Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my son for living at home after returning from uni early?

keiran

Yes - definitely charge him . You've done your bit by now. And you can also put him out on the game, too, to boost your finances in this difficult time. Tell him his free-loading days are over.

Opulence79

I’m in this situation at the moment. I’m out of work, awaiting benefits and literally have nothing to live off. At the mo, he begrudgingly gives £50 to pay for his half of the food bill each week. 

I think this is fair and reasonable and is simply a token to acknowledge the “family” (just my son & I) live as one unit. 

It very much depends on how you were raised. Once I hit uni, I was responsible for all living costs. Part of growing up!
If I could say it’s ok, I’ve got it covered, great, but I can’t. 

keithyno.1

keiran said:

Yes - definitely charge him . You've done your bit by now. And you can also put him out on the game, too, to boost your finances in this difficult time. Tell him his free-loading days are over.

“Put him out on the game??!” Wow, that’s a bit of a radical solution to a temporary financial problem!  

gary83

I’m surprised so many people are outraged at the question, the “child” at university is probably aged somewhere between 18-21, without knowing the full facts of the family finances it’s purely a hypothetical question - the parents might be living in a leafy 5 bedroom per detached house in Surrey, retired with a couple of investment properties, the mortgage paid off, a second house in the country and a comfortable pension coming in every month, they’re totally unaffected by Covid 19. 

On the other hand the parents might be struggling to make ends meet, their finances might have been drastically impacted by the virus, they’ve already taken a mortgage holiday and are still struggling with their other bills. whilst obviously they’re pleased their son is safe at home, to be honest, they could financially do without another mouth to feed at the moment. The sons still getting his student loan, why shouldn’t he contribute to the household finances? He isn’t a child, he’s a grown adult and during his years at university he’s supposed to get an education but he’s also supposed to grow up a bit, strike out for himself, find his feet and learn some hard lessons, one of which is that an adult you do have some responsibilities. Perhaps by doing this, as well as contributing to his family when they need it the son might also understand the value of money and not feel as entitled as some people are when university ends. At some point he’s going to have to join the real world. 

Vicxie

I don't see anything wrong with asking for contribution but not rent while he is still at university. My mum asked my brother to pay for internet and electricity when he was at uni because he was living at home at the time, she might ask for £5 here and there but that's just how my mum is. My other siblings, they would always give my mum a little something even while living away from home at uni. This is how we've been raised. Now, they've finished uni and living at home and pay majority of the bills. My brother and i don't live at home and we still help by sending her money. Cultural values and upbringing is at play here. If you ask him politely, he might be more than happy to help out, you definitely should not expect actual rent from him though unless he is actively working and rolling in the deep. £50-100 per month is reasonable to ask from a uni student to help support some of the cost at home.

iyhr

How lucky you are to have your son home safe & sound. Ask any parent who has lost a child. If he is working & you need the money ask for a contribution towards food. One day you may be at his Graduation to watch him collect his degree and, as a struggling single Mother who supported her son through Uni, I promise you that moment of pride will make everything worthwhile. The most important thing to learn from Coronavirus is that no amount of money is more important than being with those you love. Give with a glad heart for what you have. 

cherrynass

Even if you don’t need to charge him I feel it teaches young people money management and prevents him from wasting his loan money. We get our Son to pay £20 per week. We put it into a savings account ( but we don’t tell him this) and give it back to him when we feel he needs it at a later date. It’s worked well for us so far. This is on the basis that he is furloughed from his job and isn’t paying any rent for student accommodation since he was living at our own student let anyway. 

Imhcak

Definitely not, our son has had to return home and we are just pleased to have him back  with us and that he is safe. He helps around the house and when he does the shopping he will often pay for it without us asking him to. 

Linda24

Yes it's only fair he contributes.  Plus it will make him more aware of an adult role in life. 

Littlefoot20

No not unless you ABSOLUTELY have to. I am the youngest of four children, brought up at varying times on benefits or one very low income. We all went to uni and none of us received any financial support other than what we received in loans. However, whilst we were in full time undergraduate education we wouldn’t ever have to pay a penny to be at home - even when I was briefly at home and working full time I only paid a low rent so I could save. Of course this depends on your circumstances but if you are able to continue to provide a family home to your student son surely you would.