SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Sistergold

Oh dear @JennyJukes what an annoyance! This is the problem that men seem to think that every woman should have a man so that they can leave you alone! The worry is if you actually stopped and explained your discomfort and tell him off he might begin to do other creepier things? He is probably not proper up there to some extent? I hope that your mortgage will go without a hitch and you can move out soon! I don’t think there will be another person exactly like that old man, so fingers crossed you will just enjoy your new home! Xx

Sistergold

@slm6002 some men can be persistent! Xx

MissMoneyManager

Thank you @Sistergoldit was truly a difficult time in my life the relationship was no good for me and I had known for a long time but I had to wait until I was more financially secure before I could move on. Despite knowing it was the right thing it was a lot of change but you are right the pain can be channelled into something more positive and for me it was following my dream of home ownership!

@JennyJukes congratulations the house sounds excellent and I hope all goes smoothly. I feel I have a similar relationship history to you. I have always been "the best thing that ever happened" to EX's. In reality that just meant they had a lot of red flags and I stuck with them too long helping them with their problems, careers etc. But what were they doing for me??

Unfortunately life is no fairy tale and despite now having a great OH I have learnt my lesson and will always protect my independence. Although my own home is now rented out one day the mortgage will be paid off and I hope the rental income will give me even more security.

HelloB

Catching up... welcome to @JennyJukes, @MissMoneyManager & others!

More importantly to OP @Sistergold, well done on the overpayments and being able to enjoy BBQs. How wonderful!

And I completely empathise with ladies who made concessions for their ex OHs for a peaceful life.  So many of us do that, then realise it was unappreciated.  Hopefully lesson learnt.  

To be honest, I'm so cautious of potential new partners now. Any conversations of" let's buy somewhere together" will be entertained with caution.  

Sistergold

Hello @HelloB time does fly. Thanks for the well wishes. 

I am with you about “let’s buy somewhere “together “, foe me that will be a turn off and end of the relationship! Well I have had such a bad experience I will never do any kind of paperwork with anyone again! No marriage, no house, nothing will be joined together again! I now want a quick getaway and I will keep my assets out of it! Honestly speaking I don’t even have the patients to live with a man even if he bought a house for us to live in. It still means me compromising on my free time and freedoms! 

I will leave all that to the much younger single laddies who despite past bad experiences they feel they still have some love to give! 

Never again! Xx

Sistergold

@MissMoneyManager it’s good you have met someone who is good. You are also lucky you can give love a chance, it’s even better you can look forward to paying off your house. This is good as relationships do seem to change. A man is all good and then somewhere they change or reveal their other side! 

XX 

Sistergold

I have lost all trust in the other sex! Bless them I still know there are some very good men out there I just don’t think I am lucky in that area on a permanent basis. I want now a relationship with boundaries! 

slm6002

Sistergold i am so the same as you - never again

Sistergold

slm6002 said:

Sistergold i am so the same as you - never again

Truly you can say that again! X

JennyJukes

Mortgage applied for yesterday, now I wait.  Stress has definitely eased off a bit.  My manager told me she will go through probation with me next week but not to worry it's just formality. 

I've already been making plans of what to save for next!! First a new car, then a new phone, change the blinds in the house then I've always wanted a jacuzzi bath!! After deposit legal costs moving etc I do still have enough left over for 3 months emergency fund plus some money already towards a second hand car.  The house is a blank slate so I can look at decorating slowly too.  Cannot wait!  My mortgage will be slightly less than I pay right now for a 1 bedroom flat, the property is a 2 bedroom house!  I do need to pay extra council tax and probably higher heating costs and of course building insurance etc but I have been saving almost £450 per month (sometimes more sometimes less) towards buying the house in the first place so some of that will go towards the extra cost then I can figure out how much I can use towards overpaying.  She told me even if I paid an extra £5 per month that will slash another year off the mortgage!  The mortgage will be over 20 years so I could be mortgage free by 48 or even younger!  They will also be in touch with me again after my fix ends to help me remortgage and I should have about 65% LTV by that time!!