Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni early?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni due to the coronavirus outbreak? It seems likely he'll be spending the whole of the summer term with us now, and the cost of our food shopping has increased, as will our other household bills. He is saving money as he isn't being charged for his uni accommodation, so should I ask him to contribute to our bills?

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Grumpy_chap

This probably depends how much the impact is to you and your son. 

If he was still at Uni, he would be paying rent plus food bills etc.  So, it would be entirely reasonable to ask him to make a contribution of some sorts, and also encourage him to do something sensible with the nett savings he might still be making rather than fritter it away.  This will support the long term money discipline that he will need.

If you NEED the money, that gives you less flexibility and you need to ask for your son to contribute.  If you don't NEED the money, it is still reasonable to ask for a contribution, but you can be more flexible.  When I was living at home after the end of compulsory school (i.e. 16), I lived at home and my parents charged me a low rent.  What I did not know at the time, was that they were putting the rent into a separate account and, when I had put a deposit on my first house, they gave me all the rent back at a time when I really needed the money.

unforeseen

I think you should at least claim what he gets as a maintenance loan

gettingtheresometime

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lincroft1710

Agree with Unforseen

Gonna-be-debt-free

I think it depends entirely on the circumstances of both parties.   e.g. Is he working?  Are you impacted financially by CV as a family?  Is he still having to pay uni-related bills such as rent.

At the wealthier end of the spectrum, given that you would be paying a parental contribution towards university anyway, it might make sense to reduce that if he doesn't have those associated costs.  However I would assume he would still have some costs including books etc.

At the other end of the spectrum, if you are struggling to put food on the table then it makes sense that all income from any family member is fair game in such exceptional times.
  

hlb41

unforeseen said:

I think you should at least claim what he gets as a maintenance loan

Remember that maintenance loan is only during term time - the summer term ends in mid June. What were his plans for the summer in regards to living/working? Uni accommodation also doesn’t cover the summer unless you’re renting privately. I’d suggest that he pays his way with a contribution to his share of the bills/wifi/food, but maybe not rent. If his plan was to work during the summer in order to pay his rent, then it is likely that he will not be able to get a job now, and so it’s unfair to charge him money if he cannot reasonably earn it.

_nate

Absolutely not. He is back through no fault of his own, possibly incredibly worried about his course, not even to begin to think about his finances. Why would you want to add to his burden by inflicting charges on him for staying with you under circumstances outside his control?

Snuffles1953

No way. You should be pleased to see him and welcome him home as any NORMAL family would. If he had been a soldier fighting in Afghanistan would you still charge him for coming home alive and in one piece. 

ceemac44

Are you serious?  He's your son for God's sake!

KDC1995

Absolutely not - unless COMPLETELY necessary - and by completely necessary I mean can’t put food on the table or are unable to pay bills. As someone else has previously pointed out maintenance and accommodation payments are generally designed to run up to the end of June, so unless you were planning to charge him for coming home for the entire summer what was your plan? One of my best friends parents tried to charge her for food and utilities when she came back from uni for the summer - guess how often she goes home now? She doesn’t. 

As a student my maintenance loan wasn’t great, and I really struggled at some points. If my Dad had tried to make me hand over anything of what I had left to return home I would have been heartbroken, and my relationship with him would have suffered greatly. Please consider this carefully, this choice could be a defining moment in your relationship.