SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

Sistergold

@HelloB
Yes I have been a busy bee indeed. I did see the sense in what @Becksport said about getting a builder to give a quote first but my general problem has been I don’t know any builders? I did ask neighbours for recommendations with regards to builder and even architect but they did not know any. One of my neighbours said their architect retired but did suggest someone. Also yesterday one of my neighbours sent me a message to say their son had just used an architect and they sent me his contact, will follow up. Since I have a long time before I can do the actual works I felt after the plans I can then source for building costs? That way they can look at the plan to cost the job? 

X

HelloB

@Sistergold Try putting an ad on MyBuilder and Ratedpeople. The tradesmen will have feedback on their profiles and some will have photos of their work. I normally put odd jobs on these platforms, if my retired neighbour can't help me out on little things. 

Sandyra

Oh excellent full steam ahead SG! You’ve really had a bit of chalk and cheese with the architects. I can live the experience through you. Hi 👋🏾 HN, I like the idea of the architectural designer. My best friend dad is retired building surveyour for the council and he offered to do the drawings for me for free when I was looking at a property that needed work, which is useful, but that’s my only mate rate I’ve got. 😅 Getting tradespeople is always a nightmare, some never get back to you. One thing to note is that there’s Is my quote fair? forum on MSE is useful and there’s the poster Doozergirl who is extremely knowledgeable in regards to building work. 

Sistergold

@HelloB
Thanks for that will add Mybuilder and rated people to my list of where to get someone.

@Sandyra
Will definitely checkout @Doozergirl, thank you! 

Sistergold

@Hazelnutty
Its easy to be a “better parent” when you you are not the resident parent. I had to hold my tongue when in a conversation my daughter said “but dad pays you to look after us”? So I had to ask if the £700 I get will pay for everything concerning them if I stoped working since I am being paid to look after them, the response was but well he gives you money! This child support gets mentioned a lot if I say I can not buy this or that for them cos I don’t have money! The honest truth is the money I get from him does not change my finances in the grand scheme of things. It’s really difficult dealing with children and Exs and money issues and trying not be annoyed with all the things money is supposed to do and you being made to look bad. 

slm6002

I bite my tongue a lot of the time re OH and the kids!

Sistergold

slm6002 said:

I bite my tongue a lot of the time re OH and the kids!

Yeh right? If they were not my children I don’t know how I would put up with the nonsense and misconceptions! 

Sistergold

Hello ladies
Managed to OP £15 today
Another £500 sent to £100k house extension account bringing total fund to £5700 and £94300 left to go. 🏡
Have also sent £500 to save £12k in 2020 challenge account. 

Mortgage should go out 14th of July. 

Making little progress here and there. 

Hazelnutty

Thanks HelloB! It's all been pretty smooth so far - we divvied everything up and separated our finances early. I think I've been so busy (plus doing it online means it's a very efficient and impersonal process) I haven't really stopped and taken in what a big deal this is: the end of a decade of marriage. 

Queen_of_the_Hive

@Hazelnutty well done on your new home. i'm newly divorced too - nisi part granted in March, financial settlement sorted in May and now waiting on the absolute, due any day now. March was rough but getting through it now. Your situation sounds similar to mine. I definitely have plenty of those bite my tongue moments!

I'm renting in the same area as my old house is but someday I will have to move further out which I am in two minds about. Living somewhere cheaper would be better for our finances but how this will impact on the kids i'm not sure. My two are happy and content as they do half the week with me and half with their dad and can easily interchange between the two homes as they are only 10 mins distance walking. Anyway not to worry about it today, tomorrow maybe but not today