accommodation payments are generally designed to run up to the end of June, so unless you were planning to charge him for coming home for the entire summer what was your plan? One of my best friends parents tried to charge her for food and utilities when she came back from uni for the summer - guess how often she goes home now? She doesn’t. 

As a student my maintenance loan wasn’t great, and I really struggled at some points. If my Dad had tried to make me hand over anything of what I had left to return home I would have been heartbroken, and my relationship with him would have suffered greatly. Please consider this carefully, this choice could be a defining moment in your relationship. 

I haven't logged into my account for awhile but I made the effort to like this post. 
I really can't believe that under a pandemic where people are losing their lives that there are parents out there how are even thinking about charging their children who have had to come back home. Be glad that you have them safe and well. 

Silvioventrone

Very British problems...
An Italian nonna would probably die after reading this 🤦🏻‍♂️

Fitzmichael

I cannot believe that people are saying 'yes' without the caveat 'unless COMPLETELY necessary'. I don't want such people as fellow-citizens, and would have no sympathy if they were hit by COVID.

daivid

I am amazed by the amount of outrage at the suggestion. The son is an adult who made a decision as an adult (or near adult) to go to university. On the face of it (as described in the MMD) his living costs have reduced considerably but his income (loan/grant) have not, if this is the case it seems entirely reasonable that he contributes to what he is benefiting from at home. If his funding (+ employment if applicable) have reduced then hopefully the parents will (/can) be sympathetic. Why should he live for free when he has (/if he has) money coming in?

To me it is perfectly reasonable for parents to ask for an affordable contribution from adult children. If the parents are struggling financially then this would go into the 'pot', if the parents are comfortably off then it could be saved and gifted at a suitable time (buying a car/house/ going traveling...). If the son is being prudent and saving (I can't tell from the wording) it would seem balanced to make sure he still has enough to continue his own saving if the parents can afford to do so. When I was living at home I payed 'rent' of £45 if I was earning £100 or more a week, this was somewhat farcical against the free use of a car whilst home and generous contributions my parents gave me whilst studying but the principle was sound. Parents should support their children past adulthood, not bankroll them - any financial contributions to an adult child should be received with gratitude not expected as an entitlement.

nczm

Yes. Even if you don’t charge him rent, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be using the money he’s saving to contribute to the household bills.

davep99

If you decide to charge your son, but don't know how much to charge him consider that if you were claiming Universal Credit and getting help with your rent DWP would deduct £75.15 a month from your payments for every non-dependant person in the household who is 21 or older, ie. that is the amount DWP would expect your son to contribute to the household budget if he is over 21. They would not make a deduction for housing cost contribution if he is under 21 years old. This might form the basis for negotiating a payment level?