Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni early?

itsawinningthing

I think that no healthy adult should live for for nothing and perhaps you could have a conversation with him based on that and see if he makes some suggestions as to how you might come to to an arrangement that suits you both

Time2Go_25

Not everything has to be about money, my wife was at home for many years bringing up our children, I didn't charge her for the food, heating, home etc. we're a family. One of my daughters comes and spends a week or two with us each summer, I don't charge her for food/heating etc. when she's here, she's family.
To me, my family is the most important thing there is, why would I want to charge them, if all you can do is thing of how much you can wring out of your own family then that's very sad.

TEZZA1953

GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF!!!
NO WAY!!!

Dr_Crypto

Charging your children seems to only be a thing in anglophone countries. Friends from overseas are astonished at the concept. 
My own parents (Brits) would never have even thought of it. 

neilmorgan

He should contribute to the food bill and if he uses something else excessively that increases the cost then he shouuld pay towards that. Does the use of his room really cost you anything though? Would you normally expect him to come home for Christmas or Easter or equivalent celebrations? I certainly wouldn't charge the going rate for whatever he is renting at Uni.

gary83

Fitzmichael said:

I cannot believe that people are saying 'yes' without the caveat 'unless COMPLETELY necessary'. I don't want such people as fellow-citizens, and would have no sympathy if they were hit by COVID.

I don’t really want a generation of entitled snowflakes growing up thinking the world owes them something because nobody taught them the value of money & treated them as an adult. At what age should these “fellow citizens” start contributing to society? 21? 25? 30? 40?

However, despite thinking that, if one of those molly coddled students or the adults that infantilised their adult offspring got Covid I would have sympathy for them. Id have sympathy as that would be a terrifying experience, 30,000 people in the UK have died of it already and I’d have sympathy for them as apparently I don’t have such a petulant, childish attitude as you.

Splatfoot

I think all his friends are posting on here!  😁 I would ask for a minimal contribution, maybe chip in with the shopping if you're buying a lot more. 

gary83

pdel61 said:

Not everything has to be about money, my wife was at home for many years bringing up our children, I didn't charge her for the food, heating, home etc. we're a family. One of my daughters comes and spends a week or two with us each summer, I don't charge her for food/heating etc. when she's here, she's family.
To me, my family is the most important thing there is, why would I want to charge them, if all you can do is thing of how much you can wring out of your own family then that's very sad.

To be fair though those are both very different scenarios, if your working and your wife is at home raising the kids you’ve obviously both decided to have the children and decided that she should pause her career to look after them. Similarly there’s an obvious difference in adult offspring visiting their folks for a weekend, or for a “week or two” and moving back in March until if/when the Unis go back at the end of September, that’s 6 months.

Just to be clear I’m not advocating that parents should be writing up lodgers agreements or charging excessive rents, I’m just saying that most adults could  consider offering their share of the food costs. I’m surprised it’s hit the amount of horror at the very thought of it from some on here.

MoiraHutchison

Yes he should definitely be paying to the household expenses he is creating, he is an adult 
and should therefore expect to pay his way in life.

BlueMicra

Until August I received Child Benefit for my son.  I am having to find the money for extra food, water, gas etc, plus extra housing benefit as I am no longer able to claim single adult discount, so I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect a contribution.   I haven't pushed it because I am happy he came home and don't want him to not come home in future, but I can't afford to keep paying for 2 adults on my income. I think many of the posters outraged at the suggestion are students themselves who don't want to have to pay!!